Quarantine
by A Kiss For A Kill
Summary: An ever-expanding collection of oneshots and drabbles of the Talumbus variety. Rated for language and being idealogically sensitive. In other words, SLASH.
1. Wind Chill

**_DISCLAIMER:_** I don't own any of them. Not Columbus, Tallahassee, Wichita, or Little Rock. I wish I did. Oh God do I wish I did... But, here's the story anyways. :D

* * *

He never could tolerate the cold well. He always had some sort of jacket nearby just for that reason. All it took was a cool breeze and he'd have pneumonia.

Columbus wrapped himself tighter in his hoodie. He shouldn't be outside, seeing as how the temperature was struggling to stay above forty degrees. The truth was that it was too cold outside, but that was better than how stifling it seemed in the house they'd broken into. He'd had an argument with Wichita again. She'd called him a mistake. Told him that she'd slept with Venice, one of the survivors they'd stumbled across in their aimless trip across the country. She then accused him of being gay anyway. So he'd left.

He heard footsteps behind him and sighed. It was probably Little Rock trying to make him feel better or apologizing for not telling him the truth about Venice. Something heavy and warm dropped on to his shoulders and he recognized the black leather jacket. Tallahassee stood next to him in a black t-shirt and jeans, hands in his pockets.

"You're gonna get cold." Columbus mumbled.

"You're the one that gets sick every time we turn around. You probably shouldn't be out here anyway." Tallahassee pointed out.

"You heard what she said. How am I supposed to take that? I'm one of the last guys on Earth and she's still not interested."

Tallahassee threw an arm around Columbus's shoulders and sighed, "Some women ain't ever happy."

"Especially when _I'm_ in the equation."

"That's just self-depreciating."

"And true." Columbus muttered. He slid his arms through the sleeves of Tallahassee's jacket and zipped it closed. It was warm and smelled faintly of whatever sort of cologne Tallahassee had used back when stuff like that mattered. The wind kicked up and he shivered despite the extra layer of clothing. Tallahassee pulled him closer and Columbus didn't mind as much as he might've thought.

"Truth be told, there was always something about Wichita that I didn't quite like." Tallahassee murmured.

"Really?" Columbus looked up at him.

"Any girl that would play a cute kid like you? Gotta be something wrong with her."

Columbus blushed at the "cute" comment, but didn't say anything. At least Tallahassee wasn't threatening to hit him...

"Come on, spit-fuck. We should get you inside before you get a cold." Tallahassee turned to leave.

"Why do you call me that?" Columbus asked.

"Kid, that's as close to a term of endearment as I come. Take it or leave it." Tallahassee smiled.

"Why only me?"

Florida rolled his eyes and asked when they started playing "20 Questions".

"I want to know." Columbus said stubbornly.

The older man approached him slowly. Columbus was beginning to regret his decision. He took a step back and found himself cornered with Tallahassee in front of him and a burnt out RV shell behind him. Tallahassee put one hand on either side of Columbus and leaned close.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't..." Columbus froze. Was... Was Tallahassee _kissing_ him? It was different from kissing Wichita. He didn't have to worry about being laughed at for taking a clumsy lead. Tallahassee seemed to be doing all the thinking for him. He felt a hand wrap around the back of his neck, fingers tangle in. his hair, and tilt his face upwards and he pressed closer to Florida, clinging desperately to his shirt. The wind blew harder and colder than before. Despite the heat between himself and the self-proclaimed "One Man Zombie Hunting Army" and the two jackets, Columbus shuddered, something Tallahassee didn't miss.

"Now we're really going to get you inside."

"Let's not." Columbus murmured, eyeing Tallahassee's lips.

"I never said we had to stop once we got inside. But it's a hell of a lot warmer. And what better way to fuck with Wichita?" Tallahassee winked. Columbus grinned and allowed himself to be pulled to the house.

* * *

**A/N:** So, just a little side note, I will be adding more one-shots and drabbles to this. No idea how many, but we'll see where it goes. :D


	2. Scream

**A/N:** Now, I **_DO NOT_** normally update this quickly. I usually update once a week or so if I'm lucky and have the time to write. But seeing as how I live in Maryland, I've been hit by two consecutive blizzards and am consequently stuck inside. What better way to kill time while you're snowed in than writing slash? Yeah. Didn't think there was a better way. :3

**Fence Walker:**I evaluated your rating suggestion... I think I agree with you. For now. I've bumped it down to "T" for the time being, but as I get more comfortable with the characters... Well, things have a tendency to escalate. -instert evil laugh here- XD

**Cooper Sterling:**I'm really glad you liked the last chapter. :3 Did I mention I've read all of your Talumbus stories and demand you write more for me? :D

**Ninny-na:** I would _much_ rather be cold than hot, I agree with you there. This chapter, however, is all about the heat...

**AbigailBreslinRocks13:** More has been added.

**luuluulove:** She _was_ a bitch for that chapter, wasn't she... I, for whatever reason (I have no freakin' idea why) said "You can't spell Wichita without _bitch_." Kinda went from there. XD And I did kinda wanna showcase the fluffy side I believe Tallahassee tries to hide, hence the jacket. :D

* * *

"Christ it's hot." Wichita groaned.

"You'll get used to it." Tallahassee insisted.

Columbus agreed with Wichita. It _was_ unbearably hot. They'd ended up in Florida, going back to what Tallahassee swore was a safe place, or at least as safe as they came these days. Little Rock was the only one enjoying herself, jumping in mud puddles and standing in the near-constant rain showers to clean off. They were filling the gas tank of their beloved Hummer and raiding whatever food stuff they could find.

"So how did you hear about this place anyway?" Columbus asked.

"It's my friend's place. He was a bit of a conspiracy theorist and had the place set up to withstand the apocalypse. More guns than you can believe and the front door is an inch of steel." Tallahassee smiled.

That had been two days ago. They eventually found his friend's house, found one of the infected bastards wandering around inside. Tallahassee muttered something about Isaac never being smart enough to know not to get bit and they tossed the body outside.

The door was, in fact, an inch of steel, and all of the windows had steel sheets that rolled down to keep the infected out, even if the windows were broken. In the cellar was food, piles and piles of cans. There was a large generator and the entire system was attached to a private well. They were self-sufficient to a certain degree.

"All of these doors would withstand a fucking _grenade_." Wichita grinned, examining the bedroom, bathroom, closet doors. They were all thick, bullet-proof. Zombie-proof. Sound-proof.

It was something Columbus found himself grateful for by their third day in the house.

"Fuck, oh Christ." He gasped. Tallahassee had one large hand wrapped around Ohio's little wrists, pinning them above his head to the wall and his other hand had slid under the familiar brown hoodie. His lips and teeth were attacking the smooth, pale skin on Columbus's neck.

"The girls can't hear _jack shit_ as far as what's goin' on in here. I expect you to scream." Tallahassee growled.

Columbus willingly did as he was told when Tallahassee's hips hit his own. Columbus was a bit of a prude, as Tallahassee had put it. He reluctant to move from fleeting, chaste kisses to anything deeper. Of course, once Tallahassee showed just how talented his tongue was, Columbus was a little more willing to kiss him. But this? This crossed all of the numerous and various lines and boundaries that Columbus had erected. He winced at his own poor word choice. It just reminded him of the situation he was in. Unpleasant? God no. Unexpected? Hell yes. He was well beyond the point of rationality, what with his limited interaction with other members of the human species leaving him completely unprepared to be overwhelmed by this and all, and he had the sneaking suspicion that Tallahassee wasn't exactly ready to be the voice of reason in this either.

"Did you hear that?" Little Rock asked, looking around.

"Hear what?" Wichita asked, conveniently dropping an armload of firewood very loudly.

"It sounded like Columbus was yelling something."

"Tallahassee probably did something stupid. You saw him playing with that scorpion he found in the back yard. Knowing him, he probably threw it on Ohio to scare the shit out of him."

"Must be yelling pretty loud for us to hear him through those doors." Little Rock wasn't convinced.

"We're talking about the kid that's afraid of normal, human clowns. I'm pretty sure a scorpion would send him through a loop."

"Sounds more like they're... you know." Little Rock smirked.

Wichita rolled her eyes, only confirming her sister's guess, Little Rock giggled, and somewhere, in the back half of the house behind a half-inch thick, steel-plated door, Columbus screamed.

* * *

**A/N2:**And this is what being stuck in my house for a week does to me. I have a feeling someone might ask about the house idea... I lived in Florida for ten years and a friend of mine really does have a house set up like this. His dad's a conspiracy theorist and has decided that when everything explodes in a "Modern Warfare 2" style, he'd be better off ready. After a late-night conversation with several of my friends, we decided that, in the event of a zombie attack, Isaac's house would be our rendezvous site. XD


	3. One And Done

**DISCLAIMER:** If I owned Zombieland, I probably wouldn't be writing fanfiction of it. I'd just put all of this shit into the actual movie. XD

**_AUTHOR'S NOTE:_** There's an important author's note at the _end_ of this. There's a reason it's at the end, so just wait until you get there. :D Your reviews make more of a difference now than ever before!!! lol And to the reviewers...

**luuluulove: **Oh yes, conspiracy theorists are entertaining. In fact, every time I walk into a building, I look around to see where I could hole up, hide out or otherwise survive some sort of attack. Usually of the zombie variety. XD

**Ninny-na:** Oh yes, Little Rock knows all. o.O I dunno, they made her really intuitive and mature in the movie and I wanted to carry that over here. And yeah, we got a TON of snow. We've had classes cancelled for over a week now and we start our classes 2 hours late for the next few days. XD

**Ravenclaw Samurai:** Oh yes... I'll probably bounce back and forth between "Columbus and Tallahassee alone together" to "Columbus and Tallahassee trying to avoid the girls" to "Columbus and Tallahassee having to face some UST because of the girls". XD I'll try to update as often as possible. :D

* * *

Columbus never really thought himself a lusty person. To feel lust, you had to interact with owhter members of the human species. But how often did that happen with Columbus? The correct answer was "never". Until the world ended and he hitched a ride with a gun-loving, zombie-killing, Twinkie-obssessed man who called himself Tallahassee. That was when the shit hit the fan.

At first, Columbus just called it ecstatic gratitutde. Not only could Tallahassee handle himself in a situation, he was damn good at making sure said situation didn't get too far out of hand. It was also safer to travel with someone else. Now he'd have someone to watch his back while he slept.

He was, of course, convinced he was in love with Wichita when he met her. But her constant "I want to kiss you" and "You don't fit into my survival plans" mood-swings exhausted him. Not to mention her trust issues made things even more complicated.

They eventually decided things were better if they weren't trying to follow the ridiculously treacherous romance path and Little Rock and Wichita went their own way with another suvivor they found, Venice Beach, and his little brother Oceanside.

That was when he realized "ecstatic gratitude" wasn't the proper word choice when it came to describing his feelings towards the only remaining member of the rag-tag group. That was around the time he started realizing things were more difficult with Wichita _gone_. Now he didn't have someone to stare at with impunity when he realized he was staring at Tallahassee. Now he had to keep staring out the window, keep his eyes focused on the safety of the horizon.

It was their second month alone together when they holed up in an old bar with heavy doors and only a few small windows. Tallahassee cracked open a bottle of tequila and poured two shots, one for him, one for Columbus. This time, instead of tossing the shot, Columbus downed it. He winced at the sharp, painful burn that started in the back of his throat and just carried on down until it felt like a hot coal was sitting where his stomach should be. His lips burned slightly and he decided that the experience was unpleasant, but it could be tolerated.

"Still one and done?" Tallahassee asked almost mockingly. Columbus rolled his eyes and slid his glass towards Tallahassee who wasted no time in filling it up.

The second shot, Columbus realized, didn't burn quite so bad as the first. The third one, even less.

"You should probably slow down." Tallahassee warned.

Columbus rolled his eyes and swayed in his seat a little.

"I can tell just by lookin' at you that you're one hell of a lightweight." Tallahassee continued.

"You don't know shit about me." Columbus was a little surprised as his words began ro run together. Was he that buzzed? Tallahasssee just laughed and raised the tequila bottle to his lips. Columbus continued to stare. Tallahassee caght the lingering gaze and lowered the bottle. Columbus snatched it and slid it down the bar, slid it out of the way. Columbus, some how, managed to move from his barstool to Tallahassee's without falling over, he managed, with some help, to straddle Tallahassee's hips. The air between them smelled like alcohol and lust. Columbus gave up on thinking. He let the fermented agave do that for him, let the alcohol lean him forward and push his lips against Florida's. There wasn't a moment's hesitation.

Columbus decided that his initial reaction to drinking was melodramatic. That wasn't like fire. That was like fire_flies. _Kissing Tallahassee had the blindingly white-hot intensity of a thermo-nuclear blast. The older man rotated the swivelling barstool seat with an uncanny practiced ease and pinned Columbus against the bar. His fingers dug into Columbus's hair, grabbing a handful of dark curls. Columbus found the situation oddly erotic and he moaned against Tallahassee's lips, urging him to pick up the pace. Tallahassee chuckled at his eagerness.

"Bet you never kissed Wichita like this." He smirked. Columbus muttered a reply along the lines of "too fucking fragile" and reattached their lips. Up until that moment, and the several long moments following, Columbus had never seen himself as a lusty person...

* * *

**A/N2:** For some reason, I damn near gave myself a nosebleed writing this. o.o Anyways, your reviews are going to determine the next chapter. I'm perfectly happy with leaving it here, leaving this a "T" rated story and leaving ou guys to your imagination. But I'm also perfectly happy with bumping the rating up a letter and letting you guys _use _my imagination while I make this story a little tangier with lemony goodness. :D I'll leave you to the contemplation because your happiness as readers determines my happiness as a writer. No, seriously, it does. o.O


	4. One And Done Lemon

**WARNING: LEMON SLASH AHEAD!! For those of you who don't know what that means, two guys having sex follows. If that doesn't pluck your duck, please click the back button. If you decide to send me a flame because you didn't read this, I cannot be held accountable for what I do. :D**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** There was a fairly large number of you guys who reviewed and asked me to continue the last chapter and just bump the rating up. Good Lord, here I go... My second lemon posted on this site, posted anywhere, really. And it was written mostly on school nights and before the start of my classes... At any rate, this one might come off as sub-par... Dammit...

**A Secret Masquerade:** Bumped up. And thanks. :3

**Ninny-na:** The dramatic continuation....

**Awesomesauce123:** Rating bumped and we are carrying on.

**Cooper Sterling:** After looking over your suggestions, I have come to the conclusion that I'm in freaking love with all of them and they will contribute to my Godzilla of Talumbus fluff that will eventually evolve here. :D

**iwontforgetyouplzdontleave:** Rating bumped. Hope this helps your imagination...

* * *

There was a certain element of desperate recklessness in the way Columbus kissed Tallahassee. The edge of the bar digging into his back probably should have been a hell of a lot more unpleasant than it was. Columbus decided that it just added a certain element of realism to the situation; the bite of the old, over-polished wood kept him from thinking this was all just a wet-dream. He felt like he was slipping and shifted closer to Tallahassee, forcing a groan from the man. Columbus stopped for a moment, the reaction taking its time working through his alcohol-addled brain. Once he finally managed to put two and two together, he smiled and ground his hips into Florida again. The friction and the breathy moans coming from his partner were setting Columbus's nerves alight.

Tallahassee pulled _his_ little spit-fuck closer and bit at his bottom lip. Columbus's moan was little more than a loud, heavy breath. Tallahassee's lips redirected their attack to the side of Columbus's neck and the moan he was rewarded with this time was louder than a heavy breath. For the moment, he wasn't worried about those cannibal freaks that may or may not be wandering the road just outside. The doors and windows would hold; they were safe enough in here. Columbus was suddenly glad he was a little closer to wasted than he'd ever been before; he was beginning to see why liquor was called "liquid courage", a revelation that was solidified by his fingers suddenly reaching for the button on Tallahassee's jeans.

"Gettin' desperate?" Tallahassee chuckled. Columbus fixed him with with a glare and an indignant look flickering behind his glassy green eyes and ground their hips together again. Tallahassee couldn't stop the moan and Columbus asked, "Now who's desperate?" Tallahassee muttered something about playing games and crushed their lips together again. His tongue flickered over Columbus's lips and the younger nervously parted them. It took a surprising amount of effort for Tallahassee to stop the laugh that threatened to break the mood. He'd known Columbus's story about "Beverly Hills" was a towering heap of bullshit; he just didn't have the heart to call him on it. Columbus's hips shifted against him again and the laugh died and morphed into a strangled moan. Tallahassee's teeth dug sharply into Columbus's shoulder and he hissed.

"How far do you think you can take this?" Tallahassee challenged.

"I saw a bed in one of the back rooms when we cleared the place." Columbus murmured huskily. There was no room for question in his tone, but Tallahassee silently asked him anyway. Columbus narrowed his eyes and bit his partner's neck. Tallahassee spun the bar stool again and pushed Columbus off of him before he slid off the stool himself and pulled the younger towards the back rooms, kicking the doors open and looking for the bed Columbus swore he saw. It was more of a small mattress on the floor than anything else, but it sure as hell beat the rough concrete alternative. He threw Columbus down onto the mattress and descended on him with a lusty fury.

Columbus was vaguely aware of rough hands pushing his shirt away and he hurried to return the favor. Tallahassee's hands curled around Columbus's hips and his tongue forged a wet trail down Ohio's neck and chest. The smaller of the two moaned and writhed and begged for things he had no knowledge of. Tallahassee refused to be rushed. His fingers pushed Columbus's button through its loop and pulled down his zipper. Cool air cut through the thin fabric of Columbus's boxers and he sucked in a hissing breath.

"Well don't we look excited?" Tallahassee purred. Columbus responded with a frustrated growl. Tallahassee retorted by passing one of his large hands over Columbus's erection. Columbus moaned and bucked under the touch. Tallahassee's fingers slid below the waistband of Columbus's underwear and slid them away. Ohio muttered something about it being unfair that he was the only naked one and Tallahassee gave in and stripped himself.

Their naked forms pressed against each other and Columbus whimpered and moaned with desperate need.

"You sure you know what you're asking for?" Tallahassee rasped.

"I have pretty damn good idea about knowing what the fuck I want. Now stop acting like this isn't effecting you and _get on with it._" Columbus ordered.

Tallahassee raised an eyebrow. Whether it was the unattended arousal or just the booze talking, Tallahassee was just a little impressed by the forcefulness behind Ohio's words. He smirked to himself and decided he was going to give the annoying little dumb-shit just what he asked for... He ran a hand down the side of Columbus's face and kissed him again. Columbus was beginning to get impatient and thanked whatever god was listening for the internet and the amount of time he spent on certain websites... He turned his head and took one of Tallahassee's fingers into his mouth, his tongue sliding across the digit, his eyes on Florida's face. There was a lusty shine in those pale blue eyes and Columbus smiled to himself. The finger disappeared from his mouth and ventured lower. Columbus ground his teeth as the spit-slicked finger slid into him. It didn't hurt, but _goddamn_ it was uncomfortable... It was a minute or two before the ache of another finger made Columbus cringe and wrap a hand around the base of Tallahassee's neck to pull their lips together.

Tallahassee pulled away and spit in his hand, slicking his erection. Columbus swallowed nervously and clung to his partner tightly. The pain was very real, but not quite so bad as Columbus had imagined... He knew that it was probably the alcohol numbing just about everything, and he was mildly grateful for that. There was a slight moment of hesitation before Tallahassee began to rock his hips. The new and admittedly _amazing_ sensation had Columbus panting and moaning in no time. His short fingernails dug into his new lover's shoulders, though it didn't seem to be effecting Florida in the slightest.

"F-Fuck... Tally... I... I think... Oh, fuck." Columbus moaned.

Tallahassee knew what the kid was trying to say, but he didn't let that deter him. He continued at his set pace. He continued kissing and biting Columbus's neck and shoulders and collarbones and whatever else he could get his teeth on.

"Tally, Tally, Tally, Tally." The new nickname had become a mantra for Columbus, his own little "Hail Mary". He knew what was coming. He could feel it building. He sank his teeth into Tallahassee's shoulder and tried to stifle his scream as he came. It was effective only to a slight extent. It was only a few more seconds before Tallahassee was similarly spent and they lay on the thin mattress next to eachother, panting and slicked with sweat and semen. Columbus rested his head on Tallahassee's chest and closed his eyes, too exhausted by the experience and the alcohol to bother with anything else. Tallahassee, who was slightly more experienced in everything new to Columbus, reached around for a gray blanket he'd seen when they stumbled into the room. He pulled it over them and kissed the top of Columbus's head. Tallahassee made a mental note of the date (Columbus was rather neurotic about these things, as with nearly everything else), pulled his gun and Columbus closer, and allowed himself to sleep.

* * *

**A/N2: **Don't really like the ending, but I'm trying to finish this up before I have to go to class, which is in less than twenty minutes. T-T Hope it's as good a read as it was a write!!!


	5. Movie Night

**A/N:** This was an idea sent to me by **Cooper Sterling**, a damn good Talumbus writer. :D I have a few more fluff ideas from Cooper, a few great ideas. Expect there to be "the Godzilla of Talumbus fluff" ahead. :3

**luuluulove:** I like to think of Tallahassee as the type of guy who can be what he needs to be. So when Columbus is hot and ready to go, he's there for it. But when poor Ohio is ready to take a nap, he's there to cuddle. :3 And, truth be told, I _do_ tend to write fluffy porn in class. X3 I have a little code that only I can read and I scribble it down in a notebook when there's not really anything else to do. :D

**iwontforgetyouplzdontleave:** In all honesty, I was seriously fighting the worlds _worst_ nosebleed while I wrote that. It was wayyyy bad. I wasn't just _writing_ the scene. I was like, watching it play out in the back of my head. XD

**Zoi no miko:** Keeping them in character can be a little bit of a task, but I'm glad you think I'm doing a good job.

**Mus4u:** Oh-ho-ho. There will be plenty more. -evil grin-

**Cooper Sterling:** Cooper my dear, I owe you for all of these ideas. Whatever you need, name it. Though, I feel the need to mention that I might sit on these ideas for those times when my Muse decides he's going to head for the hills and leave me with nada. Though I have a feeling you know just what I'm talking about. Epsilon and Malachite (my Muse and Inspiration, respectively) are prone to evaporating... Just last week I turned to Epsi for a little help and I found his chair empty except for a picture of him with some cute little Australian boy... Anyway!!! Thanks a veritable fuck-tone for the ideas. ;)

**Ninny-na:** I hope you don't mind me swiping your use of "Collie" as a nickname for "Columbus". I think it's kinda cute for them to have pet names for eachother. :3

* * *

"Thank God for windmills." Tallahassee sighed.

They were in the Midwest, in a town so small, it was excluded from most maps. The little speck of civilization was surrounded on all sides by open fields and windmills plugged directly into the local power grid. As long as there was wind and the windmills were standing, they had power.

The house they were staying in was large and the owner was clearly used to the finer things in life, if the champagne chilling in the refrigerator and the extensive wine collection were anything to go by.

"God _damn_ it... I know I saw it in here somewhere..." Tallahassee muttered as he sifted through a stack of DVDs.

"What are you looking for?" Columbus asked from the couch.

"It had better not be that horror movie." Wichita warned.

"If you don't like what I'm putting on the TV in here, go to your room and watch your own movie with your sister in there." Tallahassee huffed.

Wichita glared at him, though it went unnoticed, seeing as how he was far too busy digging through the collection of movies, and told Little Rock it was time for bed.

"It's not like we have to be somewhere tomorrow." Little Rock pouted.

"That wasn't up for debate. Bed. Now. Come on. We'll let these two scare themselves useless in peace." Wichita smirked.

"I got it!" Tallahassee grinned triumphantly. Columbus looked at the case and swallowed hard. "Silent Hill"(1). He heard things about that movie being scary as all hell, and a total mindfuck once you got down to it. He'd heard the game was worse. Columbus pulled his legs up onto the couch and let Tallahassee start the film. He had an overactive imagination. He really had no business watching a horror movie like this... But he didn't want Florida to walk around calling him "Claudia" or "Linda" or whatever other girl's name he could come up with.

Tallahassee started the movie and sat on the couch next to Columbus. Ohio snuck closer to Taahassee as the opening credits began to roll. A little girl running off and disappearing in the dead of night while screaming insanities about Silent Hill and how she wants to go "home" to a town that no one has ever heard of? That was the definition of creepy, as far as Columbus was concerned. And then the monsters started showing up. It was no time at all before Columbus had his arms around Tallahassee's waist and his face buried in Florida's chest.

"You feelin' okay?" Tallahassee asked, glancing at the cowering Columbus.

"I have an overactive imagination, okay?" Columbus muttered. Tallahassee rolled his eyes and pulled Columbus closer, hoping the tightening of his arms would alleviate some of Ohio's fears, but he made no move to stop the film's progression.

"Jesus Christ!! That thing... That thing just ripped that woman's _skin off_ and _threw it_ at a _fucking church!_" Columbus wailed. He pressed his face into Forida's chest and closed his eyes. Tallahassee smelled faintly of sweat and dirt and dried blood and something almost herbal. It was more comforting than being told the cannibal apocalypse was over. It was familiar. It was what _safe_ smelled like, what safe felt like...

Columbus braved another look at the screen. He blanched and looked away. A little girl being burned alive because she was born out of wed-lock? This movie was more fucked up than he realized. He whimpered and Tallahassee's grip tightened a little more. Even at the end gredits, Columbus was a little afraid of looking at the screen.

"What did you think?" Tallahassee asked with a slight smile. Columbus muttered something that was lost to Tallahassee's shirt.

"I can't hear ya, spit-fuck." Florida sighed.

"I said I don't think I'm gonna sleep for a week." Columbus muttered.

"Scared the big bad monsters of the nightmare world are gonna crawl out from under the bed and get you?" Tallahassee teased. Columbus whimpered and pulled his legs closer to himself.

"Fuck, kid. You know I'm just fucking with you." Florida growled.

"Well you're doing a mighty fine job of it."

Tallahassee pulled Columbus up onto his lap and held him close. Columbus wrapped his arms around Tallahassee's neck and tried to forget the film.

"You're shakin' pretty damn hard, Janet."

"Fuck you, Florida." Columbus muttered.

"Gladly." Tallahassee smirked.

Columbus responded by burying his face in the crook of Tallahassee's neck and trying to control his breathing. Every time he closed his eyes, he'd see one of those _things_ from the movie and he'd just have to open his eyes back up. It didn't matter how exhausted he was; he wouldn't be getting any sleep anytime soon.

"It was just a movie, Collie." Tallahassee sighed.

"It doesn't matter. Over-active imagination. We've had this conversation a thousand times."

"So why'd you continue watching the movie?"

"Because you wanted to." Columbus shrugged. Tallahassee chuckled at the notion and Columbus's arms wrapped tighter around his neck.

"It's not funny."

"Kid, only you would put yourself through your own version of hell for me."

Columbus just shrugged and mumbled something incoherent.

"Did you have to pick a movie _that_ fucked up?" Columbus demanded.

"That's not the worst I could've done, Ohio."

"No more horror movies, please."

"I dunno... I kinda like the position we're in afterwards."

"What sort of fucked up logic are you using?"

"The kind that seems to work for me."

They were silent for a moment. Tallahassee was torn between being pissed at himself for putting Columbus through that, and glad that he was the one Columbus went to for comfort. Columbus was trying to decide if he was going to refuse to fuck Tallahassee to get revenge for the stupid movie, or if he was going to fuck Tallahassee just to pass out and get some sleep at all. Columbus closed his eyes for a moment and shuddered at the thought of bloodshed and gigantic flesh-eating cockroaches.

"Tally?"

"Yeah?"

"You win this round."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll fuck you until I can't hold my eyes open." Columbus sighed. Tallahassee smiled and carried Columbus to the bedroom they shared.

* * *

**(1):** This is not to be confused with "The Hills Have Eyes", as most people usually do. Silent Hill the movie was based on the game by Konami. The game is scary as hell, and the movie has it's own creep factor to go with it. It's basically my favorite horror flick _ever_.

And there it is. :D Not the best one I've written, but it's better than nothing, eh? But then again... there are few things better than fluff. :D


	6. Envy

**A/N:**This is the beginning of a "series". I'm going to go the route everyone seems to go and cover the seven deadly sins. But mine aren't going to be short little drabbles. These are (hopefully) going to be deep analyses of the characters and their reactions to the sins. I just hope this doesn't end badly... XD

**Cooper Sterling:** You'll get more accustomed to that warm and fuzzy feeling you mentioned. I plan on using those ideas when I run out of my own. ;) lol.

**Ninny-na:** I thought it was kind of cute for them to call each other stuff like that... I could just imagine what would happen if Columbus called Tallahassee "Tally" in front of other people... lol.

**luuluulove: **Truth be told, I only watched the movie because I liked the game. XD And it's okay, I make "loose" connections between things too. I found a Gears of War slash called "GreenEyed Monster" and a friend of mine mentioned a chainsaw gun, which made me think instantly of GoW slash, almost completely skipping the connection between "Chainsaw Gun", "Lancer" and "GoW". XD And I'm glad I could help you through your crappy work day. :D

**LaylaBinx:** And continue I shall. :)

**Fence Walker:** Oh, Don't worry. I get absent-minded when it comes to putting things on alert too. XD I'm a sucker for fluff too, so don't worry about it. And it took me a while to tame my overactive imagination that tends to become paranoia late at night, and I have a bit of a horror addiction, so we can all see where this is going, lmao. And don't worry about "tl;dr prattle". Truth be told, I enjoy reading through the longer reviews. They make me happy.

**indigo_blue72:** I'm really hella glad you like thses. And I have no intention of stopping my writing.

* * *

Columbus spend most of his life knowing nothing of envy. He could define it and explain it, but it was something he had never experienced.

On the first leg of his road trip, he had Tallahassee's attention; barring the occasional zombie attack or Twinkie run, the attention was undivided. There were questions that were skirted and arguments that were started, but the interaction with another human through means other than an internet connection was refreshing. And then they started traveling with Wichita and LIttle Rock. He was pushed to the side in favor of revenge for the stolen vehicles and teaching Little Rock whatever seemed important at the time.

Tallahassee had known envy. He knew what it was to want what someone else had. And Wichita very clearly had Columbus under her spell. He assumed the envy was his fault. He knew he was getting attached to the spineless dumbshit. Now he'd just have to live with the socially awkward spit-fuck making kissy-faces at Wichita. The only safe-haven he had from the acrid envy was teaching Little Rock to survive; teaching her everything he should have been teaching Buck...

In Tallahassee's humble opinion, no good would come of that relationship, one Little Rock had dubbed "Columbaha", for lack of celebrity couples to follow and a lack of tabloids to follow them _in_. Just another sign that the kid and the bitch thief were hooked at the hip. He knew that he'd had a few days alone on the road with Columbus, but that wasn't time enough to make a move. But maybe he was just envious of Wichita taking advantage of the time she had.

"Why don't we break off and head out on our own?" Wichita asked, her eyes on the road. Columbus was in the passenger seat, flipping through a collection of CDs while Little Rock and Tallahassee napped in the back.

"Why?"

"We could start a family of our own." She shrugged.

"Raising a kid doesn't sounds appealing under _normal_ circumstances. But in Z-land? Forget it. Besides, Florida and your sister seem attached." Columbus hoped the bitterness in his voice would pass for exhaustion. It didn't. Wichita asked him about it.

"I'm just tired." He lied.

"So sleep." Wichita said stiffly.

"Two awake at a time. You know the rules." Columbus sighed.

"I'll stay up." Little Rock volunteered. Wichita didn't hesitate in pulling off the road and telling them to switch seats. They did so quickly and with nervous eyes and guns at the ready.

Sitting in the back seat, Columbus stared out the window, watching the darkened landscape roll by. He wasn't sure how long he stared, but he eventually fell asleep.

"Wake up, spit-fuck. We have to take over for the girls." Tallahassee shook Columbus awake. Ohio rubbed his eyes. The sun was just past sunrise, and he took the opportunity to look at their surroundings, now that he could actually _see_. The sun was hanging close to the horizon, casting a warm, pale golden glow across the plains that surrounded them. For a moment, Columbus felt at peace with the world, like, for once, everything was okay, like things would work out, like they could actually live to see the end of the zombie apocalypse. Columbus struggled to preserve that feeling of calm, and it seemed Tallahassee was too. Neither of them spoke, just looked for a suitable pace to rest. It wasn't long before Wichita's soft snores reverberated through the Hummer, challenged only by Little Rock murmuring something about cake in her dreams. The sun rose higher, the golden glow dissipated, and the power of the calm was suddenly less apparent.

"I heard you and Wichita arguing last night." Tallahassee said softly, either because he didn't want to wake the girls or because it just seemed somehow _wrong_ to speak loudly.

"Oh really?"

"Trust me kid, Zombieland is _not_ the place for kids." Florida struggled to keep his voice even. Columbus winced. With the care-free, fuck-it-all attitude Tallahassee walked around with all the time, it was often easy to forget how much he'd lost since the beginning of the shit-storm.

"I, uh, I didn't mean to upset you by arguing about that. I know it's a touchy subject for you." Columbus murmured.

"Kid, I'm lookin' out for _you_. _She_ might want a baby, but she's not gonna be the only one stuck on diaper-duty."

"Are you saying I'm going to be a bad father?"

"I never said that. I'm just sayin' that I think you have a few issues of your own to work out before you worry about potty-training an infant."

Columbus shook his head. He knew that anything he said would just be taken the wrong way, especially considering Tallahassee had his own problems with feeling like a bad father. He knew that all of Florida's time with Little Rock was some form of compensation for losing Buck.

"Just... Be careful with Wichita. She's a sweet girl and all, but there's no telling what kind of tricks she's capable of. She took us twice."

"So we've gone from me being a bad father to her being a bad mother. Maybe if you'd actualy spend time with her, you'd realize she's not as bad as you think." Columbus growled.

"Meaning _what_?"

"Meaning that you spend all of your time playing with guns with Little Rock."

"Jealous?"

"Fuck you." Columbus snapped.

The silence filling the Hummer was suddenly more awkward and tense than calm and serene. Columbus started chewing at the inside of his lip, an old nervous habit he couldn't ever seem to break.

"Stop with that chewin' on your mouth shit." Tallahassee ordered.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is it an inconvenience to you?"

"Kid, don't start. Now is _not_ the time."

Columbus rolled his eyes and continued gnawing. He stared out the window with a sour expression and nearly laughed at the dark, bitter irony of starting the day off so well. He cried out sharply when Tallahassee punched him hard in the shoulder.

"What the fuck was _that_ for?" Columbus demanded.

"I told you to stop with the chewin' shit and you didn't fucking listen."

"It's a habit. If you'd pay attention, you'd know that."

"Maybe if you spent time with someone other than Wichita, I'd have the fucking chance." He spat.

"Don't make all of this my fucking fault. You spend more time with rifles and Little Rock than you do anyone else."

The words hung like an acrid smoke between them, clouding the front of the Hummer, making it impossible to see anything other than their new disdain for each other.

"Times like these make me wonder why I quit drinking." Tallahassee muttered to no one in particular.

"I was unaware that you'd ever stopped. I distinctly remember an open bottle of bourbon between the seats when we first me."

Tallahassee ground his teeth and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. This was going far from well. He spotted a rest stop sign and pulled off, parking the bright yellow SUV near an abandoned Corvette. They woke Wichita and Little Rock and the girls walked quickly to the bathrooms, seemingly unaware of the tension between their male counterparts. Tallahassee and Columbus silently raided the vending machines for whatever they could grab on to that looked like it was still edible. They leaned against the Hummer while the girls took their time in the bathrooms.

"Look, I didn't mean to snap at you in the car." Columbus sighed. He was always the first to apologize. Tallahassee swore it made him seem like a bitch, but Columbus quitely reminded himself that the bigger man always stepped up first.

"We're both to blame I suppose." Tallahassee shrugged.

"Do... Do you really think I spend too much time with Wichita?"

"You whine about me teaching Little Rock to survive. The only reason I spend so much time teaching her to shoot is because the rest of our company is too wrapped up in each other."

Columbus considered what the older man was telling him. He hadn't even realized he'd been chewing on the inside of his lip until Tallahassee grabbed his face and scowled at him.

"I told you to stop chewing on your lips like that."

Columbus squirmed and tried pulling away. Tallahassee pushed his back against the warm side of the Hummer and stared down at him with chill blue eyes that made the uncanny southern heat seem distant. Tallahassee released Ohio's face and Columbus nervously licked his lips with a blood-stained tongue.

"I think this entire thing has just been envy, jealousy, and misunderstandings." Tallahassee murmured lowly. Columbus swallowed thickly and nodded. Why did he feel like he'd done speed or snorted the adderol 401 had tried selling him once? Why was he feeling jumpy at nothing? Why was he staring?

Tallahassee inched forward with painstaking slowness, unsure if he was trying to avoid spooking Columbus or himself, but their lips eventually touched and there was suddenly no need for them to bother with fear of spooking one another. Tallahassee's tongue flicked over Columbus's lips and Columbus desperately parted them. His mouth, Tallahassee noted, tasted strongly of blood, thick and coppery metallic. He traced the raw and bleeding wounds with the tip of his tongue, disproving of their origin. If the probing ministrations made the bite marks ache, it didn't show by Ohio. He clung to his partner with renewed desperation, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him closer.

From the door leading into the bathroom, Wichita watched the two of them kissing with a green flash of envy flashing behind her sky-colored eyes. Columbus had never kissed _her_ like that... They pulled each other close with a painful ferocity and Columbus's lip split open again, only this time from the pressure Tallahassee's lips put on his teeth and the fragile skin between. Wichita decided it was for the best. She wasn't all that in to getting herself hurt.

"I guess this means there won't be as many shooting lessons." Little Rock huffed. Wichita eyed her younger sister with a flicker of amusement. They were watching the two _males_ of their group make out, and her sister's immediate concern was no longer having the pooprtunity to perfect her headshot. The world's priorities had reay changed since Patient Zero showed up...

* * *

**A/N2:** Not too happy with this. Envy is just a little hard to catch on to without making one or more of the characters seem psychotic. I just thought it would be a nice little touch if they were all envious of each other for whatever reasons. Everytime I write Little Rock into a story, I love her more and more, just because she's so at home with craziness and she's so mature for her age. XD


	7. GLUTTONY

**_DISCLAIMER:_** Zombieland and the related characters do not belong in any way to me. I make no profit from this story. It's a writing exercize to experiment with/develop new techniques. I also don't own Twinkies or the Hostess company.

**A/N:** GLUTTONY. Sin 2/7. This is kinda fluffy, almost crackfic. Hostess has single-handedly ruined Columbus's sex life. ;)

**Ninny-na:** I almost continued that last chapter and made the situation awkward with Wichita now being jealous of Tallahassee, but I decided ending it with a smart-ass comment from Little Rock would be better. :3

**luuluulove:** Sorry about the Adderol mix-up. A lot of college kids buy the ADD/ADHD mecidation Adderol illegally and snort it to help them stay awake for late-night cram sessions. I really meant to include a footnote, but I'm really scatterbrained. -_-' Same goes for-spell check. I was writing late at night with my dad yelling that I needed to get out of the basement at two in the morning. The argument between Columbus and Wichita was more of something to push Tallahassee to confront Columubs. But I agree. Who the fuck would want to leave Tallahassee? I chew on the inside of my mouth too. It sucks. I had braces for three and a half years and that made it all the worse because then the brackets would hit the sores and... ouch. XP

**Moon Ecstasy:** Awh. Thanks. /blush

**AbigailBreslinRocks13:** I really think that, in order of favorite characters, it's like Tallahassee, and then fifteen points behind is Columbus, and 0.00001 points behind that is Little Rock, and about 350 points later is Wichita. XD I adore Little Rock. :3

* * *

While not exactly a health freak, Columbus had learned that moderation was key, especially given how likely it was that you'd have to run from a zombie after eating that entire box of Snicker's. Moderation was something Tallahassee didn't seem burdened with.

Two months had passed since the incident at Pacific Playland. In those to months, they had raided several convenience stores and a few grocery stores. But more importantly, at least to Tallahassee, they had discovered Twinkies. There were at least a half dozen boxes of them in the trunk, nestled amongst cans of fruit and vegetables and boxes of crackers and cereal and bottles of Gatorade and water.

The sharp crackle of plastic filled the Hummer and Columbus rolled his eyes. Two weeks ago, there had been a dozen boxes of Twinkies. Tallahassee was at it again; he was back to eating the Twinkies by the armload. Columbus had initially thought Tallahassee's problem was that he'd gone so long without the cream-filled sponge cake. Then he realized it was just some sort of weird obsession; an over-processed, sugary, gluttonous obsession.

"Still eating those things?" Little Rock wrinkled her nose. Tallahassee rolled his eyes and muttereed something under his breath.

"We should stop somewhere. We've been cooped up for _way_ too long." Wichita yawned. Everyone agreed and Tallahassee leaned close to the dash, his eyes flicking over the various blue and green signs dotting the roadside.

"I think I've found our next stop." He smiled.

They wound up in a sprawling park area, a wide open field with tennis and basketball courts, a jogging trail, a large, murky retention pond that could almost pass for a crappy lake, several covered gazebos, and worn wooden picnic tables dotting the landscape.

Columbus was perched on the top of one of the picnic tables, Tallahassee sitting on the seat nearby, carving something into the wood. Wichita and Little Rock were running in the field, making daisy chains just because it was something so normal it was strange and the sudden uncharacteristic innocence was such a welcome change from the need to survive in a world so fucked up hell couldn't compare. Balanced on Ohio's knees was a lime-green and white flecked composition notebook, a black ball-point pen in the fingers of his right hand, the back bouncing pointlessly against his lips. He stopped with a sigh and put the pen to paper.

_"6 March 2010,"_ A shriek from the field called Columbus's attention away from his journal, but he smiled when he realized it was only Wichita mercilessly tickling her sister.

_"I'm starting to think that Hostess should have gone out of business about thirty years ago. As much as I love Tallahassee, I'm sick and fucking tired of him tasting like goddamn Twinkies. It's like the inside of his mouth is permanently tainted with the taste of artificial sweeteners that are sure to kill him one day. I'm not going to ask him to stop eating the Twinkies because it clearly makes him happy, but I'm starting to wonder how long it's going to be before he notices I'm not a huge fan of kissing him when he tastes like sodium acid pyrophosphate and sodium stearol lactylate(1)_. _Maybe never. Who the fuck knows? Maybe I'm just going to have to wait another month, wait until he runs out of Twinkies and hope there's not another goddamn box for miles."_

A crackle interrupted Columbus's thoughts and he nearly groaned in blatant irritating irony of the scenario. Here he was, trying to write through serious sexual frustration about how a fucking _snack food_ was ruining his (sex) life, and his lover was sitting on the bench, opening another one.

_"Some part of me, the rational part, knows Tallahassee's better off never seeing this journall. That part of me knows it would only give him proof that I'm a bitch and prove that I'm emotionally unstable and in desperate need of a good fucking, but... There _is_ an irrational side of me that's praying he gets curious later today, prays that he reaches under the seat and decides to see what I've been writing this whole time. Maybe then he'd give up the fucking Twinkie hunt, at least until I can forget the way they taste, until I can forget the way they taste on his lips... God I wish I could kiss him and taste something other than that goddamn Hostess bullshit."_

"I think we've been out here long enough. If we get back on the road, we should be coming across a housing development with a running water and electric. We could all use a good shower." Tallahassee sighed.

The girls grinned and ran up twoards the to male members of their group, bearing braided stems of dandilions and whatever else they could latch on to that flowered. Tallahassee smiled back at them and everyone piled into the car. It as a moment that was celebrated with the opening of another Twinkie, in Tallahassee's case.

The housing development was just as Tallahassee had said. Everyone was rewarded with a decent shower and they raided a local clothing store for clothes that weren't stained with the gore of the infected.

"He's gonna end up gaining so much weight." Wichita laughed as Tallahassee set up a small fort of Twinkies near the couch he was sitting on. The other three were in the kitchen, glad to be able to heat up their canned food for a change.

"More like he's gonna end up a diabetic." Little Rock chuckled.

"More like I'm gonna end up dying of sexual frustration." Columbus muttered morosely.

"Too much information." Wichita said, making a face. She was soon right back to laughing with her sister and Columbus sat forgotten on the counter in the kitchen. He stared at the white tile floor and wondered if the grout between the tiles was _supposed_ to be off-white, or if it had just dulled with age...

"What are you in here looking all broody for, spit-fuck?" Tallahassee asked, raiding the liquor cabinet they'd discovered.

"You haven't stopped stuffing your face with those fucking faux creme-filled sponge cake disasters since we found them." Columbus pouted.

Tallahassee lowered the whiskey bottle he'd been drinking from with an odd look in his eyes.

"What does my love of Twinkies, which happen to be the greatest processed food known to man, have to do with you being moody?" Tallahassee demanded.

Columbus waited until Florida had another mouthful of alcohol before he dropped from the counter and pressed their lips together. The tingling burn of the alcohol was a welcome change from the grit of whatever made up Twinkie filling. Columbus soon had the counter's edge pressing in a painful line in his lower back and Tallahassee's rough hands passing under his shirt and edging towards the waistline of his pants.

"I'm tired of tasting them." Columbus panted several seconds later. It took Tallahassee a few moments to realize Ohio was finally answering his question.

"You tellin' me to stop?" Tallahassee asked.

"Slow down?" Columbus suggested.

"I'll think about it."

* * *

(1): I did some research on Twinkie ingredients, and those are, in fact, two of the ingredients. I'm not entirely sure what they are or what they do to the Twinkie or why they're included, but they sounded gross and seemed to fit Columbus's new-found disgust for them.


	8. GREED

**A/N:** You'd think that with the world caught in a shit-storm, GREED would be non-existant. Trust Tallahassee to find a way...

**Ninny-na:** Of course he'll slow down for Collie!! Mostly because he's a bit of a bitch and likes to whine, something that bothers Tally. XD

**AbigailBreslinRocks13:** I'm glad you like the stories so much.

**luuluulove:** Wow... Your review definitely made me feel awesome. /blush. I just had Columbus's smart-assed commentary playing in the back of my head and tried to keep in mind his neuroticisms and how he was slightly disenchanted with everything.

**LadyV.2102:** CROSS-FANDOM STALKER!!! Anyway, I'm glad you like the collection so far.

**seventhSINwrath:** I'm really, really glad you like these oneshots... Wait until we get to your "namesake". WRATH is going to be particularly interesting... ;D

* * *

It's hard to be greedy in Z-land, seeing as how survival is suddenly your only concern. You're not worried about money because no one is around to trade it for something you want. You only wear designer clothes because you never got a chance to before the world ended and all your old clothes are covered in zombie blood. But Tallahassee was certainly greedy. It may have been childish, but Tallahassee wasn't a huge fan of sharing what little bit of good he'd managed to find and hold on to.

Columbus may have been oblivious, but even _he _noticed a change in "team" dynamic after the Pacific Playland incident and several incidents following. When they split up to clear a house or other building, Columbus was never paired with Wichita or Little Rock. It was always Tallahassee. No exceptions. Columbus was a bit nervous about the two girls being alone, but Tallahassee pointed out that Columbus was the only one in their group that needed any sort of protecting.

As much as he hated to admit it, Tallahassee was right. He was a paranoid pacifist before the outbreak, and it was just as bad, if not worse, afterwards. He needed help surviving. The only damage he'd ever _really_ managed was killing Bill Murray, something he _still_regretted. It was something Ohio understood. If anyone could protect anyone from anything, Tallahassee was the man for the job. He was the type of guy who could kill an entire room full of zombies with a foam block and a snowglobe, which meant he was probably the only person on the planet who could ever manage to keep Columbus safe.

What no one really realized was that it was more than just Columbus's safety on the line. It was also Tallahassee's territorial streak rearing its ugly head. He didn't like Wichita; her trust issues would only cause problems for all of them. He wanted to keep Ohio as far from that bitch as physically possible. He wasn't about to let her dig her claws into the kid. He didn't deserve that kind of fate. It was the cruelest kind.

"Hey, Columbus, wanna raid the 7-11 down the road?" Little Rock asked. She was in dire need of some more gum to chew.

"No. The spit-fuck is going to help me fix this damn generator. A little grease never killed anyone, but it's likely to ruin his manicure." Tallahassee muttered. Columbus just rolled his eyes at the comment. It was nothing new. He was always being made fun of, especially by Tallahassee.

With a sigh, Columbus follwed Tallahassee to the weed-choked backyard of the house they were occupying where the generator seemed to be having problems. Columbus prayed it was something as simple as being out of gas. Of course it wasn't. He ended up dragging a fifty-poud toolbox from a nearby shed and he leaned impatiently against the side of the house while Tallahassee tried to figure out just what was wrong with the machine.

"Ohio, my sister wants to know if you're interested in hitting the library." Wichita smiled as she watched the men work.

"Take her yourself. Bring the kid something back about computers or something. I'm sure that would have him overjoyed." Tallahassee muttered dryly.

"Jesus Christ, what the hell is your problem?" Wichita demanded.

"You see us in the middle of something, and you want him to run off and do something that doesn't make a difference." Tallahassee looked up at her and the girl rolled her eyes and stormed off.

"You don't have to be that mean, you know." Columbus murmured.

"Shut up and hand me a wrench."

Things didn't get better as the night progressed. When they settled in to eat dinner in the living room, Columbus dropped on to a plush couch and made himself comfortable. Tallahassee soon dropped into the seat next to him, leaving Little Rock and Wichita to sit on the other chairs in the room. That was when Ohio started wondering if it was intentional.

"You can't just keep him all for yourself." Wichita snarled. Columbus hadn't been feeling too well after dinner and had fallen asleep on the couch fairly quickly. Tallahassee had wasted no time in taking him to one of the bedrooms in the back. Little Rock was alreayd tired, so that left Tallahassee and Wichita to take first watch.

"What the fuck are you talkin' about?" Tallahassee asked. He knew she wouldn't fall for the innocent act, but it was a natural response.

"Don't you play that game with me. What, you think you're the only one that won't let him die?"

"Don't even start with that bullshit." Tallahassee hissed.

"Did I hit a nerve? Good. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you but--"

Tallahassee turned on Wichita and shoved her, sending her sprawling on to the couch.

"Listen to me, 'cause I'm only gonna say it once; Shut up and leave it be." Tallahassee ordered. He turned away from her and walked to the window, anxiously peering through the curtains, half-hoping there would be something out there for him to shoot.

"You aren't the only one that wants to spend time with him." Wichita said bitterly from the couch. Tallahassee ignored her. If he got worked up now, things would rapidly deteriorate.

"You're just fucking smothering him, keeping him to yourself like a kid that doesn't want to share. You can't just smother someone like that and expect them to stay with you willingly." Wichita continued and Tallahassee turned to her, his grip around the rifle in his hands tightening.

"Just because you think so, doesn't mean the world revolves around you and what you want." She ended her tirade bitterly and Tallahassee was silent for a long moment.

"I think I've _earned_ the right to be as greedy as I choose. The last time I decided greed was a bad thing, I let B... I let Buck's birth mother take him for a weekend because she missed him. Then the infection started and when I got to her apartment... Columbus is _mine, _and I'll be damned if I let him out of my sight for any longer than necessary. You don't share what you love because it only hurts you in the end." Tallahassee said acridly.

There was a noise from the door leading to the hallway and Tallahassee and Wichita both jumped. Little Rock was standing in the doorway, playing with the hem of her shirt.

"C-Columbus has a fever and he's shaking and talking in his sleep." Little Rock said nervously.

"I'll get him an aspirin." Wichita sighed.

"The hell you will. You're going to stay on watch with your sister." Florida ordered. Wichita slowly sat back down on the couch.

Tallahassee disappeared into the back of the house and grabbed the Tylenol bottle from the sink. As he forced the pills down the delirious Ohio's throat, he recalled the hurt look he'd seen in Wichita's eyes, as if he didn't trust her to take care of Columbus. It was the truth. The only way to make sure something got done right was to do it yourself. He ran a dirt-coated hand through Columbus's sweat-matted hair and smiled at him when his eyes opened.

"You're upset." Columbus murmured thickly.

"Jus' thinkin'." Tallahassee whispered.

"I'm sick, not stupid." Columbus smiled. Tallahassee leaned forward and rested his forehead against Ohio's. His hands cupped the younger man's face and he smiled in return, though it looked pained.

"I want you to promise somethin' to me, Jaymes." Tallahassee whispered. Columbus's smile faltered and faded. They'd exchanged names in secret one night, at Tallahassee's curious insistence, and they hadn't been used since. "Jaymes" was a lost cause of a college student who had since disappeared in the wake of the infection, just as "Keith" was just a lost cause mechanic who'd been lost to the horrors of Zombieland (1).

"Wh-What do you want me want me to promise?"

"I want you to promise me that you won't trust anyone but me when it comes down to it." Tallahassee whispered.

"I promise."

"I don't want you out of my sight."

"Okay." Columbus agreed. He nodded slightly as he spoke and placed his too-hot hands on Tallahassee's stubble-lined face.

"I ain't gonna take any chances leavin' you with someone else." Tallahassee emphasized his point by kissing Columbus quickly. Columbus responded instantly, but the cool lips were soon gone from his feverish skin.

"You're _mine_." As if to emphasize his point, Tallahassee poked at a very prominent hickey on the side of Ohio's neck.

"I know." Columbus nodded, knowing that this would somehow help with whatever was bothering Florida.

"You're mine and I don't have to share." Tallahassee continued.

Columbus just nodded. There was so much hurt in those pale blue eyes...

"You're mine."

"I know. But... What... What's wrong?" Columbus asked.

"Just promise you won't hate me and you won't leave."

This was so uncharacteristic, it was moderately terrifying.

"No." Columbus whispered. The meaning was taken the wrong way and Tallahassee winced.

"I couldn't hate you. Not ever. I won't leave." Columbus tried again with a shudder. God he was cold. Tallahassee's warm breath ghosted over his cheek and even that felt cold.

"I'm not going to lose you. I'm going to be a greedy sonuvabitch and I'm not letting you go anywhere without me." Tallahassee murmured.

Columbus nodded again and he tried to hide his shiver. Tallahassee frowned at the weak tremor and kicked his boots off before he crawled under the blankets and wrapped himself around Ohio. The college-student-turned-survivalist curled close to his greedy, possessive, emotionally damaged, warm, safe, familiar, comforting lover and shivered once more before he again drifted off to sleep.

The door creaked slightly as it opened. Columbus was curled up practically on top of Tallahassee, though the southerner didn't seem to care. Wichita smileed softly at the scene played out before her until she realized Florida's eyes were open, just narrowed and glaring in her direction. Her smile faded and she got the hint. She wasn't welcome.

"Little Rock is feeling kinda tired..." Wichita trailed off, her eyes landing on Ohio.

"So let her sleep. We're safe enough here. I don't plan on goin' to sleep any time soon. Not with him still burnin' up the way he is. I'll keep an ear on things."

"Are you sure you can do that from way back here?" Wichita challeneged.

"I ain't leavin' him alone, and I ain't leavin' 'im with _you_ either. I'm a greedy bastard and I know it. Now you can keep standin' there arguin' with me and risk waking the kid up, or you can shut up and fall asleep on the couch in the living room with a shotgun in your arms like you know you should."

Wichita grit her teeth and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. She muttered something to herself about "goddamn greedy hicks" and she double-checked their barricades and sat on the couch with a rifle in her hands. It was going to be one hell of a long night.

* * *

(1) Don't ask where the names came from. I just decided they fit somehow. I kind of like the idea that they look at themselves before the outbreak as people who don't really exist anymore; as people who "died" so they, as "cities", could exist. I dunno. Just one of my quirks. Reviews would be awesome. ;)


	9. LUST

**A/N:** There's no fluff to be found here. It's LUST and that's all there is to it.

**Ninny-na:** There's nothing cute about this chapter. XD

**luuluulove:** Awh, thanks. /blush. And I have this theory that while I would definitely survive the zombie apocalypse, it would be as _me_, it would be as a different _kind_ of me... I dunno... I think I'm saying that we're agreeing with each other. I don't know. I don't sleep much anymore. XD Glad I'm your happy pill. And don't worry, I have _plenty_ of ideas to keep this going, and keep making you happy... There are a few coming up that are inspired by the crush I have on this guy, whom I call "Obscurity", that's usually my shift manager on nights that I work.

**Ravenclaw Samurai:** Of course Tally's a bastard. That's why we love him. And I'm glad it worked out as well as it did. I was worried about it being too bitter...

**AbigailBreslinRocks13: **Tallahassee will always be possessive. That's his job. :D

**Tubular Fox:** Tada! Delivered, as promised.

**LaylaBinx:** I'm glad you liked it. I agree, the hurt/comfort is usually the most adorable.

**LadyV.2102:** Next chapter. :D

**kittit24:** Yeah. I don't want to say I hate Wichita, but I kinda hate Wichita. o.o Little Rock on the other hand is totally cool with me. :3

**Cooper Sterling:** Dun-dun-duuuuun!!! Lust. Three more sins and then we can move on to a topic I've been dying to write.... Mwahaha...

**Gooooodpie:** Don't worry about taking forever to review. I'm like that some times. I lied. I'm like that most of the time. XD I'm glad you liked them, and don't worry about the procrastination thing. I read your stories instead of writing my own too. XD

**Taisi:** Hell yes. New world, new man. :d

* * *

The list of rules hadf been devised by Columbus alone, numbers one through thirty-one. 32 and 33 had been creations courtesey of Tallahassee. "Enjoy the little things" and "Never pass up a 'creative' outlet for your stress", respectively.

"Will you just hurry the fuck _up_?" Wichita snapped.

Columbus sighed and continued to ignore her. He wasn't about to pass up this opportunity. Tallahassee's birthday was soon and he was going to get the grumpy son of a bitch a present if it killed him, and it seemed Wichita would.

"Come the fuck on, Columbus. It's not fucking rocket science." Wichita continued.

"Shut up!" Columbus yelled, a little surprised at himself, but it didn't stop him, "If you're that worried about getting a hot shower, then go. I don't need you screaming at me right now." He muttered.

"From now on, you can watch your own goddamn back." She huffed.

Columbus listened to her retreating footsteps for a few seconds before he continued wandering idly through the outdoor supply shop. He knew Tallahassee liked knives; well, anything that would get him up close and dirty really. Columbus was looking for one to add to the man's collection. It was just a little gesture that would probably be forgotten sooner or later, but Columbus didn't really care. He'd never had much in the way of birthdays; He didn't have many friends and his parents were so disconnected from everything, they had no idea what kids liked, so he was usually just handed a twenty and told to buy what made him happy. He hated that feeling and he was too much of a "soggy little emotional spit-fuck" to let someone else experience that. He found what he was looking for and he smashed the glass display case with the butt of his shotgun and reached after his prize.

But Columbus's attention wasn't the only one enraptured by the contents of the case. His employee tag named him "RICK" and he was staring at at the tasty meal that was gleaming so beautifully in the flourescent lights. He lurched forward on shattered legs, determined to eat tonight. He slammed into Columbus and sent the boy to the ground. Colubmus looked up and saw the flesh-hungry eyes and blood-soaked lips. He used his rifle as leverage, holding the zombie away from him. There was no room for him to try and re-angle the weapon and try to get a shot off. He needed a weapon and fast. There was a faint glimmer thrown from the knife he'd picked out as Tallahassee's present and he knew that was his only chance. It seemed to be just within reach... He used his right arm to support the pressing weight of the zombie, while his left arm shot out and reached for the knife. His fingers just brushed the blade and it did nothing more than tip in his direction. He whimpered in desperation as something wet dripped onto his cheek. If the zombie was close enough to drool, it was nearly close enough to bite. He ignored the knife in favor of gripping the gun with both hands, his arms shaking from the exertion. The zombie pressed ever closer and Columbus felt his elbows bend and he could smell the putrid stench of rotted flesh coming from the zombie's gaping maw. He pushed upwards with adrenaline-fueled strength and the zombie snapped away from him for the slightest fraction of a second, but Colubmus used the opportunity to pull the trigger and land a swirl of buckshot in the cannibal's chest. He crawled over to Tallahassee's gift and whipped around as he heard a blood-chilling gurgle. He turned in time for "RICK" to slam into him again. Columbus buried the blade up to the handle in the zombie's skull, but not before he felt those broken teeth scrape over the skin on his neck, pressing just hard enough for him to feel them. He shoved the dead corpse away from him and leaned against the display case and shook for a few seconds. With a sharp tug and a wet _squelch_, he wrenched the knife from the infected gray matter of the cannibal's corpse.

He stumbled outside, still feeling those disgusting teeth touching his skin. The Cadillac had moved about a half a block down the main street in the tiny town they'd stopped in, moved down to some little mom-and-pop store to be loaded with whatever supplies they needed that hadn't yet gone bad. The sky had turned a blue-tinted gray and the sun had disappeared behing the thick omnious clouds. As if matching Columbus's tempestuous mood, the skies opened up and a downpour began. His curly hair was quickly weighted down by the water and stuck to his face. He could feel his clothes pressing to his skin, could feel the cold seeping into his bones. He didn't care. He started walking towards the store, the knife handle clutched in a white-knuckle grip.

"There you are." Little Rock smiled at him as she threw a box of her favorite sugarless gum into the car. Columbus ignored her and stormed into the store. Wichita was leaning against the counter near the register, flipping through a few magazines. Columbus walked right up to her and drove the tip of the knife blade into the rough-cut wood of the old counter, drove it right through the sleeve of her favorite jacket, pinning her there.

"What the fuck?!" She yelled, tugging at the knife.

"You are such a selfish bitch." He hissed. The tugging stopped for a fraction of a second and she regarded him with bewliderment in her cold blue eyes.

"What do you mean by that?" She demanded.

"You know exactly what I mean. You didn't clear the goddamn store, and you fucking know it. I almost got eaten because you were more concerned with getting a shower for yourself than anything else. Congrats, Krista(1). You left me high and fucking dry and it almost killed me." Columbus seethed.

"What's going on here?" Tallahassee asked with a raised eyebrow.

Columbus didn't take his eyes off Wichita as he easily pulled the knife from the counter. He turned from her and have the blade to Florida.

"Happy birthday." Columbus said with as much cheer as he could manage. He stormed out of the store and Tallahassee followed.

"What happened?" Tallahassee asked him. Columbus didn't answer, just kept walking. Tallahassee grabbed one of Columbus's shoulders and spun the former college student around so they were facing each other.

"What happened?" Tallahassee demanded.

"I... I went in there to get you something for your birthday and I asked Wichita to cover me. She whined about my "stupid sentimental escapade" delaying her first hot shower in days. And she just kept going on and on and on and it pissed me off and we yelled at one another and she left. And then I nearly got eaten and she's in there pretending she did nothing wrong!" Columbus yelled.

"Wait here." Tallahassee said lowly.

"Go ahead. I'm used to being left on my own."

Tallahassee either didn't hear or just didn't acknowledge the statement. Columbus watched the southerner storm back across the street and towards the store. He threw a set of keys at Wichita and told her to go find and clear a house with Little Rock. She looked down at the keys and said something and Tallahassee pointed at a little black Honda Civic and motioned for her to get going. She snarled something at him, and he just turned away. Wichita grabbed her sister and drug her over to the Honda. The car started and pulled out of the parking lot. Columbus was pretty damn sure he saw her flicking them off through the tinted windows. He didn't rightly care. Tallahassee stormed back over to him and drug him to the Cadillac and shoved him into the backseat. Columbus occupied one side, and Tallahassee the other. For a moment neither of them spoke and there was no noise beyond the slight clicking of Columbus's teeth as his body reacted to a chill he didn't consciously register.

"That was pretty low what she did." Tallahassee said slowly.

"Really? See I thought it was perfectly normal for her to put her personal comfort over someone else's safety." Columbus said bitterly.

"And I would have done a hell of a lot more than scream at her." Tallahassee continued as if he hadn't been interrupted.

Columbus's dark green eyes(2) scanned Tallahassee's face and scrutinized his tone for several long seconds before he turned away and stared out the window. He shivered violently and was suddenly aware of just how cold the storm had made him.

"We should get you into something dry." Tallahassee sighed.

"I don't want to fucking go anywhere near that bitch." Columbus growled.

"I can't blame you. But you either get warmed up, or you're going to end up sick, and I sure as hell ain't wipin' your nose." Tallahassee muttered.

Columbus turned to face Tallahassee and he lunged forward, fueled by his sudden fear of actually fucking dying, his anger at Wichita, and the urge to do _something_ that wouldn't remind him of either. He pressed his lips to Florida's and wasn't surprised when he was pushed back to his own side, back coming in contact with the door and feeling something digging into his back. He was a little surprised when Tallahassee's lips were still connected to his own. He felt rough hands tugging at the buttons on his wet shirt and he shivered as cool air swept over his already chilled skin. Tallahassee's warm mouth descended on his neck and chest and he moaned and arched as a hot tongue swirled around one of his nipples. Tallahassee's tongue ventured lower and Columbus was grateful for the mind-blanking sparks that were being thrown over his over-worked mind.

Tallahassee pushed the open shirt from Columbus's shoulders and returned to making the younger man wail and moan. Columbus grabbed fistfuls of Tallahassee's shirt and pulled him up for another lip-bruising kiss. He pushed his hips into Tallahassee's right as Florida's tongue entered his mouth and the meaning was conveyed without the use of words. A slithering, primal voice whispered _"Rule thirty-three"_ in the back of Tallahassee's head and he smiled down at Ohio. He reached around the younger man and pulled on the handle to the Cadillac door. Columbus fell backwards with a gasp, just managing to wrap his arms around Florida's neck before he could fall back too far. Tallahassee smirked down at him and Columbus scowled. Tallahassee sat up and ordered Columbus out of the car. Ohio was wary, but he complied nonetheless. Tallahassee followed him out and threw Columbus against one of the gas pupms before he kissed the younger man senseless.

It wasn't long before Columbus was pulled into the store and out of the rain. Tallahassee flicked the lock on the doors with unnecessary ferocity. Their position secured, Tallahassee continued dragging Columbus along, throwing him into the room marked "EMPLOYEES ONLY". Tallahassee stormed into the storefront proper and Columbus couldn't help but look around. There was a plastic chair next to a small table, a tiny sink with a microwave perched a little too close to the edge of the counter, and a pile of sleeping bags and other camping equipment in the corner. He was soon pushed backwards onto the sleeping bags and he "oofed" as the air was pushed from his lungs. Tallahassee kissed his neck again and he was given a new reason to be breathless. He felt fingertips slip below the waistband of his jeans and he gasped at how hot Tallahassee's hands felt. Columbus moaned and bucked his hips. He had gone from freezing in the rain to alight with ardent need in a time span so short it made him light-headed. He clawed at Tallahassee's shirt and forced the hem upwards, forced it up over his head. Tallahassee chuckled something about him being just a little too eager. Tallahassee's teasing was only adding to his stockpile of frustration and that was the last thing he needed. This was supposed to be a release, not a replay. Tallahassee eventually relented and removed the rest of their clothes.

Florida sat up for a second and unscrewed the lid to a small tube of lubricant and Columbus was suddenly confused.

"Where the fuck did that come from?" He demanded.

"I went back out into the store for a reason, spit-fuck." Tallahassee rolled his eyes and Columbus suddenly wondered just how much time he'd spent "admiring" the "decor" of the break room while Tallahassee was perusing the aisles. Columbus didn't have much time to contemplate as the sudden intrusion of a finger made him hiss in surprise and discomfort. Tallahassee muttered something along the lines of things being easier if he would just fucking relax, and Columbus tried his hardest to relax. The entrance of a second finger made Columbus twist awkwardly and whimper at the strange sensation. Tallahassee murmured things that were just barely heard over the sound of the tempest wreaking havoc on the oustide world, but they served their purpose in forcing Columbus to relax some. Tallahassee moved his fingers with a serching intensity. Columbus arched with a wordless scream and Tallahassee knew that his search was over.

"Holy shit." Columbus gasped.

Tallahassee regarded him with a smirk that turned into a grin when Columbus demanded he do it again. For once, Tallahassee did as he was told and moved his fingers just so... Columbus saw a flash of white overtake his vision, and he was pretty damn sure it wasn't a lightning strike that caused it.

"You ready?" Tallahassee asked.

Columbus nodded and shuddered as the fingers retreated.

"Once we start this, there ain't no goin' back." Tallahassee warned. Columbus grabbed the back of Florida's neck and pulled him down for a kiss. He couldn't think well enough to form a sentence, and he was damn glad for that. If he'd been coherent, he would have continued dwelling on his argument with Wichita and how he'd nearly died. As it stood, he was just there to ride out the next wave of pleasure. Everything blanked and he felt a strange wash of pain and pleasure and discomfort and something else. He had to stop thinking in situations like this; he was too often surprised by things he should've seen coming. Tallahassee paused for a moment and gave the kid a chance to get used to what was happening. But he knew he couldn't wait forever. He was just as pissed at Wichita as Columbus was, and they both needed to find away to destress before they ended up short a survivor or two.

Tallahassee remembered how he'd moved to make Columbus's vision spark around the edges and he replicated that motion with his hips, forcing a strangled moan from the younger man. Columbus clug to Tallahassee, clung to anything that would keep him anchored in this metaphorical storm. His mind was blissfully blank and he pulled Tallahassee closer to himself, biting the hick's earlobe and whimpering loudly. Tallahassee took the hint and picked up the pace. There was nothing but a tempestuous whirlwind of in and out and kiss and gasp and bite and moan and buck and scream. A rough hand pulled at Columbus's wet curls and he moaned desperately. There was something pressing at the back of his mind, something dark and primative and unnamable. He knew that it was beckoning him, pulling at him towards the center of the storm, pulled him to the eye-wall of the hurricane, pulled him to the most dangerous part, the one section he would never be able to escape unscathed.

"Ta-Tally, I'm gonna...I'm close." Columbus panted.

Tallahassee was apparently more deeply enslaved to his primal urge to just _fuck,_ because he didn't even grunt an answer or show that he'd heard. Columbus didn't get the chance to warn him again, because the dark waves pulled him under again and he was lost to the pressing closeness of his climax. There was just pleasure and the scalding heat rolling off of Tallahassee. He could feel a thick, syrupy warmth spreading slowly through his body and spreading slowly towards his limbs. It was almost like Florida could _smell_ the sudden change in Ohio's pleasure and his arm snaked between their bodies and his hand curled around the younger man's erection and began gently, almost teasingly, stroking him. Columbus mewled and arched and felt immesurable pleasure as he spilled his release between Tallahassee's fingers. The rhythmic contractions brought on by his partner's orgasm sent Tallahassee to his release soon after.

They separated and stared up at the ceiling for a few moments. Columbus listened to the exploding thunder outside that seemed to match up with Florida's rapidly beating heart. Tallahassee listened to the howl of the wind and the way it almost masked the sound of Ohio's labored breathing.

Columbus somehow managed to recover first. He grabbed his wet jeans and boxers and trudged outside, pushing open the door that led to the "smoke room". It was a seven-foot-by-nine-foot concrete area that was surrounded by an almost chest-high chain-link fence. He let the rainwater clean him off and he ran a hand through his hair. He felt calmer now. He was sure that he would probably have nightmares later, and he was sure Wichita was going to be pissed as all hell, but that didn't matter. He struggled back into his wet jeans, pulling the zipper up, but not bothering with trying to push the button through wet denim. He turned and saw Tallahassee, redressed and leaning against the doorway with a shotgun leaning against his shoulder.

"Feelin' better, spit-fuck?" Tallahassee asked, a knowing look in his steely blue eyes.

"Yeah." Columbus smiled.

"Ready to deal with the bitch?"

"Ready enough. Thanks for that, by the way."

"We're all stressed. I'm one step closer to the grave, and you're one step closer to a total mental melt-down. We both needed to blow off a little steam." Tallahassee shrugged.

Columbus smiled and shook his head. He grabbed his sneakers from the back room, pulled them on, and followed Tallahassee back to the Cadillac like a good little bitch. He smiled up at the storm clouds before he swung himself up into the seat. Status of Rule 33: UPHELD.

* * *

(1) I know the site spells it "Christa", but I love turning the subtitles on while watching a movie because there are often inconsistancies with what's said and what's scripted, and sometimes you don't quite hear what they say. The subtitles on the film spelled it "KRISTA", so that's what I put. ;3

(2) I know a lot of people seem enamored with giving Columbus big, brow eyes, but they're really a suuuuper dark green. o.o I know, right. I thought they didn't quite look brown, so I spent almost an hour looking up various pictures of the actor, and compiled enough information to confirm my doubts. They're actually green. Of course, I kinda think he'd still be adorable with brown eyes. :3


	10. PRIDE

**A/N:** I know I'm going to have a few people upset at me, so before you revv up the flamethrowers, **_THIS IS NOT A CHARACTER DEATH FIC._**

**AbigailBreslinRocks13:** I have a few more scenes where Columbus gets mad... :3

**kittit24:** Wichita will be continually punished. I don't really like her. :D And I'm glad you liked the chapter.

**Gooooodpie:** D'awh. Thanks for that. Here's what I managed to scrape together.

**LadyV.2102:** Thanks for that. But I haven't really decided on what song is Talumbus's song, but I can see where you got "Bad Romance"...

**Taisi:** Your friend is right about the 3-D sequel. I read something about it on AOL's Moviefone. :3 And I disliked Wichita _before_ I got into serious Talumbus shipping, so I know what you mean.

**Ninny-na:** Go Tally, indeed.

**luuluulove:** Yes, I have a feeling angry Columbus was sexy to Tallahassee as well. I'm glad you liked that chapter.

* * *

He never put much stock in the waxing poetic bullshit of "you always hurt the ones you love". Tallahassee thought it was a mountainous, heaping, mile-high _Leaning Tower_ de Bullshit. But sometimes that tower of bullshit started leaning towards you and you couldn't get out in time and it fell right smack on top of you.

Tallahassee ran his fingers through Columbus's hair and sighed almost silently. He'd managed to get out of the way. Columbus hadn't.

The kid had never liked hospitals, but Little Rock was sick and they needed access to drug handbooks and an extensive pharmacy. So Columbus had decided it was time to nut up and clear the hospital to help Rocky. (1)

Guns were too easy to use when it came to killing zombies; or at least that was Tallahassee's mind-set. You weren't going to get Zombie Kill of the Week by using a sawed-off shotgun. You had to do with with something creative, like a lawnmower...(2) He'd found a bone saw in the morgue and set his hopes on using that until Columbus pointed out that it needed to be plugged in to work. So Florida had scrapped that idea and settled on using a crowbar he'd found.

"Nothin' like a little melee in the mornin'." Tallahassee grinned. Columbus just smiled nervously and checked again to make sure his gun was loaded.

Wichita had locked herself and her sister in the pharmacy on the lower floor with a drug handbook, thankful the hospital computers were still online so she could get to WebMD so she could try to figure out how to help Little Rock. That left the overly-cautious Columbus and the not-cautious-enough Tallahassee to clear out the rest of the hospital and do whatever else it was they wanted to do.

"Hey, lets see if there are any on the roof. Maybe we could push 'em off." Tallahassee grinned.

"I'd rather not go anywhere near the roof."

Tallahassee rolled his eyes and called Columbus a pussy. It was their usual banter. Tallahassee would call something "fun" and Columbus would call it "suicidal". There was a screeching gurgle coming from around a corner and Tallahassee's blue eyes gleamed with a possessed kind of joy. He pulled a pair of scissors, a screwdriver, and a stapler from his back pocket and headed towards the sound. Columbus followed him closely, shotgun held at the ready. Unfortunately, Tallahassee turned the corner quicker than Columbus, and by the time Ohio finally found him, the fight was already over. The zombie had a pair of scissors protruding from one of its ears, the stapler was wedged, staple side first, into its mouth, and the screwdriver was jutting proudly from the back of its head.

"Zombie kill of the week and you missed it." Tallahassee sighed.

Columbus muttered something under his breath and started pushing the privacy curtains aside. He knew it made him seem like a paranoid bitch, but he wasn't so concerned with looking cool that he didn't check his corners and completely clear out a room. Tallahassee began rifling through various cabinets and carts and grinned when he lifted a pair of shock paddles. He wasn't convinced they'd actually kill zombies, but he was damn sure going to see what happened if you hit one of the fuckers with enough voltage. Columbus ignored his questions about how much voltage would kill a normal person when he heard it. There was clawing coming from the door of one of the private rooms. He swallowed nervously. These little fuckers knew how to operate doors, so it was only a matter of time. He took a few steps back and moved closer to Tallahassee, who'd similarly heard the noise. He stood there with a shit-eating grin and waited.

The door flew open and a middle-aged man wearing only a paper hospital gown lurched forward, running straight for Tallahassee, who held the defibrilation paddles infront of himself. Columbus ducked behind him and waited for the carnage to be over. The shock caused the muscles in the zombie's chest to convulse and it made his heart beat erratically. Tallahassee was determined to short-circuit the bastard. Columbus shifted nervously and watched Tallahassee have at it. Florida was damn-well fucking determined to shock the cannibal into oblivion.

"Tally, I'm sure he's dead." Columbus tried.

"I'm gonna fuckin' get Zombie Kill of the Week this week. Now don't you interrupt." Tallahassee growled.

"Tally, we really should finish clearing this floor."

"Then start fucking clearing."

Columbus rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in frustration. He stalked out of the hallway they were in and started clearing out the rooms, cringing at how shockingly revolting the browned infected blood looked against the stark white tiles and vomit-green walls. He pushed a door open and he was jumped by a cannibal freak. He managed to get a quick shot off, ripping a hole in his target's chest. The zombie kept coming and Columbus scrambled backwards, pulling the trigger again, this time removing a vast portion of the creature's brain and skull. The sound got the attention of several more zombies down the hall.

"Tallahassee!" Columbus yelled, trying to reload as quickly as he could.

"What?" Tallahassee demanded.

"Help!" Columbus screamed, not caring if he looked like a bitch. He dropped a few shells, but managed to force two into his gun. He snapped the barrels back into place and pulled the trigger. One of the zombies stumbled forward after it was shot and Columbus leapt backwards to try and keep the corpse from crushing him. His sneaker hit blood and not tile like he expected and for a single moment, he felt weightless. What were the fucking odds? A puddle of blood not even three inches across, and he'd slipped in it. Then gravity caught up with him and he was sent reeling backwards. His head hit the tile with a sickening wet crack. He choked on a pained cry. It simply hurt too much to scream. He felt like he was disconnected and wading through Jell-O as he tried to crawl to his feet. His elbows and knees gave out and there were black spots dancing in front of his eyes. The snarls of the infected sounded muffled, like he had cotton in his ears. There was a faint yell in a familiar southern drawl from somewhere behind him, but Columbus couldn't make himself turn to look that way. It was too hard.

Tallahassee ran forward with a baseball bat and took out one of the three zombies that were attempting to descend on Columbus. The second one begain to fall towards Ohio and it went flying backwards with a sharp crack. The third one he beat and beat and beat until the creature's head was a pulpy mess.

"Collie?" Tallahassee panted, turning to the college student. (3)

Columbus lay in a crumpled heap on the floor, blood pooling under his dark, curly hair. Tallahassee fell to his knees and scooped Columbus up into his arms, searching for a reaction.

"Columbus. Hey, kid. Open yer fuckin' eyes." Tallahassee ordered. Columbus's head lolled lifelessly to one side and Tallahassee grabbed Ohio's pale face in one of his hands and ordered him to wake up.

Tallahassee's rough hands moved gently through Ohio's hair. He blanched when his fingers came away sticky and red-tinged with blood. He stood up and held Columbus close to his chest. He ran through the halls and down the stairs. He knocked hard against the pharmacy doors and screamed that Wichita needed to hurry up and open the goddamned door. There was a click from the lock and the door swung open.

"What... Oh God... Tallahassee, what did you do?" She demanded, motioning to Columbus.

"Now isn't the time. Lock the door behind us." Tallahassee ordered.

Wichita did as she was told. Tallahassee gently put Columbus on the floor and pushed dark curls out of the way, searching for the wound he knew was there.

"Wichita, get the suture kit."

He didn't like doing this... He'd rather they have a _real_ doctor do it. But they didn't have one that wasn't more interested in eating Columbus's brains instead of making sure they stayed where they belonged.

"We gotta check him for a concussion." Little Rock sighed weakly from the corner.

Wichita nodded and grabbed a penlight(4). She clicked it on, lifted one of Ohio's eyelids and shone the light into it. The pupil contracted. She repeated this with the second eye before she clicked the light off.

"It looks like he's okay, but I'm not a doctor." Wichita frowned.

"Keep looking for your sister's medicine." Tallahassee said softly.

He sat with his back against the wall and pulled Columbus into his lap. Ohio's forehead rested in the crook of Florida's shoulder and Tallahassee stroked his hair lovingly. Wichita went back to searching for Rocky's medication. She clearly wasn't supposed to see Tallahassee concerned or worried or upset and she was only in the room while it was happening because Tallahassee didn't want to risk moving Ohio any more than he already had.

He had to go after Zombie Kill of the Week, didn't he? If he hadn't been so goddamned worried about zapping that bastard into oblivion, he could have helped Columbus. He could have saved the kid. But his pride got in the way. He'd been beaten by a nun and that had hurt his pride. So now he had to do whatever it took, whatever he could, to get some semi-non-existant award... And now Columbus was in his arms, quite possibly half-dead, and it was all his fault.

Little Rock had been given medication and Wichita was out in the main hospital trying to break into a vending machine for something to eat when Columbus finally started to show signs of life. He shifted slightly and whimpered.

"Tally?" He asked.

"Yeah, kid?"

"My head hurts."

"I know. I'm sorry." Tallahassee sighed.

"Promise you'll never make me do that again?"

"I promise."

"Is there any aspirin around here?"

Tallahassee lifted a bottle and carefully popped the lid off. He pulled one of the pills out and pushed it between Columbus's lips and followed it with a bottle of Sprite he'd found. Columbus swallowed and cringed at the hot carbonated beverage.

"I'm sorry, Collie." Tallahassee whispered.

"That pill wasn't aspririn, was it?" Columbus sighed.

"Perkoset. But I'm sorry you got hurt, too."

"Pride before the fall. This time, literally." Columbus chuckled.

"It's not gonna happen again. I can't afford to lose you."

"You won't."

"Go back to sleep, kid."

_"Pride before the fall."_ Ohio's words echoed in his head. Tallahassee kissed Columbus's cheek and vowed to work on that.

* * *

**(1):** Yes, everyone but Wichita now has a nickname. I suppose we could always just call her "Witch"... XD

**(2):** Bonus points if you know what this is from...

**(3):** For some reason, when I wrote this, I had this image of Tally turning around and there's this cartoon zombie with half of Collie's head in his mouth and the zombie just looks up and says, "Fuck, man. Wrong movie. My bad." And then he walks off. XD

**(4):** This is basically a light that looks kinda like a pen. Simple enough, ne?


	11. SLOTH

**A/N:** So... This one isn't very good, but I'm trying to write it during a total shit storm. I'm writing a 20 page paper, working all the time, and breaking up with my boyfriend for the second time in two months. -.-' I'm also watching Moulin Rouge, so this almost ended a hell of a lot sadder than it did. I was contemplating making it a character near-death fic. o.o Anyway... Hope it's not too shitty.

**kittit24:** Well, I suppose that if you only use the flamethrower on the zombies it's okay... lol. Glad you liked it.

**Taisi:** Witchita breaking into a vending machine was loosely inspired by that scene in 28 Days Later where Cilian Murphy is raiding the Pepsi machine in the hospital. ;D

**Gooooodpie:** Lawnmower idea was from Dead Rising. The game wasn't that great, but it's got zombies in it, so I had to provide a shout-out to it. And I know what it's like to be backstage set crew. I was technically a minor character in our production last year and spent most of my time backstage and no one said a damn word of thanks when I kept the props set up and everything. :( And don't worry about long reviews. They make me feel special. :D

**KyoShomaLover:** No strange zombie babies. I promise that much, lol. Glad you likey.

**indigo_blue72:** I firmly believe that she should be called Bitchita. I don't like her. And she is definitely bitchy and self-centered enough to sink the Talumbus ship... Although I do enjoy the idea of her starting a fight to make them jealous... /evil laugh. Also, Here is update. I apologize for the lateness again.

**foxy-comic-death:** Heheh. I chose a hospital because they have those drug books in the hospital pharmacies, and not really at Walgreens. Besides, works better this way, ne? lol

**Ninny-na:** Tally will only learn after much effort and physical beatings. XD

**LadyV.2102:** There's an old Biblical saying that goes "Pride comes before the fall of man" or something like that. I was just making a bit of a pun saying that Tallahassee had been prideful just before Columbus fell and got hurt, lol. And don't worry about your song references. They're fine. I know what it's like. And I think Columbus is the only thing that can make Tallahassee worry. EVER. Haha.

**AbigailBreslinRocks13:** Here is more and Collie isn't half-dead this time. :D

**luuluulove:** Yes, fluff and bitchy-witchy... I like it. :D And I'm glad you liked the chapter so much.

**Surviving Insanity:** Yes, Silent Hill gave me a case of chill-bumps when I first watched it, lol. And I will continue writing forever and ever. :D

**creativeamber:** The seven deadly sins, in alphabetical order: Envy, Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Pride, Sloth, and Wrath. And don't worry about not knowing them. I had to do a lot of research to remember them all myself. XD

**Zbwoop:** Yes, it was Dead Rising. Though I have to admit I prefer Left 4 Dead. lol.

* * *

"You ever think we're getting too good at this?" Columbus asked, wiping gore away from his face.

"Watcha mean by that, spit-fuck?" Tallahassee didn't even look at the younger man as he attempted to dislodge a garden spade from the meaty shoulder of a particularly obese zombie for future use.

"I mean, we don't even think about what we're doing anymore. We know what we're going to do before we even _see_ them." Columbus protested.

"Still not seein' your point, Ohio." Tallahassee grunted as he wrenched the tiny shovel free.

"Let's take a break."

There was a nearly excruciating moment of silence that seemed to echo eternally through the grocery store.

"Take a break?"

"This place is clean. Or as clean as anywhere in Z-land can be. Let's just stock up, find a house, and hang out for a few days. It could be... nice." Columbus shrugged.

Tallahassee thought about it for a long moment.

"Eh. Might as well. 'Specially if it'll shut you up." Tallahassee smiled.

Columbus smiled at him in return and they walked out to the Cadillac. It had been six months since Little Rock had gotten sick and Wichita had accused them of being negligent and had taken her sister and left them. They were enjoying this new freedom of theirs, the sudden freedom that came with not worrying about an emotionally unstable woman and her slightly-clingy younger sister.

The windows were rolled down in Escalade and the CD player was turned off. The only sound was the humming of the engine and the whipping of the wind as it coursed through the cabin. Columbus glanced at Tallahassee from the corner of his eye and grinned when he noticed the zombie hunter looking back at him. Florida loved it when the windows were down and the rushing wind caught Collie's curls. It tossed his dark hair around and curled it towards and away from his face with careless ferocity.

"This looks like as good of a place as any." Tallahassee sighed.

Columbus looked out at the house. It was a cute little one story building, one with what was probably a well-manicured lawn before the outbreak and a well-used '89 Honda with a student parking permit stuck to the windshield in the driveway.

"Side door is unlocked." Columbus murmured. Tallahassee nodded and swung the door open. They searched through the inside of the house and found nothing. Whoever was there wasn't home when the outbreak happened... There was a massive supply of Ramen noodles hidden under the kitchen sink and Columbus's theories about it being the home of a college student were further enforced.

"You like this cheap Science Fiction shit, don't you?" Tallahassee asked from the living room. Columbus stuck his head around the corner and grinned when he saw a John Carpenter movie in those large hands.

"Yeah. You want Ramen? It'll be a nice change from all that Chef Boyardee we've been eating."

"Whatever you whip up is fine, spit-fuck."

Five and a half minutes later, Columbus was sitting next to Tallahassee on a slightly stained and faded couch with a bowl of Ramen in his lap. Tallahassee had re-locked all the doors and barricaded them as well, and was now trying to figure out how to make the DVD player work. When they finally got it to work, Tallahassee sat next to his partner and Columbus curled up against his side.

"That was one of the_ stupidest_ movies I've ever seen." Tallahassee grumbled.

"Why was it stupid?" Columbus pouted.

"Please. Pissed off martian spirits inhabiting miners? Fuck. If that'd been me, I woulda been on the first shuttle back to Earth."(1)

"Fine. You pick the next one then." Columbus huffed and cleared the dishes away, dropping them into the sink. He was surprised to find that the house was surprisingly clean, especially by college student standards. He rummaged around in the refrigerator and looked for something to drink. He arched an eyebrow when he discovered a bottle of white zinfandel wine in the back. His suspicions that at least one female roomed here were sounding more and more solid by the minute. The place was clean and there was _wine_ in the fridge? He shrugged and grabbed the bottle and the bottle of red behind it and rummaged around for a corkscrew. He opened both bottles and walked back into the living room where Tallahassee was starting a new movie.

"Wine? You are _such _a bitch." Tallahssee chuckled.

Columbus flicked him off half-heartedly and reclaimed his seat on the sofa. He raised the zinfandel to his lips and took a heavy pull. He rather liked the taste of wine... It was subtle and sweet, not like the heavy liquors Tally favored.

Columbus blamed the sweetness of the wine for its sudden disappearance. Both bottles were empty on their sides and resting on the carpeted floor before the movie was done. Columbus, being the lightweight he was, had a steady buzz and was leaning heavily on Tallahassee. The southerner didn't seem to notice or mind in the slightest. Collie was half-sleeping when Tallahassee put in another movie. The sun was beginning to set and he knew that he should be double-checking their defenses, but he couldn't pull himself away from the couch, away from Columbus. He instead started another movie and pulled Columbus closer to him once he sat back down. Unfortunately, he couldn't say if the movie was any good seeing as how he was asleep before the movie truly got started.

"Tally... Tally." Columbus hissed.

Tallahassee opened his eyes and groaned as he stretched. Sleeping on couches was a hell of a lot more uncomfortable than he remembered...

"Whatcha want, spit-fuck?" He asked.

"I wanted to know if you wanted breakfast. I found some Bisquick, so all we need is water. No need for eggs and milk and stuff that's gone bad already." Columbus shrugged.

"Pancakes sound nice."

"Good. 'Cause I got a little carried away and already made them." Columbus smiled sheepishly. Tallahassee grinned at him and sat up. Columbus presented him with pancakes layered with thick and gooey syrup. They enjoyed their breakfast while watching some musical Ohio had found and insisted on watching. Neither of them moved beyond changing the movies or occasionally going to the bathroom or making something to eat. They spent their time sitting together, watching movies, and doing as little else as possible.

They days stretched on and began running together and eventually, they stopped caring what day it was. They had no need to leave the house. The town was small and generally uninfected and they had brought plenty of supplies. They didn't even hear the moaning of the undead outside their windows at night.

The days ran together and became a week and a week became two. They had electricity, running water, running _hot_ water, and food enough. They had no reason to leave and nowhere to be.

They took up residence in one of the bedrooms and slept pressed close to each other and lazed in bed until they need to move overpowered them and they then moved into the living room for another long day of lounging and watching the almost painfully extensive movie collection.

"How long do you think we've been here?" Columbus asked with a yawn.

"Closer to two weeks than a day." Tallahassee shrugged and Columbus smiled. Tallahassee's grip around his spit-fuck's waist and kissed the top of Ohio's head. The soft curls brushed his face and he smiled again.

"I think we should raid the house next door." Columbus grinned.

"What for? Thought you wanted to lead a slower life." Tallahassee seemed confused.

"We're almost out of movies and I'm tired of chicken Ramen."

"Then what?"

"We come back here and watch more movies."

"I like the sound of that one, spit-fuck." Tallahassee kissed Ohio's neck with a soft smile.


	12. WRATH

**A/N: **WRATH, the last of the Seven Deadly sins. I feel the need to include the note that _**THERE WILL BE MORE CHAPTERS AFTER THIS!**_ I ran the sins across all of my other fandoms and it finished up in my Call of Duty fiction first and apparently people freaked out because they thought it was the end of the collection. This is just the end of a _prompt_. Kay. Just so we're on the same page. :3 I'm sorry this all took so long, but I seriously have 15 days of high school left and because of that I've been writing a term paper for the past month. -_-'

**Gooooodpie:** I'm glad the chapter turned out better than I thought it would. I'm always terrified that things are going to end up being shitty and make you guys hate me. T_T And if you ever need concept ideas, maybe I could help? I could always Beta Read for you if you'd like. :3

**Taisi:** I happen to love Ramen AND pancakes, so I have both in large quantities. :D

**Ninny:** Hehe. I kind of like the idea of Tally and Collie travelling the world all on their lonesome. ;D

**RoxasIsReal13:** I'm glad you liked it so much. :D

**shampoo147:** hehe, yes, Silent Hill was hella messed up. And the LawnMower idea was from Dead Rising. Ghosts of Mars was one of my favorite John Carpenter movies. Though, I was a little upset when they killed Jason Statham in the end. :(

**Chaotic Inverse:** Wow... Favorite of all time? Thanks! I have had an obsession with Zombies since I was in primary school, so I understand the paranoia. I'm the type of person to be laying in bed at night and finally get comfortable, but freak out because my foot is hanging off the bed and the last thing I want is for a zombie to grab me. o.O The film wasn't Avatar, it was an old John Carpenter film called "Ghosts of Mars". It's really a bit of a mindfuck, and pretty decent too. Don't worry about the rambling reviews. I love them. It gives me more to say than "Glad you liked it". And if you think _you_ have the strangest post-apocalyptic name, wait until I finally get my ass in gear and work on my full-length Z-Land fic. ;3

* * *

6 billion people on planet Earth. 5,999,999,999 of them will die. And by his hand. Gore streaks his clothing and he tosses a rake to the side. He has lost count of the _freaks_ he has killed. It doesn't matter. As long as they live and he does too, he will live to kill them.

The scene haunts him when he sleeps. Stark white walls, once pristine and clean, now mottled with browned blood and clumps of what can only be internal organs. She hovers over the motionless body, up to her elbows in intestines and gnawing on some sort of tendon. She turns at a noise in the doorway. It is the moan of a man whose world has collapsed around him and another dinner bell. He raises the skillet clutched in his numb hand and brings it down, again and again and again and again and again and again until there is nothing humanly recognizable. The skillet falls from his fingers and he stumbles over to the only corpse that matters. The blond hair is covered with blood, the clothes are torn, those big blue eyes frozen open in pain and horror and fear and terror...

That's when he wakes up and remembers why he still lives. He lives only to kill _everything_. He will live to wipe out the existance of those _things_ that killed his puppy (it hurts to much to think of his _son_). He awakes in a cold sweat, night after night, and reminds himself that there are still "zombies" out there to kill. He eats only when the hunger, the lack of nourishment, threatens to slow him down. And then he eats whatever is around, occasionally savoring a Twinkie (they were Buck's favorite... Back before the anger consumed everything) and then he returns to his creative rampage. He likewise avoids sleep until it is no longer feasable to do so. And every night is the same nightmare, the same recollection that pushes him to kick down the door of his safe-haven and kill and kill and kill until there is nothing left around for him to kill.

That's when he drops to his knees, breathing ragged, and he waits for them to descend upon him while he's still weak enough for them to feast. But they never do. He works too efficiently. By the time he's ready to give in, they're all dead. By the time more show up, he's too enraged to quit. It is a most vicious cycle, one that he hates and does not have the will to break.

He lives only for their destruction. More than five billion zombies and he must kill them all because he can't trust anyone else to do it. Because he trusted Mary and when he finally fought his way back to her house, she was munching on his Puppy like a screaming little appetizer.

It felt like every breath was laced with Napalm and every beat of his heart detonated a tiny explosion in his chest and every waking moment was alight with the need to destroy everything that walked and blow up the whole goddamned world. Sixty days of pure torturing agony that are alleviated by nothing but the blind, white-hot rage that fuels him and gives him _purpose_ where there was none before.

His creativity in their destruction gives him a reason to continue waking up in the morning. He wants nothing more than to kill every goddamned one of them until there are no more of those fucking monsters to ever threaten anyone again. He ignores the fact that even if he were to kill a zombie every second of every day for the rest of his life, it would still be impossible. He will kill every fucking zack he stumbles across, or he will die trying.

Rake. Garden shovel. Revolver. Shotgun. Lawnmower. Shower head. Folding chair. He likes getting up close to those flesh-eating, half-decayed, disease-ridden, highly-contagious motherfuckers not because he needs to revalidate his ego but because he wants to watch the life fade from their eyes. He wants to see them go from hungry to glassy and know that he was the reason for it all. There is nothing more satisifying to him than knowing he was doing his part to end the plague with an unholy fervor. "Thou shalt not kill." Good thing he wasn't too religious.

But that too was soon soothed. Like a balm from heaven itself, the burning desire to destroy _everything_ with no concern for his own life was soon healed. All it takes is a glance into those dark green eyes and he knows that there is still something worth fighting for, something beyond hating everything that was once human.

That's when he can almost forgive God for letting his Puppy (his _son_) die.

That's when he can believe that there is still a God and this angel is all that he needs to make it through this intact.


	13. Obladi Oblada

**A/N:** This is just a cute little bit of fluff I came up with while listening to The Beatles. "Obladi Oblada" came on and I was just like, "D'awh. Talumbus cuteness. :D". And this is what's born of that. Hope it's liked. :D _**ALSO!**_ I have a side project going on with a few close friends of mine called "Operation: Platypus Project", which is basically a collection of my brilliant rants combined with a good dose of Lewis Black-esque humor. (I scream about stuff everyone hates. A LOT!) That may or may not take up a good deal of my time, depending. So if you guys are interested in seeing how I am in real life and away from pre-determined characters, it's operationplatypusproject(dot)wordpress(dot)com. There's not much up right now, but hopefully (With graduation only a week and a half away) that will change. :D

**Gooooodpie:** Awh. Thanks.

**Taisi:** There are several cardinal rules in Z-Land, but it seems to me that "loose and gain" is definitely in the top three, haha.

**veiledindarkness:** It was difficult for me to write that one, mostly because I don't like thinking of Tallahassee as broken... And why do I get the feeling that you've reviewed on one of my other stories?

**Ninny-na:** Yeah, it was Collie at the end. :3 I have to tell you... Your username never fails to remind me of Johnny The Homicidal Maniac. o.O

**Elodus:** I'm a dudette, just so you can save yourself a few keystrokes next time, haha. And it is my goal to make the slash enjoyable to **everyone**, including those sitting the fence on the topic. :D

**luuluulove:** Don't worry, I have those dream/reality bleeds all the time. I once had a dream that I took all of my midterms and was free for spring break and I woke up because of my alarm and turned it off and then Mum came up the stairs half hour later to remind me I had midterms. I was late to first period. -_-' And I don't really see Tallahassee as the type of person who does something just because he can. If he did that, he would probably be dead, so it makes sense for him to be so goddamned crazy over the loss of Buck. And I had to throw Columbus in. The story would be too depressing otherwise. :3

**Cooper Sterling:** I try my damnedest to think outside the box. It was also late and I was really tired when I wrapped it up, but I'm glad it fit. :D

* * *

They were doing well over eighty miles an hour, but Columbus wasn't feeling his usual neurotic paranoias creeping up on him. The windows in the Cadillac were down and there was the distant purr of Wichita's newly aquired Mustang in the distance ahead of them. It may have been a forgotten bit of land before the outbreak, but that made it all the better after the fact. Columbus looked out over the veritable sea of vegitation that surrounded the SUV on both sides.

He glanced over at Tallahassee with a smile plastered on his face. It might have been the champagne they found hidden in a wine cellar, it could have been the fact that today was his _two year anniversary_ with the craziest motherfucker he'd ever met, or it could have just been the fact that life seemed incredibly awesome and simple at the moment.

Their food stores were holding out quite nicely, and they had encountered surprisingly few of the cannibals in this area. Most of their time was spent functioning like a normal family. They would go "shopping" for food, they would play board games at night, and Columbus had actually allowed Wichita to talk him into taking up gardening in the little bit of spare time they had snatched, and they had convinced Tallahassee the coast was clear enough for them to stay in one place, and had been living in a large house for the past year.

Columbus looked down at his hand resting on the seat and smiled at how his fingers were wrapped up with Tallahassee's. With a small and content sigh, he looked out the window again with a smile. There was a puppy waiting for them (undoubtedly on the couch where he really wasn't supposed to be) when they got home. He was a troublesome husky they called "Dante", and his partner in crime was a blue-eyed, white kitten called "Virgil"(1). The two of them would probably need to be let out (how Tallahassee got Virgil trained to go outside was beyond everyone) and would probably start a game of fetch (another un-kitty-like quality of Virgie's...).

Tallahassee gently squeezed Collie's hand and smiled at the younger man. It smelled like a storm was on the way(2) and he planned on spending some time with Ohio in the rain. It sounded perfectly juvenile, but that suited him just fine. They would probably end up throwing things at eachother and laughing the entire time while Wichita and Little Rock watched them from a window in the house with silly grins.

"Dante! Virgil!" Little Rock called. The pets in question bounded up to the front door with smiles in their eyes. They greeted their family and hurried out into the yard to chase each other and play games.

Tallahassee pulled Columbus into the yard and they started playing with the Husky while Virgil chased the ribbons Little Rock and Wichita were waving.

It had taken a great deal of effort for them to reach the point where coexistancde didn't involve lacking trust or looking over your shoulder or yelling at each other or constant conflict. But once the hurdles had been jumped and the bridges had been crossed, things worked out rather well forr the lot of them.

Columbus had wandered into the mansion and was standing in the second floor master bedroom when Tallahassee found him.

"I think that this is quite possibly been the best year of my life." Columbus sighed.

The sun was a bright orb abover the massive house and everything was colored in vibrancies that Columbus hadn't really noticed before they settled down.

"Well don't go gettin' all emotional yet, spit-fuck. We got plenty more to come." Tallahassee murmured.

"Tally?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, spit-fuck."

Columbus smiled and leaned back against his lover's warm chest.

"You know, when this all started, I was really nervous about staying in one place for any length of time. But this is kind of nice." Columbus grinned.

The sun seemed to dim by a few watts and Columbus looked up at the sky and saw storm clouds rolling in from seemingly all sides. Without warning, a blinding lightning strike illuminated their world and it began to pour, despite the sun's feeble efforts to peek through the cover.

From downstairs, a the slam of a door could be heard, coupled with shrieks of laughter and the scratching of claws on hardwood. There was a playful bark from Dante, and a peeved yowel from Virgil, and more laughs.

Tallahassee smiled to himself and pulled Columbus out of the room and down the stairs and into the yard where it was pouring with no signs of slowing or stopping. Ohio grinned like a fool and shook out his hair, sending water dropletts flying in every direction. He looked up at Tallahssee through his fringe of hair and pushed the hick. Tallahassee slipped in the wet grass, but managed to catch himself before he could fall. He smirked up at Columbus and lunged towards him. Columbus laughed and started to run. He knew that he wouldn't be able to outrun Tallahassee, especially not in the rain, but it made for a good game nonetheless.

The two of them ran in circles in the front yard for several minutes before Columbus slipped and Tallahassee tackled him to the ground. They rolled in the mud and wet grass for a good bit, with Columbus playfully trying to escape Tallahassee's grip. He soon found himself pinned under the southerner and he smiled up at his lover. Tallahassee leaned down and kissed Ohio gently on the lips. Collie wound his arms around his Tally's neck and pulled him closer.

"Can we stay here for a few more years?" Columbus asked when they parted.

"If that's what keeps you happy, then we can stay here for a few more years." Tallahassee promised.

Columbus smiled and, from the safety of the dry and warm indoors, Wichita, Little Rock, Dante and Virgil watched the two of them play in the rain like lovestruck teenagers. But, for the moment, life was good.


	14. Sleep

**A/N: **FLUFF WARNING! Collie can't sleep. Tally is at his wit's end. Song at the end is called "Sleep" by Poets of the Fall. (AKA one of the most amazing bands ever. :D)

**Anneka Neko:** Haha. Thanks. I will admit, I kinda love Dante and Virgil from the Devil May Cry series. They're hella gorgeous. Not to mention I'm a lover of classic literatures, so "The Divine Commedy" just... Well... I'm a smart video-gamer. That's a writer. Also, a chick. o.O haha.

**Taisi:** Yes, pets names are lol. And I think there needs to be more fluff. Everone is just like, "Tallahassee equals RAWR! Therefore, Columbus equals eep!" Why not just put them in something fluffy and see where it goes? haha.

**RoxasIsReal13:** Awh. Thank you. :D

**Murder Junkie:** The footnote was basically gonna read this: "SHUDDUP! I play Devil May Cry too... 'Sides. Dante and Virgil are HAWT." Haha. I know it was out of place, but I was listening to The Beatles and I was like, "Fuck it. Let's do something that no one else would think to do." :D Haha.

**Ninny-na:** Ohdear... Now I'm curious... What's your MSN name? o.o This one is more fluff, btw. :D

**Mus4u:** Here is more fluff. Just because I needed it. XD

**foxy-comic-death:** Thanks.

**music-is-luv:** Yay sweetness!

**luuluulove:** Well... maybe not _all_ of them... Wichita I can do without. XD And don't worry about Tally going scrawny. You know he's sneaking out in the middle of the night and wrestling bears or something ridiculous like that. XD There's no real reason why Platypus is mentioned in the side project. It started off as something making fun of a kid I go to school with who calls his blog "ANTIVENOM" and we were tired of his retardedly shameless self-advertisement (he's worse than _who?_ Mike Jones! haha.) so we were like, "What's the most embarrassing venemous animal known to man? PLATYPUS! No one ever dies of those!" And a monster was born. XD

**britni:** I love how dark his eyes are. I think they're absolutely gorgeous. I'm a strangley dedicated individual when it comes to making sure my facts are straight. AN HOUR of photo compilation and examination to made _damn_ sure I had everything right. I hate mistakes made due to sheer author negligance. Anyway. When you do get your own story up, lemme know. I'm always looking for something good to read. :D

* * *

It had gone from worrisome to painfully scary. The pain from the lack of sleep was almost preferable to the god-awful images that flashed behind his eyes when he tried to rest. When he finally couldn't help himself any longer and gave into the sharp tug of sleep, he always awoke in the same position; his throat was always rubbed raw from the harsh screams and there was a hand in his hair. Rarely did he remember the dreams, but he preferred those that were lost to the toxic miasma of his subconscious.

He would often find himself taking paranoid little naps, forever jolting himself awake after only a few moments of sleep, terrified of what he would see if they remained closed for longer than half an hour at the most.

"What do you dream?"

The question was unwanted and nearly went unanswered. Columbus was afraid to dredge up those scarring remembered dreams. They were better left untouched.

"Just tell me."

Columbus looked up at Tallahassee, who was sitting nearby. They were sitting in a large field, under a sprawling oak tree. The neighborhood was practically deserted before the infection. After two hours and one blunt-object-wielding Tallahassee, it was desolate and devoid of cannibalistic life.

Ohio sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest. Tallahassee put an arm around his shoulders in a vaguely comforting motion.

"I don't always remember." Columbus skirted the question.

"Then tell me what you _do_ remember."

"Last week, on Thursday... I was hiding in an attic. I was out of everything. There was no more food, no more water, no more ammo, no more patience. But you had gone for supplies and I promised you I'd wait for you. I heard something outside and I looked out the window and you were down there and you were surrounded and you couldn't get out and I watched you get torn apart and you looked up at me while you died-" Columbus choked on the rest of his words and anything else he might have thought was lost in a strangled sob.

Tallahassee cursed at no one in particular under his breath. He pulled Columbus into his chest and held the former college student close, trying to stifle his sobs. Tallahassee kissed the top of his head.

"I ain't ever gonna leave you, not for anythin'." Tallahassee promised.

"What if we get separated? Tally, you... You can't promise that."

Their car-ride was noisy, but still awkward. Columbus had turned the volume on the radio all the way up and clung to conciousness. Dredging up the memory of that dream had only made him more afraid of sleeping. His eyes would drift closed, only to snap open when he realized he was napping. He couldn't allow himself to sleep. He didn't need the additional emotional scars...

"Fuck!" He gasped. He scanned the Cadillac and whimpered to himself. He was alone, and Tallahassee was nowhere to be found. Columbus pinched himself. This wasn't a dream. Life had officially gone to shit. He grabbed for his rifle and whimpered again when it wasn't in the floor of the truck. He hit the lock button on the doors and pulled his legs up into the seat and tried to force his tears back. Now was _not_ the time to be irrational.

Columbus jumped with a choked scream and curled away from the face at the window.

"Will you open up the damned doors?" Tallahassee ordered.

"No. You're bitten. It's everything I'm scared of and it's happening!" The tears were flowing freely at this point.

"Collie, I ain't bit. Look around! We're at a goddamned rest stop! I had to piss! Now open up the door before some of them ugly bastards show up!"

"T-Take your jacket off. Prove it!"

Tallahassee ground his teeth, scowled, and shrugged off the jacket. Only once Colubmus was satisfied did he allow Tallahassee to put the jacket back on and climb into the car. Columbus frowned and rubbed his eyes. Florida sighed and ran a hand across his stubble-lined chin.

"Alright. Backseat." He ordered.

"What?"

"Get in the backseat."

Columbus reluctantly (and clumsily) climbed into the backseat, too scared to exit the vehicle and walk around. Tallahassee moved like a civilized human around the exterior cabin and in through the side.

Tallahassee sat on one side and pulled Columbus down so the curl-topped head was in his lap. He sighed and pulled his hands through Columbus's hair.

"Get some sleep."

"No. It's not worth it." Columbus insisted.

Tallahassee growled something to himself and reached up to between the two front seats and selected a song from the iPod he'd looted from a store and started filling with his favorite music. The music was soft and slow and comforting.

_"Hear your heart beat,  
Beat a frantic pace  
And it's not even seven AM.  
You're feeling the rush of anguish settling  
You cannot help showing them in.  
Hurry up then  
Or you'll fall behind and  
They will take control of you.  
And you need to heal the hurt behind your eyes.  
Fickle words crowding your mind."_

Columbus nestled closer to Tallahassee, but kept his eyes open. Florida's hand was raking slowly through his hair, a vain attempt to calm Ohio a little more. Sleep wasn't worth it. Especially since it would be nighttime soon... So many of his nightmares were to do with being alone in the dark and not being able to see the threat until it was chewing on his leg...

_"So,  
Sleep sugar, let your dreams flood in  
Like waves of sweet fire, you're safe within.  
Sleep sweetie, let your floods come rushing in.  
And carry you over to a new morning."_

Columbus sighed and his eyes started to drift closed. He didn't want to admit it, he didn't want to tell Tally, but the music was certainly beginning to work. The tension was slowly fading from his shoulders, and the pounding in his head seemed to only relent when his eyes were closed. He whimpered something about not wanting to sleep and Tallahassee told him to shut up and just fucking rest already.

_"Try as you might,  
You try to give it up.  
Seems to be holding on fast,  
Its hand in your hand,  
A shadow over you,  
A beggar for soul in your face.  
Still, it don't matter if you won't listen,  
If you won't let them follow you.  
You just need to heal,  
Make good all your lies,  
Move on and don't look behind."_

Tallahassee tried to will his own calm, self-assurance into Columbus, tried to force the boy to sleep. Columbus just shifted restlessly and tried to force himself to stay awake. Tallahassee rubbed Collie's neck and told him that if he didn't sleep, he'd get sick and he would be useless in the event of a serious attack. Columbus insisted that he didn't care.

_"So,  
Sleep sugar, let your dreams flood in  
Like waves of sweet fire, you're safe within.  
Sleep, sweetie, let your floods come rushing in,  
And carry you over to a new morning."_

Columbus wasn't entirely sure just when he fell asleep, but it happened. He blinked and his eyes didn't open afterwards. He shifted and felt the familiar pressure of Tallahassee's large hand on his back. He sighed and all he could smell was Florida. Dark images began to flicker behind his eyes and he whimpered.

"They ain't gonna getcha, Collie." Tallahassee murmured.

_"Day after day,  
Fickle visions messing with your head;  
Fickle, vicious,  
Sleeping in your bed  
Messing with your head.  
Fickle visions.  
Fickle, vicious."_

Tallahassee looked down at Columbus and sighed. These nightmares were a recent development, once Florida couldn't quite understand. He couldn't get Ohio to talk about them. Just mentioning the nightmares was enough to shut the younger man down. He wouldn't speak about them, wouldn't mention them. He kept them to himself, and it was obvious to Tallahassee that it was only hurting the boy to keep them bottled up. He didn't know what was going on in that think skull when those green eyes closed, but he knew that it had to be something god-fucking-awful. Colubmus was neurotic to the point of being annoying, sure, but there was something chilling about the pure fear that lit up in Columbus's eyes when he woke up from those dreams... Tallahassee ground his teeth and wished like hell he could fight off whatever was scaring his Collie. He growled to himself and Columbus curled closer to him, as if the noise were some sort of comfort measure...

_"Sleep, sugar, let your dreams flood in,  
Like waves of sweet fire, you're safe within.  
Sleep, sweetie, let your floods come rushing in.  
And carry you over to a new morning."_

Columbus slowly opened his eyes. It was dimly lit outside and he wondered how long he'd been sleeping. He was still curled up in Florida's lap with one of those large hands wound tightly, though not uncomfortably, in his hair. He sighed and stretched a little.

"How'd you sleep?" Tallahassee asked, eyes still closed.

"Doesn't feel like I had a nightmare... But how long was I asleep?"

"Fourteen hours, give or take."

Columbus purred a response that was interrupted by a yawn.

"Go back to sleep. We're safe here." Tallahassee murmured.

"Will you play that song again?" Columbus asked timidly.

"If that's what it takes, I'll play it a hundred times." Tallahassee smiled.

* * *

**A/N2:** There you have it. Shameless Talumbus fluff. :D For those of you who missed it, the song is called "Sleep" by Poets of the Fall. I thought it was suiting for the prompt. :)


	15. Walking Away

**A/N:** This one is a little bit of Wichita-bashing, but whatevsies. That's just how it turned out... Besides. Bitchita is always trying to sink my Talumbus Ship... WHORE! Anyway!

**Ninny-na:** Haha. That's pretty damned funny. I have to admit, I always found Johnny attractive in a strange way... o.o Haha.

**Taisi:** My brother no longer questions me, either, so don't feel bad. He walked into the room and I was staring at the computer screen, biting my lower lip and generally acting like a creeper. He looked at me, shook his head and said, "It's not even worth me asking." XD

**And unfortunately, those were the only two who reviewed in time to be included. I know this is an update coming so close to the last one, but I've been struck with inspiration and I'd like to run with it while I have the chance. On with the chapter...**

* * *

Watching her walk away was probably the best thing that ever happened to me, as strange as it sounds. A nerdy shut-in like me should be happy that he's found a gorgeous woman to sleep with, even if it's probably only because I'm one of the last men on Earth.

But it's like a demotivational poster I once found on the internet: "No matter how beautiful she is, someone, somewhere, is tired of putting up with her shit." And I can only be manipulated so much.

It started off as little things, like that girly pout she would give me, followed usually by, "Come on, baby, live a little!" But that's just what girls do. I don't want to sound like an asshole, but it's in their nature, especially the pretty ones like Wichita. They see something they want, and they know the only thing standing in their way is the flawless execution of putting out that lower lip and looking up with those big blue eyes...

But it was when I told her that she didn't need to be drinking or that the weed she found in that house should just be left alone that she started taking things too far. She'd accuse me of all sorts of things that we both knew were lies, but that didn't stop her from using them. She would keep me up late, droning on and on about her past, knowing I was too polite to tell her to shut up or just go to sleep like Tallahassee would have. Then, later, when we'd encounter a roving band of cannibals, I would, in my exhausted state, make a mistake and she would be there to save the day and say, "I told you so. Without me, you'd be dead." And I'd feel obligated to let her get away with something later.

I think I always knew what was going on and I just didn't want to come to terms with it, or maybe it was just on a subconcious level. I think for a while I was convinced Tallahassee's glares at Wichita were just left-overs from the times they stole our cars. Now I think he always _knew_ what she was playing at...

We were driving from New York south to Annapolis when I finally started to see. Tallahassee was napping in the back, and Little Rock had headphones in and attached to a CD player while she read a vampire book. Witchita was sitting in the driver's seat in a mini-skirt with black tights underneath, tights that stopped at her knees. Her shirt was a little too low-cut and was more of a distraction than anything, and her shoes served no practical purpose, only aesthetic ones. She shifted in her seat and the skirt shifted up a little higher up her thighs. I knew right away what she was up to.

"You know, I have a friend that lived in Annapolis before all this got started." She mentioned casually.

"Really? That's, that's great." I nodded.

"Think we could convince the asshole in the backset we should check her place out? See if she survived?"

"We ain't doin' no reconaissance bullshit so you can find someone to braid your hair." Tallahassee muttered from the backseat.

She let the subject drop, but I could tell it just meant things were going to get worse later when she finally brought it back up. Guess what! I was right.

"How can you let him talk to me that way?"

We were sitting in the living room of a house, waiting for the sun to set. Tallahassee was out looking for ammunition, and Little Rock was building a castle of sticks in the backyard. Leaving me and the rampaging Wichita alone. I sighed and waited for her to continue.

"Why the fuck do you just let him do whatever he wants?"

"It's not that bad. He's just trying to look out for us."

Wichita turned to me with that pout and dropped onto the couch, her thigh pressed against mine.

"I just don't get why you refuse to stand up for me." She pouted up at me, those baby blue eyes peeking through her hair... I almost gave in. And then she said, "Besides, I'm sure Laine had plenty of stuff tucked under those floorboards of hers to help us relax."

I knew right off that she was talking about weed. It was her drug of choice and she smoked it whenever she found it. I hate drugs and drug users aren't high on my list of people to associate with either.

"Krista, I'm not going to help you get high. You know I don't like you when you're high."

"Will you _listen_ to yourself? You sound like one of those retarded 'above the influence' commercials. I'm still me when I'm high. Just more relaxed."

I remember the first time she was high around me. She went from being draped across the couch staring at the ceiling to giggling about nothing to trying to shove her hands down my pants. She then called me "queer-bait" when I pushed her off, saying I'd feel like I was taking advantage of her.

"I won't help you with this."

"Fuck you, then. I don't need your shit. You're such a pussy, push-over faggot."

The door opened and Tallahassee walked in, but Wichita didn't stop.

"I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, are you so afraid of living you're going to sap the fun out of it for everyone else? You won't fuck me, you won't fucking drink, you won't let _me_ drink, or get high. What the fuck do you live for?" She demanded.

Tallahassee raised an eyebrow.

"There's no need for you to yell at me because I don't want to support your drug habit." I huffed.

She scowled at me and before I could even react, she'd jumped to her feet, hit me in the face, and screamed some sort of profanity. Truth be told, all I could hear was a faint ringing and the pounding of blood in my ears. Call me a pansy, but she can hit pretty damned hard. I remember looking up and seeing Tallahassee dragging her to the door. He threw her out and told her not to come back. I closed my eyes for a minute and waited for my vision to return.

"You alright kid?"

I opened my eyes and looked up to see Tallahassee standing over me. He looked concerned for the first time since I met him, and it kinda scared me a little.

"I think I'm okay... She hits pretty damn hard for a girl." I chuckled nervously.

Tallahassee rubbed his thumb over my cheek and I hissed lowly.

"She's got quite the arm, I'll give you that much. Looks like it's gonna bruise. Got you pretty good with that ring of hers..." He murmured.

I licked my lips just out of nervous habit and tasted copper. I cringed and frowned at the thick flavor. Tallahassee walked into the kitchen and rummaged around in the freezer that was still operating quite well in the kitchen and brought back a bag of frozen, pre-packaged guacamole and pressed it to my face. I shied away from the contact and he put his other on the back of my head and made sure I couldn't move away.

"If we don't get your face cold, it's gonna swell up and you ain't gonna be able to see. Now hold the fuck still."

He sat next to me and moved my hand up to hold the make-shift icepack. The door flew open and while I jumped in surprise, he didn't so much as flinch. Wichita drug Little Rock into the living room and shoved her towards the back half of the house with an ignored order to pack.

"We're getting the fuck out of here and leaving these assholes behind." Wichita huffed.

Tallahassee watched her with those cold blue eyes and I waited nervously.

"I don't want to leave." Little Rock pouted.

I looked at the girl. She was normally so content to follow whatever her sister said without question...

"I didn't fucking ask you!"

That's when I realized what was going on. I could smell it. She'd been smoking her beoloved Mary Jane again and she was being more of a bitch than normal because of it.

"Don't yell at your sister like that. You wanna leave, take the car in the driveway and you can go." Tallahassee said evenly.

I watched her hiss and growl and scream before she walked away and I have to say that it was one of the more exhilarating moments of my life. Little Rock stood in the middle of the living room, watching her sister walk out.

"She'll come back." I offered.

Little Rock shook her head. She seemed disappointed, but nowhere near as distraught as I would have been if it had been my sister walking out on me.

"She's not coming back. She told me once, when we ran away from foster care, 'cause she's not my real sister, that if I ever turned into dead weight, she'd leave me. I saw this one coming a long time ago."

There was an awkward silence before Little Rock shrugged it off and returned to building her castle of sticks in the back yard.

"She's a strong kid." Tallahassee muttered.

"Why'd you run her sister out?" I asked.

"Kid, ain't no one gonna hit you while I'm around."

I asked him what he meant by that and he just shook his head.

It was two weeks later when I managed to trip over my own two feet and nearly got myself eaten for my trouble that he finally explained himself. Or as close as Tallahassee could come. He grabbed me and kissed me. It all made sense now, why he was so willing to do all of that shit to protect me... I was surprised. Little Rock didn't seem to care much about the change in the dynamic of our relationship. She just shrugged it off like it didn't matter. I guess to her it didn't.

Even that awkward transitional phase where we moved from companions to, er, _partners_ was less awkward than _anything_ to do with Wichita. I noticed that even Tallahassee seemed less tense with her gone, and Little Rock seemed to smile more. I guess watching Wichita walk away was the best thing that happened to any of us.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Columbus snapped the composition book shut. He hadn't heard Tallahassee come up the stairs.

"Nothing. Just, just, uh, doodling. You know, nothing important."

"Uh-huh." Tallahassee smirked. He knew what Columbus was writing. The kid had left the book lying open one day and Tallahassee had briefly skimmed the page. He knew it was Collie's journal, and he knew better than to say so. He dropped onto the bed and closed his eyes.

"Tired?" Columbus asked.

"Always tired." Tallahassee opened his eyes and looked at Ohio. He loved Collie probably more than he should, but that didn't stop him. He wound his fingers in drk curls and pulled Columbus close enough for their lips to brush.

"You miss Wichita yet?" Tallahassee asked.

Columbus smiled down at him and whispered, "Never".


	16. Birthday Bouquet

**A/N:** This is just a bit of fluff I've been carrying around in the back of my head for a few weeks now. The whole concept revolves around jealousy from misunderstanding and flower arrangements.

**kittit24:** Yes, Wichita is worthy of loathing... haha.

**Ninny-na:** You can always count on Whats-Her-Face to ruin the moment, can't you? XD

**Taisi: **I tried to make it all work out without breaking character, and I'm really glad I managed to pull that off.

**Cooper Sterling:** See, I'm the same way, in that I love Little Rock, but I don't like Wichita. I _reallly_ don't like Wichita. First time I watched the movie through, I looked at Mum and I was like, "90% of that shit could have been avoided if stupid with the eyeshadow hadn't decided to be retarded." XD I love your long babbly reviews, so continue to be long and babbly with your reviews. Though I must confess that I missed you dearly... :3

**VampiressKatasandra:** "Bichita" was something I came up with one day while doing the dishes with my brother. It came from nowhere, and it kind of stuck and fits my mental image of her, haha. I'm glad you liked the chapter.

**Murder Junkie:** Don't feel bad about not reviewing. I'm using FF mobile on my BlackBerry and it can be a pain in the ass on that account too. Still a little upset that I can't update from mobile unless I switch to the full-site version, and that one takes FOREVER to load... Oh well... And sleep deprivation is a topic that I am _very_ familiar with. I'm a world-class insomniac with no signs of it ever ceasing (it's almost 3 am while I'm writing this and I'm still wide awake. o.o) ANYWAY! I never see anything wrong with bashing female canon love interest. Besides. That scene from the film when they're in the rest stop and Tallahassee _sniffs_ Columbus after he sprayed himself with perfume armed the Talumbus ship with a HUGE fucking canon. XD

**GooooodPie:** Walking Away was a little darker than I intended. That one was spawned by the opening sentence. "Watching her walk away was probably the best thing to ever happen to me." Kinda took a turn for the gloomy, but I'm glad you liked it.

**foxy-comic-death:** Yeah, Wichita is kinda mean throughout the whole ordeal... But Little Rock will recover. She _always_ does. :3

* * *

"You know I'll be 23 in three days, right?" Columbus mentioned off-handedly.

"I woulda pegged you somewhere closer to eight. 'Specially with your fear of the dark." Tallahassee teased.

"That's really fucking cute." Columbus muttered bitterly.

"I thought it was funny." Little Rock piped up from the backseat.

"That's because you've got a strange sense of humor." Wichita reminded her.

Columbus zoned out for the remainder of the conversation. It hadn't taken much time for him to realize his entire "relationship" with Wichita was based on the assumption that he was going to become some bad-ass knight in shining armor. He didn't even play as anything knightly in World of Warcraft... He was a spell-caster! A magic-user! He, even in virtual reality, attacked from a distance where he could still be safe. So he had broken up with Wichita, and apparently the sentiments were mutual.

Tallahassee had chosen that moment to make a vague attempt at being comforting and things had progressed beyond "friendly" with almost scary speed. Unfortunately, he remained unsure of where he stood with Florida, though that wasn't really much of a change once he thought about it...

"Why'd we stop?" Columbus asked.

"Tallahassee thought he saw someone waving from one of the windows in that building, stupid. Pay attention to the conversation." Wichita huffed.

Columbus sheepishly got out of the vehicle and stepped up to the building. Little Rock and Wichita stood near the door, neither wanting to be the first one to go in. Ohio took a deep breath and approached the door, freezing for a moment when he heard laughter and voices coming from the hall that laid beyond the door.

Tallahassee stepped into the sunlight with a pretty girl by his side, her arm linked with his. She was tall and lean and her blond hair was short, blond, and curly, and her eyes were bright green. The short-shorts she wore accentuated her long legs and her t-shirt showed just a hint of middrift when she walked and she wore her smile like an accessory. Columbus wondered how Tallahassee had managed to find a model hiding in the attic of an old general store.

"Jasmine, this is Columbus, Little Rock, and Wichita." Tallahassee introduced.

"Hi." She smiled.

"Jasmine and I knew each other before the outbreak." Florida continued.

Columbus wasn't sure why, but he was suddenly jealous of Jasmine. He hated her for being so pretty, hated her more for latching on to Tallahassee and not being pushed away for being clingy.

"You guys are welcome to stay here with me for a little while. I understand Columbus is turning 23 soon." She smiled.

Columbus just nodded a bit dumbly. Tallahassee had told her that? He felt the anger and jealousy spark up when Tallahassee shot her a silent look telling her to shut up. Jasmine rolled her eyes.

"Is Jasmine your real name?" Little Rock prodded, apparently either unaware or uncaring of the tension that was bogging down Tallahassee and Columbus. Jasmine didn't seem to care one way or the other.

"No. _Tallahassee_ told me that you guys don't use real names anymore. I was a bit of a botanist before the world ended. I was known for my mad night-blooming-jasmine-growing skills." She smiled.

Ohio wasn't too thrilled about Tallahassee taking Jasmine up on her offer of letting them stay with her. She explained that there _were_ still roving bands of zombies, but things were generally quiet. Jasmine then went on to say they were welcome to stay as long as they chose. Tallahassee insisted they were going to stay for only a few days or a week at the most and they they would be out of there, thought Jasmine was welcome to accompany them.

"I could leave the greenhouse."

Wichita noticed that Jasmine never seemed to stop smiling. Even when there was nothing to smile about, there was a faint, serene smile on her face, almost like even when there _wasn't_ something to be happy over, she was _remembering_ something to be happy over. Wichita wasn't entirely sure how she managed to keep that level of optimism up.

"What happened to your hand?" Tallahassee asked with a scowl.

They were sitting around an oak table piled with various vegetables Jasmine had grown in her greenhouse, as well as a stew made from a large rabbit Tallahassee had caught. Jasmine glanced at the back of her left hand with an expression close to wistful. Columbus looked at her hand and saw a dark scar that ran from the base of her thumb, diagonal towards the first knuckle of her pinky.

"I was clumsy. I was trying to do some a amateur welding and, long story short, I burned my hand." Jasmine shrugged.

"Why can't you just stick to your damn plants?" Florida demanded.

"Tallahassee, it's her choice." Columbus murmured lowly. He may have been jealous of her, but that didn't mean he was going to let Tallahassee be an asshole for no reason.

Jasmine smiled at him and sipped again at her soup. Tallahassee murmured something to himself and Jasmine's serene smile grew a touch, but it almost went unnoticed.

Tallahassee and Columbus were going to be sleeping in one room together, while Little Rock and Wichita would be stuck in another. Jasmine insisted it was only proper. Wichita did her bit of griping, but eventually let it die away, though it was soon Columbus's turn to gripe. Tallahassee insisted on taking watch with Jasmine. Columbus knew Tallahassee never promised him a relationship or anything beyond the occasional fuck or make out session, but that did nothing to help the jealousy. He was angry at Jasmine for stealing Tallahassee's attention away from him. And why were their conversations so secretive? Little Rock and Wichita either didn't notice his discomfort around Jasmine, or didn't care. They were equally likely.

Columbus was constantly being sent away with Wichita or Little Rock while Tallahassee and Jasmine could remain wherever it was they were. Columbus may have been inexperienced in social interactions, but even he knew when something was being kept from him. He sighed and kicked a rock down the narrow street he was on. He hadn't been sent away. This time, he'd grown tired of the strangely electrified air that filled the sitting room at Jasmine's house and he'd walked out on his own accord. There were few cannibal freaks left in this particular area, so he wasn't truely concerned for his safety, despite it being close to sunset. He recalled his mumbled response when Tallahassee asked where he was going, but the rest of the evening was lost to a haze of simply not paying attention.

"Where the hell have you been?" Tallahssee demanded when he walked through the door.

_"Oh, now you notice."_ Columbus thought bitterly.

"Walking around." He strugged. He passed by Tallahassee and climbed the stairs up the the room they shared without another word.

"He's dense, Jazz." Tallahassee shook his head and sipped the tequila Jasmine had poured.

"So? Come tomorrow, I'm sure he'll forgive you."

"You really think it'll be that simple?"

"After being around the kid for a while, yes, I do. He's got it for you, Tallahassee. Give him a little time."

Columbus slowly opened his eyes, wincing a little as a sunbeam hit his eyes. Damn sunshine... He bolted upright with a whispered curse. He never slept late enough for the sun to come thorugh that window. Had they finally gotten tired of him and left him? He pushed the thick blanket away from himself and glanced at the bedside table where a simple white card sat. His name was scrawled on the front in bold black letters and he lifted it with shaking hands.

_"Collie, it's your birthday and you deserve to take it easy and have a good time. ~Tally"_

Columbus allowed himself a small smile, but still wondered where everyone eas and why they didn't wake him up. He stretched and wandered down the stairs where he found a plate of bacon and eggs and toast, still warm, on the table, surrounded by daisies. There was another card nearby.

_"I know it's been a while since you've had a real breakfast, so enjoy it. Should be in the greenhouse when you're done. ~Tally."_

Columbus sat down at ate quickly. It _had_ been a while since they ate something that didn't come from a box or a can... He put his plate in the sink, almost feeling guilty for not washing it. But the truth was that he was more than just a little desperate to see where every one was, so he wandered out to the greenhouse.

There was no one there, just a large Mason jar filled with red, long-stemmed roses. A black satin ribbon was wrapped in a bow around the jar and a white card lay on the table.

_"Maybe I lied a little. Hope you like the flowers. They're the only red roses Jasmine had in her garden. Had her make the arrangement just for you. Head to general store. ~Tallahassee."_

Columbus grabbed his shotgun, which was very conveniently laid across the table and he wandered out into the street and began his walk to the general store. He leaned his weaopon against his shoulder and strolled casually down the street. He was wondering why exactly Tallahassee was doing all of this... It was like some bizarre scavenger hunt. Except Columbus had no idea what the prize would be. Or even if there would be one. He wouldn't be surprised if it was all Tallahassee keeping him distracted for his own selfish reasons... Maybe to spend more time with Jasmine. Columbus sighed rather tiredly. He didn't want to think about that shit. Not now. Not on his birthday.

The bell attached to the door over the general store chimed as the door swung open. Sitting on the counter was a bundle of heather wrapped in a white ribbon and, predictably another card.

_"Knowing you, you're probably getting fed up with this game. Just keep playing for a little bit longer. The gas station is next. ~Tallahassee"_

He walked towards the gas station with a slight sigh and a hand in his pocket. He was in no real hurry to go anywhere. He was finally alone with his thoughts for the first time in months and he was rather enjoying the opportunity to examine his recent thoughts and emotional developments. It was obvious, at least to himself, that he had somehow managed to fall for Tallahassee, and harder than he could have ever imagined. He read a facebook post once that said "you should never let a girl fall for you unless you plan on catching her", and somehow, Columbus was the girl in this mess. That didn't surprise him as much as it should have. What did surprise him was how little it bothered him. He was still wondering about if it was a good idea to tell Tallahassee (who was very against attachments by nature) that he was in love with him when he reached the gas station.

The door was stuck and he forced it open with his shoulder. There were dandilions wrapped in twine sitting on the counter and there was a sheet of notebook paper next to it.

_"By the time you get to this one, I'll be back at the house and set up. Walk with some purpose, spit-fuck. ~Tally."_

Now, more than ever, Columbus was curious. He walked quickly towards the house, his palms beginning to sweat. He carefully pushed the front door open and noted, with some curiosity, that there was a dusting of tiny white flowers on the floor. He kicked at them with the toe of his shoe. He threw the latch on the door, more out of paranoid habit than anything else... The dusting of tiny white flowers gradually gave way to the larger petals of white daisies as they led away from the door and towards the stairs. The daisy petals became the large, curved, white petals of some other kind of flower, that became pale yellow rose petals halfway up the stairs. They halted at the bedroom door and Columbus was nervous to the point of shaking by now. He reached out and curled the fingers of a clammy hand around the doorknob and he turned it.

The rose petals on the floor were a dark crimson red, so dark, they appeared black at the tips. They covered the floor like a soft, satin carpeting. On the bed was a collection of petals that were a dark red streaked with lighter red. He picked up one of the gorgeous petals and rubbed it between his fingers. They were every bit as soft as they appeared.

"Jasmine said you'd like them." Tallahassee drawled. He was leaning against the wall near the dresser. Columbus blushed and dropped the petal hastily. He wasn't so sure why he was suddenly so nervous, surprisingly moreso than ever before. Tallahassee pushed away from the wall and sauntered towards the nervous man standing at the foot of the bed. Columbus licked his lips and waited nervously for Tallahassee to make a move.

Tallahassee grabbed his face and kissed him rather roughly. Columbus wrapped his arms around Florida's neck and pulled him closer. He felt rough hands pushing his shirt up and over his head and he hurried to assist them. He was pushed backwards and the silken petals caressed his back gently and beautifully. He hummed in pleasure and pulled Tallahassee towards him. Florida's every move and motion was teasing, testing, slow, gentle, evenly-paced. Lips were placed on his neck. They brushed over his shoulders. A tongue skimmed over his chest. He arched into every touch and moaned at every contact.

There was something strangely surreal about gentle sex with Tallahassee on a bed of rose petals. He decided he liked it. A lot. His legs wrapped tighter around Tally's waist and his eyes slid closed more than just a little. He kept his dark green eyes fixed on Tallahassee's face and kept his mind focused on the sublime bliss that seemed to invade every cell of his being.

Post-coitus, Columbus lay curled close to his partner, more than just a little asleep. He was serene and content.

"Is this what you spent so much time with Jasmine for? Picking out flowers?'' Columbus asked.

"Yep. Jasmine wanted it to all be pretty and sophisticated for you."

"I take it the twine-wrapped dandilions were yours alone then." Columbus smiled.

"Yep."

"I liked them. I liked the petals on the bed. Those were nice. Sex was awesome too."

"Hmm. Happy birthday, spit-fuck." Tallahassee murmured into the nape of Collie's neck. Columbus snuggled closer to the warmth at his back and bit back a yawn. He was warm, comfortable, and thoroughly sexed.

"Tally?"

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you do all this for me?" He asked.

"You're dense as hell if you haven't figured it out by now."

Columbus smiled to himself.

"I love you too, Tallahassee."


	17. Permanent Ink

**A/N:** This one was inspired by tattoos and how "innocent" Columbus is. Hope you guys enjoy. Oh, and, all of the little sensations described herein with reference to getting a tattoo done, they're my experiences. Things are different for everyone.

**Ninny-na:** Yes, he's very cute. Just don't let him hear you say that. XD

**Karaoke-Kitten:** Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.

**Taisi:** I kind of like the scavenger hunt idea. It's cute and it requires a lot of effort, just to show you care.

**Murder Junkie: **You have earned yourself fifteen points for the "abrasive crabgrass" thing. :D

**Aeta Plokha:** Haha. I rented Zombieland from a Red Box and within the first two days of renting it, I watched it eight times. XD And I also believe they would make an adorable pairing. :D I'm glad you liked the previous chapters so much.

**ShadowWolfDagger:** Lawn mower reference was "Dead Rising", but nice guess. :D LUST was one of my favorite chapters to write as well, so I know what you mean. :3

**afallenheart:** ...Update? Haha. Hope you like it.

**foxy-comic-death:** Glad you liked it dear.

**creativeamber: **Yes, he can be sweet, but only when the mood strikes him. And don't mention it to anyone else. o.o haha.

* * *

"We might as well stop here. 'S as good a place as any." Tallahassee drawled.

"Sure. I used to know a guy who lived here. His girlfriend was a little weird, but they were both cool enough." Columbus shrugged.

"Pft. I was unaware World of Warcraft nerds could be _cool_." Wichita laughed.

Columbus ignored her comment. Shane and Mehgan weren't into World of Warcraft, _especially_not Mehgan. He met them at a conference for computer programing, but he didn't say that. He didn't bother elaborating on either of them. He just let the subject go and followed Tallahassee down the hill and into town.

There was a little store on one of the corners that sold all sorts of "nerd" stuff. There were posters, action figures, comic books... Columbus strayed away from the other three members of his "family" and pushed the door open. He cringed a the sound of the chimes attached to the doors, but froze when the barrel of a .45 Magnum took up his entire line of site.

"F-Fuck. I'm not bitten. Christ. I-I-I'm sorry. I-"

"David?" The weapon disappeared and a girl took its place.

"Mehgan?"

She was just over five feet tall, and looked as if a stiff breeze would carry her away. Her hair was a dark burgundy color, while her eyes were a light green. She had an industrial piercing in her left ear, along with three holes each in both lobes and a cuff in the cartilage on the right ear. She had a tattoo of a wyvern on the left side of her neck, and stars on the back of her right hand. Columbus knew from experience that there were more tattoos hidden by her clothing.

"Well, well, well. You _did _survive." Mehgan smiled. Columbush blushed lightly. Her Cockney accent was as exotic as ever to him.

"Yeah. Is Shane back there?" Columbus asked, peering around her shoulder.

"Shane was bit a few weeks ago. Had to shoot 'im, poor bastard." Mehgan shrugged it off.

"Wow. I'm really sorry."

"I'm not. Only got bit 'cause he was sleepin' around with that Jordin slapper from down the block."

"Oh... Well... In that case..."

"Spit-fuck! Who the hell you talkin' to?" Tallahassee demanded.

"Spit-fuck? Well that's a new one." Mehgan chuckled.

"Goddammit, Columbus. Every time I turn around you're running off." Florida continued.

"Columbus?" Mehgan asked.

"He's got a rule where we don't use real names. We go by either where we're from or where we're headed." Columbus explained lowly.

"Well, in that case, I suppose you can call me Rye, seeing as how that's where I was headed before everything went to shit." Mehgan said coolly.

Tallahassee just nodded to her and asked what she was doing hiding in a toy store.

"Hn. 'S not a _toy store_. Before all this anything in there would've been worth at least something. Besides, it was a cool place before the world came to a crashing halt." Rye frowned.

Tallahassee ignored the comment and told them they should meet back up with Little Rock and Wichita and get something to eat.

"Who the hell is this?" Wichita demanded.

"Call me Rye." She smiled.

"Like the bread?" Little Rock asked innocently.

"There's a place in the United Kingdom called Rye. Where I was goin' before Patient bloody Zero." Rye didn't seem too bitter about that.

"Wow! Cool tattoos! Are they real?" Little Rock asked.

"Very real. I have a few more that're 'idden." She winked.

Little Rock was suddenly even more enamored by Rye and followed her around for the remainder of the day, asking her questions about where she was from, where she was headed, why she had so many tattoos...

They were sitting in a little diner at one of the tables in the fading light of the sunset and eating whatever they had in cans. It seemed that was all that was left these days, stuff in cans.

"I wanna see your other tattoos. They gotta be cool." Little Rock insisted.

Rye chuckled and lifted her long mahogany hair, revealing a black paw print on the back of her neck and a small green peace sign beneath her left ear. She followed that action with lifting her jacket up over her head to reveal a baby blue spaghetti-strap top. She lifted the bottom and a small black bat with spread wings was tattooed across her lower back. On her right shoulder, in a very pretty flowing script, were the words "Cognito Ergo Sum" (1) She lifted the side of her shirt and displayed an intricate winding of Celtic knots over her ribs on her right and down towards her hips. There was an angel done in an anime style on the underside of her right arm, and a similarly drawn devil on the underside of her left. She had her belly button pierced with a silver ring with a cascade of bright green gemstones hanging from it.

"Did they hurt?" Little Rock asked.

"Mm. The one on my ribs did. The others, not so much. More like a scraping sensation over the same place." Rye shrugged.

Columbus took first watch with Rye.

"You still carry around your own tattoo equipment?" Columbus asked.

"Yeah. Why? You thinking about getting one?" Rye asked with a raised eyebrow.

Columbus just nodded.

"What and where, kid?"

"Did you hear something buzzin' all night last night?" Tallahassee asked with a yawn.

"Mighta been the electric. Place is ancient." Rye shrugged.

Tallahassee just nodded and reached for the box of cereal in the middle of the table. Columbus shifted in his seat. He was anxious for nightfall. Rye wasn't done with him yet. He had to admit, it hurt like hell, but there was an _edge_ to the pain, a tingle of something better, something exciting. And _knowing_ that it was permanent, that this was a decision he couldn't just apologize for and forget about, that made it perfect.

Columbus rolled his shoulders. His muscles were stiff and sore and it was getting colder outside. He was constantly shivering...

"Stop shaking for five fucking minutes." Rye hissed.

Ohio grit his teeth and tried to internalize his shudders. He heard the steady buzz of the tattoo needle in Rye's very well-skilled hands and he braced himself. Her hand moved over his skin in delicate sweeps and arcs, occasionally pausing to re-ink the needle or let him catch his breath. The details hurt, stung, felt like little cuts. But he refused to "bitch up" and tell her to stop. He'd waited a few weeks between the outline and the detail work, but he was careful to keep the work-in-progress out of sight. It helped that Tallahassee was working towards Zombie Kill of the Week, and Rye was giving him more than a run for his money. She was very good at what she did...

Rye had become another member of the family and followed them around from place to place. She had pulled them to a mansion in the Hollywood Hills, and Tallahassee and Columbus were given their own section of the house. Which Rye was using to her advantage.

"Trust me kid. This works for you." Rye grinned.

"Mehgan, I don't feel comfortable with this."

"David, shut the fuck up and put it on."

"I just don't see why-"

"DAVID! Shut the fuck up. Listen to me, okay? Clothes on. It'll be fine."

Columbus nervously tugged at the clothing Rye had given him before she swatted his hands away with a curse and a thinly veiled threat.

"Stay here. You've got three and a half minutes before Tallahassee shows up. If you don't go through with this, I'll fucking kill you because this is the perfect set up." Rye slipped out of the room and ran down the stairs.

The door swung open and there was a pause. There were no more footsteps. The door hung open. No words were said. He knew the desired effect had been achieved, just like Rye had promised.

Tallahassee stared at Columbus, who stood in the center of the room with his back to the door. He wore only a tiny micro skirt with pink and black stripes, matching knee socks and fingerless gloves to his elbows. The most eye-catching part of his outfit was the series of dark lines across his back that formed full angel wings that traced from his shoulders to his hips. The door closed and shuffling footsteps slowly grew louder until hot fingers traced over familiar lines that itched just faintly.

"This is what you and Rye Bread were so secretive about?" Tallahassee asked.

"You like them?"

"Why?"

"Hm. Why not? I like them." Columbus said defensively.

"Hn."

Columbus gasped and squirmed as he felt a hot, wet tongue follow the slightly raised lines of his new tattoo. He reached behind him and wrapped his arms around Tallahassee's neck and rocked his hips into Florida's. The response was a low grunt. Columbus smirked and did it again.

"You might've earned those wings by actin' cute and innocent, but I ain't fallin' for that shit." Tallahassee growled.

"Even angels fall." Columbus smiled suggestively.

Rye sat in the dining room with her tattoo equipment set up in front of her. Wichita wanted lilly on her calf before the outbreak happened, and now she had a chance to finally get it done. Rye smiled to herself. She was very good at her job and she knew that Columbus would be more than happy with his tattoo, and she knew that those wings were probably her best work, and in more than just terms of beauty or intricacy.

* * *

**(1):** This is actually _my_ tattoo, haha. It's wonderful and I love it. :)


	18. Earning Your Wings

**AUTHOR'S NOTE ACTUALLY WORTH READING!:** It was brought to my attention by an ever-faithful and honest reader of mine that Rye was a textbook Mary Sue bestfriend. Absolutely right. I forgot to include my footnote saying that this is actually a two-shot because otherwise it would be somewhere around seven/eight thousand words and it involves a _serious_ shift in narration style, and it just works out better this way. _**THIS DOES DEAL WITH CHARACTER DEATH.**_ YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Talumbus takes a bit of a backseat, but I'm working on a few side projects as far as character development is concerned and decided to use you guys as guinea pigs in my character development experiments. XD

**Karaoke-Kitten:** ... Uroboros? Haha. Sorry. Ignore me. I love my tattoo and my sister is designing me another one. :3

**ShadowWolfDagger:** Hehe. This chapter has more Rye...

**Ninny-na:** I originally wanted to get angel wings as big as those, but I decided against it and the one I have now would be in the way if I were ever to get them, but I'm okay with that. :) haha

**creativeamber:** I've wanted a tattoo since I was thirteen. I just didn't decide on what I wanted until about a month before I went in there to get it done. XD I'm really happy with it though.

**emmypf:** I'm not a huge fan of Wichita, and this chapter explains why she didn't have a "bitch-off" with Rye, haha.

**mudkiprox:** Yeah, there are a few bugs with FanFic Mobile I wanna see worked out... I would _so_ love to be able to update from my phone, haha. Especially considering I always seem to be out of town. -_-'

**Murder Junkie:** I can't remember if I replied to this via PM review response, but at any rate, you're right. She was Mary Sue last chapter. I forgot to say that this a two-shot and Rye is really sick and that's just explained there. Sorry to make you lose faith in me. :( But know that I appreciate your honesty and love you even more for it.

**kittit24:** A picture of my tattoo? If you have an email address I could. o.o

**Taisi:** Yeah, my first tattoo was small. About the size of my hand. I love it and I think my next one might be bigger. XD

**Duct Tape Monster:** Yes, I suppose Little Rock could be a "Hanna"... We'll just have to see where it goes, lol. Hope you continue to enjoy the chapters.

* * *

"Don't you think it's time we move on?" Columbus suggested.

Rye looked around the deserted town with one of the saddest expressions Columbus had ever seen.

"One more night?" She pleaded.

It was the town where she'd lived with Shane. The town that held so many memories... Tallahassee had asked her why she was spending all of her time with Columbus once the tattoo was done and the surprise was over. She broke down sobbing and told him that David was her last connection to Shane, and no matter how much she said otherwise, his death was ripping her up inside.

"Ugh. All I want to do is _sleep_." Wichita moaned.

They had been staying in an apartment complex, but they had soon been overrun and decided to move a few blocks down to a library, where they spent several hours barricading the doors and windows. They were draped over the various semi-comfortable couches and chairs. The bookcases were heavy, but worth the effort. The doors wouldn't be opening any time soon.

"Knock, knock."

There was a collective gasp as all eyes turned to the sixth person in the room. He was tall and thin and his cold gray eyes were covered by dark brown hair.

"The hell?" Columbus demanded breathlessly.

"Oh fuck." Rye whispered.

"Oh fuck is right." The man said calmly.

"You're fucking dead." Columbus whimpered.

"Is _that_ what she's telling everyone?"

"Who the hell are you?" Tallahassee demanded.

"It's Shane." Ohio breathed.

"You told them I died?" Shane asked. He ignored the side conversations and focused his attention on Rye.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to tell them." She said. Her anxiety was obvious.

"What in the hell is going on here?" Tallahassee growled. He stepped into Shane's line of sight, though the newcomer didn't seem bothered or intimidated in the least. He carried a rare brand of quiet confidence.

"Mehgan is sick, that's what's going on." Shane returned.

"I'm not sick!" She yelled.

"Shane, what's going on?" Columbus pulled Tallahassee back a few steps, though the southerner didn't stop trying to melt Shane with his glare. Shane's cold gray eyes never left Florida's and he threw a little orange bottle to Columbus.

"What is it?" Little Rock asked.

"It's a prescription for Lithium. And it's Mehgan's. Meg, are you bipolar?" Columbus asked, turning to his friend.

"Shut up. I'm not sick. I'm okay. I'm fine." Mehgan looked close to tears.

"That still don't explain why she's tellin' us you're dead." Tallahassee pointed out.

"I'm not sick." Mehgan whispered again. She ran from the lobby area and towards the back of the library. Columbus moved to follow her, but Wichita shook her head and chased after her instead.

"So she's bipolar?" Columbus asked.

Little Rock had wandered off in search of her sister and Rye, leaving the boys alone in the lobby. They were sitting in the chairs and passing a bottle of whiskey between them.

"It's more than that. She's... She's schizophrenic, David. She's not right. She imagines things, she sees and hears things that aren't there... When the outbreak happened, she stopped seeing her therapist, then she stopped taking her medication. I think she knew he was going to take her off the Lithium and put her on something stronger to control the hallucinations. I woke up a few weeks ago and I found a note pinned to my pillow telling me she knew my secret and that I was dead to her. She was gone. Her clothes, her tattoo equipment... Everything but her medicine was gone."

Columbus was lost in thought.

"She seems fine enough to me." Tallahassee defended. He rather liked Rye. She looked out for Columbus like he was her little brother. She managed to keep Little Rock entertained, and she calm enough to get along with Wichita.

"She's not right in the head, man. The industrial? She got that one after we got in a fight one night. I asked her why she got a piercing while she was angry and she told me that her angel told her it would help her forget why she was mad. A few weeks later, we fight. She comes home with those fucking knots on her ribs. Same reasoning. Her angel said it would help. She's masochistic and it's fueled by the voices in her head. The one that really scared me... The tattoos on the inside of her arms... She left for a few days, said she needed to think. She came back with those. I asked about the devil and she said he was jealous and he wanted her to remember him. When she got into a fight with her mom, she was gone for three weeks and came back with the tattoo on her neck and behind her ear and she had eight stitches in her leg. She said she got drunk and fell in an alley. A drunken fall doesn't look that much like a razor mark. So I took her to the hospital."

"So she just needs to be watched a little closely. That doesn't make her a bad person." Columbus murmured.

"She's already gotten to you, the whole lot of you. She's not what you think she is. She fucking... She molds herself to meet whatever expectations she things someone has for her. Her angel tells her it's only proper. It's the devil that worries me." Shane murmured.

"It's just a voice in her head." Tallahassee pointed out.

Shane rose and pulled his shirt over his head. He had a thick scar that ran from his right pectoral to his left hip. Columbus blanched.

"Her devil told her that I was cheating with my best friend Courtney. He told her that I would do it again and again unless she did something to stop me. So she tried. With a meat cleaver. She needs to get back on her medicine, but she won't take it." Shane sighed. He shrugged his shirt back on and took his seat again.

"I never meant to hurt you."

The three of them turned to the sound of the voice. It looked like Rye had been crying since she left. She was staring straight at Shane with bloodshot eyes, and he didn't seem disturbed by it.

"I know you didn't, Mehgan. That's why you need to take the pills. Then we won't have to worry about it." Shane said gently.

"I'm not sick! My angel is _not_ a symptom! He's real! He's here to protect me!" She yelled, tears flowing again.

Shane bit his lip and ducked his head. Columbus swallowed hard and Tallahassee sighed. She really was certifiable. There was an awkward silence and Shane drank from the bottle of whiskey in his hands.

"Come on, sweetheart. I got some of that vegetable soup you like in the fiction section." Shane smiled sadly.

"How'd you get in here?" Rye asked as she was lead away.

"Window in the basement. Just like we used to when we lived here." Shane laughed.

"If she's as sick as he says, she might just be a liability." Tallahassee murmured.

"Don't say that." Columbus pleaded.

"You saw what she did to your friend Shane. Who's to say she ain't gonna pull that shit on you?" Tallahassee was suddenly protective and Columbus sighed. He was rarely rational when he was protecting something that was "his".

"She's had plenty of opportunities."

"You don't know when that 'devil' of hers is going to show up and tell her to kill you in your sleep."

Columbus let the statement go without further comment. He had some thinking of his own to do. He didn't necessarily distrust Mehgan, but he was no longer as comfortable around her with his guard down.

"So she has split personalities?" Wichita asked.

"No. That's Multiple Personality Disorder. Completely different. Schizophrenia... She hears and sees things that aren't there. She hallucinates and she can't tell the hallucinations from reality." Shane sighed sadly.

"You must really love her." Little Rock whispered.

"Of course I love her. I just wish those damn voices would let her love herself... You should have seen her when she took her medicine... She was so different then. She didn't care what people said. She was so radiant... But that angel of her says she should conform to people's ideals." Shane's hands curled into tight fists. He was so angry at her condition, pissed off at an apparition he couldn't hurt.

"The angels know what's best, Shane."

The three of them turned and saw Rye standing behind them with a thick book in her pale hands. She was looking up at them sadly. Shane wondered if it was the angel telling her to be so quiet while they talked about her so she could sneak up on them and eavesdrop.

"They know what's best. I can prove it." She continued.

"How's that, babe?" Shane asked.

"They told me it was a good idea to give David the wings. They said that he deserved them. And they're right. David's an angel. He deserves his wings. Unlike you." She hissed.

"I'm sorry." Shane forced the apology through reluctant lips. He turned away from Rye and walked back through the dusty aisles of books.

"Would you guys mind if I follow you around for a bit? Things are harsh when you're on your own." Shane asked. They sat in the lobby, passing food and drink around, trying to enjoy the company of one another.

"I don't see how one more person could hurt." Tallahassee shrugged.

"Let's stay here for a few more days. I miss having books around, you know?" Rye smiled. There was no trace of her indignation or her depression. She was the Rye that they had come to enjoy over the past few weeks. But there was something tainted to her personality. They were all haunted by Shane's promise that this wasn't her, by the knowledge that it was her angel telling her to be so agreeable.

"I'll take the first watch." Mehgan offered. Shane insisted he stay up with her.

"I don't mean to make you upset." Mehgan whispered.

"You're stronger than this, Meggie. You just need to take your medicine again and you can get better."

"I hate taking that _shit_. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm not sick."

Shane nodded. He just needed to give it a rest. He'd just have to go back to crushing up the pills and dropping them into her food until she leveled out enough to take them on her own.

"Did you hear that?" She asked.

"Hear what, babe?" Shane asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I thought I heard something coming from the back of the library." She frowned.

"Stay here. I'll check it out." Shane ordered.

"Don't you treat me like a fucking child."

"I'm not treating you like a child. I don't want you to get hurt if there's a fucking zombie in the science fiction section. Just humor me and stay here where I know you're safe." Shane turned and walked away.

"He doesn't appreciate you. Or believe in us."

Rye looked at the man who was talking. He was a beautiful man with large slate eyes and dark blue hair. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was staring after Shane with evident disdain.

"He just needs a little more convincing, that's all." The man who spoke next stood on the other side of Rye. His eyes were green and flecked with gray and his platinum blond hair was swept back in a ponytail.

Her angel and her devil were deciding Shane's fate. She resigned herself to their conclusions. They _always_ knew best. They had told her to leave Shane and she had found David's new family and they had accepted her and her guardians had told her to try her hardest to fit in and David's family had taken care of her.

"Mehgan?" Shane asked cautiously.

Her head snapped up and her angel and her devil stepped back into the shadows.

"What?" Rye asked tiredly.

"You looked like you were thinking pretty hard about something. Wanna talk about it?" He asked gently.

"Don't tell him about us. He'll try to make you take the medicine again." The devil hissed.

"It's nothing. Thinking about where we should go next is all." Rye shrugged.

"We could go to the east coast." Shane smiled.

"Agree. You've never seen the east coast." Her angel reminded her gently.

"Yeah. I'd like that."

Shane sat down and closed his eyes for a moment, humming a song to himself. The angel and the devil took their places next to Rye.

"He will only bring you pain." The devil whispered.

"He wants to fix something that isn't broken." The angel nodded.

Rye chewed on her bottom lip. She couldn't say anything aloud. Shane would hear her and he would know she was talking to people he couldn't see because he didn't believe.

"Everything was fine before he was here, Mehgan. The others believed you and helped you before he was here. He is the cause of all of these problems." The devil hissed.

"We need to get him to stop saying you're sick. We must stop him or discredit him." Her angel spoke next.

"Save yourself the trouble and just kill him." The demon disagreed.

"Yes, I suppose that _is_ a rather viable option." The angel agreed.

"Shane, I'm gonna walk through the library. If I keep just standing here, I'm gonna fall asleep." Rye laughed.

"You want me to come with you?" He asked.

"Nah. You stay here by the front door. If we _are_ attacked, that's where it's liable to be. I'll be back soon."

Rye walked away before Shane could ask to come again. The angel and the devil followed her as she began to wander through the shelves of books. They continued to encourage her, continued to push her to obey them, because they knew best. Rye sat down next to where Columbus was sleeping. Tallahassee was close, but she didn't care.

"I'm sorry I lied to you David. You really are an angel you know." She whispered.

"Wings don't make me an angel, Mehgan." He murmured. He slowly opened his eyes and looked up at her.

"I know. I gave you the wings because I _know_ you're an angel. All three of us did." Mehgan looked to her angel and her devil and they nodded. Columbus noticed her looking into the darkness and he began to feel more concerned than before. He knew that this could end very, very badly.

"Is something wrong?" Columbus asked.

"Nothing's wrong. Shane doesn't seem up for conversation and you were always willing to listen. I love Shane more than anything. I love him and trust him more than my angel. I would do anything for him, anything to keep him safe. He'd do the same for me, and you'd do the same for Tallahassee and he'd do the same for you... At any rate, I'll see you later, kid. I'm really proud of you for making it this far and starting your family. You done good." She stood up and continued walking, leaving Ohio to stare after her in confusion. She seemed to slowly fade into the darkness until there was nothing left to see.

"What are you doing?" The devil demanded.

"I can't kill Shane. You know that." Rye whispered.

"You have done more than enough good to balance out the evil of his death." The angel spoke up.

"It has nothing to do with balance. I love him." She choked.

The angel and the devil argued with each other for a few moments, either not noticing or not caring that she had stopped and was writing. The angel insisted there must be another way to handle the situation if killing Shane was going to cause Mehgan so much pain. The devil insisted that there was no other way and they would be doomed to a vicious and never-ending cycle if the man were allowed to live. The two of them disappeared suddenly with a sharp and echoing crack.

"Mehgan!" Shane yelled. He ran towards the sound, towards the smell of gunpowder, already knowing what he would find.

"What the hell is goin' on?" Tallahassee demanded.

Shane choked on his answer and ran his fingers through Rye's blood-matted hair. He kissed her lifeless lips and clutched a sheet of notebook paper in one hand. Columbus, though he blanched at the sight of his friend's death, tried comforting Shane and eventually settled on taking the paper from his hand.

_"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, then I am but a resounding gong or clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part, and we prophecy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfection disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: Faith, Hope and Love. But the greatest of these is Love."_

Columbus looked at Rye and took a shuddering breath.

"She was sick. She was sick and in the end she knew it." Shane sobbed.

There was a faint itch between Ohio's shoulders and he knew why she had spoken to him last.

"She thought she was saving you." Columbus whispered.

"I don't care why she did it!" Shane yelled.

"What's going on?" Little Rock asked. Tallahassee pushed her away from the carnage and hoped she didn't see anything.

"Look at me, Shane. You read the paper. You know she did this for you, because she was scared of hurting you again. It's not the best choice, but it was the one she made." Columbus tried comforting his friend while Tallahassee tried explaining things to the rest of the family.

"I just want to see her again." Shane whispered. He reached for the pistol Mehgan had used and Columbus stopped him.

"Love is patient, right? She wouldn't have left this if it didn't mean something to the both of you, Shane. Even if she was sick, she wasn't careless. She wouldn't save you from herself just to have you turn around and follow her into death. You _know_ that." Columbus insisted.

"She told me you were an angel." Shane looked up at his old friend with a sad and embittered smile.

"I just want to help."

Shane closed his eyes and kissed Rye again. He rocked back and forth slightly and a new round of sobs erupted from him.

"I'm sorry, Shane." Columbus whispered.

"She was so perfect and so beautiful. But those fucking hallucinations couldn't leave her alone. They couldn't let _my_ angel be."

Columbus sat with Shane while he cried himself to sleep in the midst of the blood and gore left in the wake of Mehgan's suicide.

"What did you tell them?" Columbus asked when Tallahassee returned.

"The truth. Ain't nothin' else to tell. How's he?"

"How would _you_ be if _I_ killed myself?"

"Don't even talk like that." Tallahassee growled.

"He's fucked up, Tally. I wouldn't be surprised if he's gone when we wake up in the morning."

"You just gonna leave him?"

"We have no choice. We try pushing him one way or the other, and we're no better than those voices Mehgan heard."

Columbus was right. When the morning light began filtering through the small gaps left in their fortifications, Shane was gone, and so was Mehgan's body. All that remained was a single sheet of paper with bloody fingerprints around the edges.

_"You were right, but we loved with a love that was more than love. I hope Tallahassee knows Rye's watching him. Don't let him fuck up in your relationship or he might start seeing her ghost, haha. You're an angel, David, whether you want to believe it or not."_

"Think he went a ways before he killed himself?" Tallahassee asked pessimistically.

"No. I think he went a ways before he buried Mehgan and tried starting over."

"You certainly seem hopeful."

"Call it an angelic intuition."

* * *

**A/N2:** Yay for angst. -_-' I know a lot of you guys liked Rye, but I was planning on having her be really fucked up and suicidal from be beginning. Even when I started the last chapter, I got this vivid mental image of her shooting herself and falling in slow motion off the top of a building. Iono. I haven't written a character death or near-death fic in a long time... Sorry the update took so long. I spent a week out of the state. Anyway, I kind of want to experiment with different stages of psychosis and my portrayal of it. If any of you have read my Assassin's Creed collection and have encountered Leon, then you know what I mean. Sorry to disappoint all of the Rye-Lovers. :/ I feel like this one could be better, but... Oh well... Sorry guys.


	19. Change For The Bolder

**A/N:** I know it's been forever since I've updated last, and I know there isn't really much of an excuse, but my Muse has recently been so obsessed with MW2... Let's just not dwell on that, lest he garner more of an infatuation with it. XD Sorry this one took so long, but I promise I have new things in the works. And since I've actually been _ordered_ to leave work no later than 1530 on weekdays and my weekend work-load has been reduced, I should be getting back on an even keel. Hopefully. This one is shorter than most of the other ones, and it was really inspired by late nights spent listening to two of my favorite bands: The Bravery and The Raconteurs. :)

**ShadowWolfDagger:** I'm glad you enjoyed the twist. I thought it was a bit risky to just kill Rye off, but I couldn't picture it any other way. XP

**kittit24:** Well, now that I have that, I'll send you the picture. Things have been psycho with me the past few... Well, for a while. XD Yes, the devil is always the hot one, isn't he? haha.

**xdiexyoungx:** Ah. Silent Hill. The games scare me shitless and the movie makes me happy. o-o lol.

**sugary-bathtub:** I didn't really realize what I'd done with calling Tallahassee "Keith" until my brother looked over my shoulder, saw the name, and asked when I'd started writing L4D stories. XD I think Wichita is important in terms of providing someone for everyone else to hate on as they develop as characters. Because there's no better way to advance character development than to give them someone to demolish. Because hating someone makes you realize just what your personality really is. Or maybe I should stop with this pseudo-philosophical bullshit. XD And I think Shane is still alive. I couldn't really picture him cheapening Mehgan's "sacrifice" by killing himself. He seems to noble for that.

**Ninny-na:** I kinda feel bad for both of them. It's a close call. Yes, Rye was crazy, but she didn't lose the guy she loved. If that makes sense? Iono... Maybe _I'm_ crazy for thinking like this? lol

**RoxasIsReal13: **Aha. Thank you, love. :)

**Karaoke-Kitten:** I'm glad you're enjoying it.

**Murder Junkie:** Awh. Don't feel bad, love. I kind of liked taking this perfect little Mary-Sue and then demolishing them. It's entertaining to me, even though it shouldn't be. XD I see where you're coming from with the panicked denial, but I think it worked out better the way it was. She was just worn-out and tired of defending her reality, explaining why it was so "easy" for her to just pull the trigger in the end. Because she was tired of it all. If she were still convinced that her reality was _the_ reality with enough conviction to be desperate about it, I think that chapter would have been a few more thousand words than it was. If that makes sense? I don't think _I_ make sense... :X lol.

**Joyfully-Spinning:** Thank you dearest.

**Mable:** I swear it was an accident. But I seriously think that it's a possibility that Ellis and Tallahassee could've known each other. I've actually started that cross-over a dozen times before deciding I have no idea where I was headed with it and decided it was better off unwritten. XD

**YamixYuugiLover:** Thanks so much. I enjoy the concept of Tallahassee being a greedy little bastard and absolutely refusing to share Collie with _anyone_, especially Wichita, haha. And I'm glad I've converted you to the Talumbus ship. :D

**Senko Wakimarin:** Thank you for the praise. I try so hard to keep them all in character... I don't like portraying just one side of them because it's just... It isn't realistic. And writing a comforting/gentle/nice Tallahassee is its own challenge, but one I enjoy, haha. I couldn't help characterizing Wichita as a bitch. So many of their problems would be non-issues if she would just get over herself. If she hadn't showed up and told Columbus that his hometown had been burned to the ground, he wouldn't have been all depressed, and she also wouldn't have stolen their car twice, leading them on a wild chase that nearly got everyone killed because she's stupid! Sorry. I tend to take my characters a bit too seriously. -_-; I'm glad that you reminded me of the Seven Holy Virtues. I can't really claim to be overly religious, so I admit I rather forgot there were Seven Virtues. The Seven Deadly Sins actually came about as an accidental prompt. I found a study sheet for _The Divine Comedy_ on the floor of my English room and it outlined Dante's thoughts on the seven sins. And I just wondered how they could be portrayed. But now I want to see what direction I can take the Virtues in. I can't promise anything immediate, as I want to get back on track with my parallel updates, and I have a prompt running on my Call of Duty fandom that I want to finish up. So... By next month maybe? I want to do a bit of reading up on the virtues to see what I can do with them. ;3

**XBlackHeartedBitchX:** Ah, "Angelic Intuition", one of those lines that wrote themselves... Just seemed like a perfectly, well, Columbus thing to say. :)

**The Patchwork Cat:** Haha. I think everyone bows before Pyramid Head, haha. :)

* * *

He didn't want to admit it, but the zombie apocalypse had changed him; he was no longer twitchy, no longer scared to pull the trigger. Wichita said he'd lost the naivety she'd fallen in love with, said that he'd become too jaded and calm with the end of the world. She said he wasn't the cute little college boy that she found so sweet. She said he was reminding her more and more of Tallahassee every day. The thing was, Columbus wasn't too bothered by it.

They'd been driving towards the east coast when she'd given him an ultimatum. She told him that he needed to either open with her the way he used to, or he needed to tell her there was no turning back so she could leave. Columbus looked coolly over at her, taking his eyes off the road while driving, something he never would've dreamed of when the outbreak started, and he said only, "Guess you should make sure you're packed then."

She took off with squealing tires in another purloined car, Little Rock sobbing and waving goodbye as they drove. Columbus leaned against the side of the Cadillac and watched them drive away.

"Trouble in paradise, I take it?" Tallahassee said dryly.

"Something like that." Columbus sighed. He grabbed a can of Japanese canned coffee he'd found in some Asian supermarket and he opened it.

"Well you gonna tell me why or you just gonna sit there actin' like it ain't nothin'?"

"It _is_ nothing. She said I'm too different from the kid she loved." Columbus shrugged.

"You are different. Can't say you aren't." Tallahassee murmured.

"Change is good."

There was silence for a moment as the two stood there, both of them lost in their own thoughts.

"So you ever manage to fuck her?" Tallahassee asked suddenly.

"Fuck you." Columbus laughed. Tallahassee, at least, didn't seem bothered by his new attitude.

The interstate was packed with abandoned cars, some of them burned, some of them hanging off the rail, some of them just empty, like the people inside had just opened the doors and started running because it was easier than driving. Columbus closed his eyes, drew a blanket around his shoulders, and told Tallahassee to wake him up when it was his turn at the wheel. He soon fell asleep to the purr of the engine and the feeling of the Escalade pushing other cars out of the way.

It was the jerking of the car as they shifted from "DRIVE" to "PARK" that made Columbus sit up immediately. It was a rest stop. Plenty of cars around... Tallahassee rolled up the windows, opened up the sunroof, and honked the horn. There was a wail and three of the cannibals burst from the bathroom area, and they were quickly and easily handled. Columbus stretched as he stepped out of the SUV and felt his spine crack and pop itself back into alignment and he sighed at the surprisingly satisfying sensation. He was surprisingly calm, even though he knew that there were potentially dozens more that just hadn't run at them. There was blood everywhere, but no signs of anymore infected.

"We happen to have a destination or are we just driving until we find a decent place to stop?" Ohio asked with a yawn.

"I ain't never really had a destination plotted, spit-fuck."

"Call me crazy, but I like it better this way."

"When did you get so confident?"

"Somewhere between killing a psychotic cannibal clown for a girl with more personality disorders than a psych ward and realizing this is real life and I can't just turn this off and catch a flight back home and see my mom standing in the kitchen with a plate of granola cookies."

"Your mom made _granola cookies_? Sounds like some sort of abomination."

"They generally were. But she didn't like anyone eating junk food if she could help it. And damn did she try." Columbus laughed.

"Sounds like Wichita and not eatin' anythin' but salads and shit. You ever miss her?"

"Who? Wichita? Not really. She was a bigger prude than me. She refused to even touch me until she was sure I was 'who I claimed to be'. Like that even made any sense." Columbus muttered.

"Looks like you finally grew a pair of balls. Next you'll tell me you've started drinkin' and smokin'." Tallahassee chuckled.

"Nah. Those still don't do anything for me."

Tallahassee just nodded. It had been almost eight months since they'd started traveling together, putting the outbreak at nearly a year. The survivors they'd encountered had been few and far between and most of them had been rather mentally unstable. They seemed to be the luckiest out of all the people to survive the infection. And now they were short two members. It didn't seem to bother the men.

"Hey, Florida, let me ask you something."

"What's that, spit-fuck?"

Rather than say something, Columbus stepped forward, invading Tallahassee's personal space and he crushed his lips to Florida's. Tallahassee was surprised, but only minimally. He was used to surprises, and he was used to having to recover quickly. Columbus may have started it, but it was Tallahassee who took control of it and he made damn sure Columbus followed his lead.

"You've certainly done some growing up over the past few weeks." Tallahassee murmured.

"Shut the fuck up and kiss me again."

The statement struck Tallahassee as oddly perfect. He was strong enough to demand what he wanted, but submissive enough to wait for it. Tallahassee just nodded and gave Columbus exactly what he wanted.

"You sure this ain't the reason things with you and the bitch didn't work out?"

"No. This is a recent development."

"How recent is this 'recent development' of yours?"

"Few days before Wichita left."

Columbus didn't feel like continuing the conversation, so he took the initiative and jumped forward for another kiss. There was such a rush that came with this brazen boldness. He loved it and he wanted more of it. He wanted to feel like there was some kind of control he had over the situation. He wanted to feel the rush of being claimed, dominated, owned completely, inside and out. The apocalypse had changed him, but he couldn't claim he was upset by it in the slightest.

"I need a favor." Columbus panted.

"What kinda favor?"

"We passed a hotel on the way in."

"You wanna nap?"

"Well I was kind of hoping we could fuck before we took the nap, but if you'd rather skip straight to sleep, I guess that's on you." Columbus shrugged.

Florida wrenched the door open and pushed Columbus back into the Cadillac. To say they both appreciated Columbus's attitude change was beyond an understatement.


	20. Reset

**A/N:** This one was really spawned by listening to Death Cab For Cutie's "Grapevine Fires", which reminded me of _White Oleander_, a damn good book by Janet Fitch. I wouldn't go so far as to call this new chapter deep, but it makes you think. :)

**Ninny-na:** I'm glad he made your day. It was so much fun to write him in that mode. :)

**Murder Junkie:** Haha. Yes, there is something undeniably attractive about someone like that, haha.

**RoxasIsReal13: **If only I were in charge of the script, Wichita would have been only a minor speed bump in the road towards total awesome-sauce. XD

**Karaoke-Kitten:** Ohio got all sorts of game no one knows about. He's like a _ninja_. XD

* * *

Columbus had always been able to find beauty in the strangest and most random things. He liked picking the deeper meanings and metaphors out of poems and songs and all manner of other things. It fueled his optimism, kept him sane, kept him going during this fucking apocalypse. He kicked the gravel out of his way as he walked and continued trudging down the dark road. It probably wasn't such a good idea to be out so late, not in this neighborhood that was so densely populated before the infection. But what difference did it make to him? Maybe this dank and stinking side street was a metaphor for his life.

"You're 'bout as bright as retarded fucking monkey, ain't ya?"

Columbus shrugged and continued walking. He'd heard Tallahassee approaching, could hear those damn boots cracking and crunching over the gravel and loose asphalt.

"This is usually the part where you just tell me what's bothering you so I don't have to play 20 fucking questions." Tallahassee huffed.

"Nothing."

"What?"

"That's what's bothering me. Nothing."

Tallahassee sighed and he followed Columbus up the hill and towards an old building with a fire-escape leading up to the roof. Columbus quickly climbed up he ladder and up the few flights of stairs and took a seat near the edge. The horizon glowed brilliant orange and the air was laden with the thick scent of smoke. It was one of California's infamous wildfires, blazing away in the near distance. Only this time, there was no fire department to save the homes or save the scenery. There was only a handful of survivors who could do little more than pray for rain.

"It's pretty, despite knowing what it is." Ohio murmured.

"Nature's takin' back over." Tallahassee nodded.

"Sometimes, at night, I think I can almost hear it crackling and snapping outside my window and I wonder how far it'll spread before it stops and burns out."

"It'll run its course and it'll eventually rain and everything'll go back to normal."

"I can't help but feel it represents everything we fear."

"What, the fire?" Tallahassee asked. He reached into the duffel bag he'd shouldered when he'd gone after Columbus and pulled out a bottle of water.

"Yeah. The fire. The state of it all. It's something that we were comfortable with as long as we could control it. But all it takes is one tiny thing that we didn't account for and it flares up out of control and we're terrified, running for our lives, suddenly religious and praying some omnipotent being will interfere and save us and our possessions. We're fine with a concept, as long as it's something we can control." Columbus pulled his knees up to his chest and stared out at the glowing horizon.

"I think the only ideas we can grasp are the ones we can control. Always been that way."

"I don't know if they're dreams or nightmares, but when I sleep, sometimes I see the fire stretching across the whole continent, from one coast to the other. It burns everything without discrimination or remorse. It's always you and me and the Escalade, just a step ahead of the flames until we get all the way to the east coast." Columbus murmured.

"Yeah? What do we do when we get to the coast?" Tallahassee asked. The blaze was bright enough, hot enough, close enough, for Collie's face to be painted in gold and red and orange. His dark green eyes seemed to be flashing in the flickering light and his hair had taken on a strange tint. He looked like some sort of untamed creature from another world that just stopped in for a chat before destroying everything.

"We find a boat and we make our way south. Sometimes to Mexico, sometimes all the way to Panama so we can go through the canal and make our way up to California and see what we can find in the ashes. Other times we just keep going east until we hit Europe." Columbus never took his eyes off the flames that were dancing so elegantly just beyond their little sphere of safety.

"Sounds like a rough future." Tallahassee said after a moment. He offered the water to Columbus, who took it gratefully.

"Sounds like it would wipe out the infection."

They didn't say anything for a while, choosing instead to watch the fire that seemed to span the entire length of California. Columbus liked the way the smoke somehow smelled clean as the wind carried it towards them on gusts of hot, dry air. It reminded him of home. His mother would always have a wood fire going in the fireplace for Thanksgiving and Christmas, his father would smoke an old pipe from time to time... Smoke and wood and flame was familiar and comforting to him. He closed his eyes and imagined for a second that he was back at home on Christmas Eve and he was sitting just a little too close to the fire and that his mother would be by at any moment to tell him to move away from the fireplace before he somehow managed to hurt himself. He could almost smell her cooking for a moment.

"You plannin' on tellin' me what's really bothering you or am I expected to play 20 Questions?" Tallahassee asked.

"I don't know what's bothering me to be honest. I just know that everything seems two-dimensional and pointless. It's like nothing's real but the flames. I don't want to leave California because I'm afraid I'll fall off the edge of the Earth. I'm scared we'll have to pass through Ohio and I'll have to see my old house and wonder if my parents were infected or just plain fucking eaten." Columbus paused and chewed at his lower lip while his thumb quickly batted a lone tear away from his cheek.

"I don't know what's going on with me. I feel like I'm just falling all to hell and there's nothing I can do that'll stop it. Part of me just wants to cry until I can't cry anymore and the rest of me just wants to watch the whole fucking world burn." Columbus confessed.

"Cry. Less of a permanent effect and it'll probably help you more."

Columbus just shook his head and didn't say anything. He didn't trust his voice to not crack or give out. Tallahassee sighed and put an arm around Columbus's shoulders and the scrawny college student gave in, buried his face in the southerner's chest and sobbed. He cried for Wichita and Little Rock, who'd disappeared with their supplies and a car in the middle of the night. He cried for his missing parents. He cried for Patricia Ericson, the girl in his Wednesday morning physics class that hid her pretty face behind her hair because she was afraid of someone complementing her. He cried for Tallahassee's dead son, for the girl three doors down from his that could barely afford to make ends meet that still sent her grandparents money every month to make sure they could cover their medication costs, for the old man that ran the cafe near his home. He cried for people he'd never met and for the people he'd never really gotten to know. There was so much that had been lost, and so much more left to lose. He didn't want to be another statistic. He didn't want to be another casualty in a war against the undead.

Tallahassee let him cry. He was just a kid caught up in a new world of death and destruction with no end in sight. He was still sheltered and naive enough to witness the horror for what it really was instead of what the jaded took it for. Tallahassee wished he could cry as hard as the kid could.

It was only a matter of minutes before Columbus's breathing had evened out and he fell asleep with tear-tracks on his face. Tallahassee collected the exhausted Columbus in his arms and carried him down through the maintenance stairs and out the back door and towards the apartment they'd cleared. He wondered if the fires had scared the infected off like animals with how deserted the city was. It should've been packed, wall-to-wall cannibals. Instead, they were met with virtually nothing. He wouldn't take it for granted.

Columbus muttered something in his sleep and shifted slightly in Florida's arms. He gently placed Columbus on the bed and dropped next to him. It was well-fortified in this little one-bedroom apartment, and it seemed the only reason it was unoccupied was because the previous inhabitants had just decided to up and move for some reason. He was glad the barricades had held up so well; it meant one less thing for him to fret over. As it stood, he had his hands full worrying about Columbus and why he'd felt the need to break down now instead of earlier when things were far worse. He wished his was capable of being more helpful, but he was no good at handling_ his own_ emotions, much less those of someone else, someone more delicate. He sighed and rubbed at his eyes. Rather than continue sitting there, wallowing in his own lack of empathy, he stood up and walked to the window. He pulled the curtains away from the glass and stared out at the flames, seeming to almost noticeably creep closer to their current position. Maybe Collie was right; Maybe the flames would spread from one tip of the continent to the next and scorch all the land between the coasts. Maybe that would be the end of the infection on their continent. Maybe that would make the entirety of North America a safe zone. Maybe that was just some kind of deranged wishful thinking.

Tallahassee sighed and rubbed his eyes. Columbus _was_ right. That fire represented all of the destruction occurring the world over. Civilization had collapsed from the inside and Darwinism was at work like never before; only the strongest, fastest, most resilient were scratching out a tough existence in the face of utter extinction. Florida opened the window, not too concerned about the zombies attacking, seeing as how they were on the third floor. The smell of hardwood smoke carried through the apartment and he leaned against the windowsill. It really was only a matter of time before the blaze took this building out, reduced it to charred rubble and a pile of ashes. Where would they be when that happened? Would they be on the east coast by then? Would they even be in the country? Tallahassee almost laughed at the concept. What difference did boarders make when the entire planet was dead? Money was useless when he could walk into any store he wanted, take whatever he wanted, and there was no one alive to stop him to question him, to tell him it was morally wrong.

The fire crept ever closer to their back yard, leaving destruction behind. Good. Mother Earth had grown fed-up with them etching dark scars into her surface and she'd hit the reset button while humanity slept in a thick cocoon of their own pride, convinced they were invincible. Only those who knew they would need to fight for survival were surviving. Tallahassee almost laughed at himself as he imagined the look on Collie's face if he realized his companion was such a deep thinker. He sat down on the edge of the bed and watched Columbus sleep for a few moments. They would survive. They were used to scraping by. They could take a meager existence and turn it into something beautiful, something that others would envy.

When morning came, Columbus was the first one awake. The room was filled with the faint smell of smoke and he could hear the cries of birds coming through the open window. He quietly packed his things and let Tallahassee sleep. He felt bad for crying himself to sleep like that, but he had no way of stopping himself once he started.

"You plannin' on runnin' off while I'm sleepin' too?" Tallahassee asked sarcastically.

"Just making sure I'm ready to get out of here the second we need to." Columbus shrugged.

Tallahassee stretched and began packing his own duffel bag.

"Look, I'm sorry about last night." Columbus sighed.

"I'm not. You needed it."

They left the apartment in the same way they found it. Maybe another survivor or two would wander this way and make use of it. If the flames didn't devour it first. The engine of their Cadillac had long since decided to stop working, and rather than compromise, Tallahassee insisted they walk until they found suitable transport. Columbus didn't mind. The hot, dry air felt like a fresh breeze from a better reality.

"I've never seen a conflagration so pretty." Columbus murmured. They were eating a lunch of whatever happened to be on hand at the moment in one of the upper levels of a parking garage, their legs dangling over the edge, eyes on the still-glowing horizon. He wondered how far from California they would have to be before the nights were black again and the air no longer smelled like the flaming death of thousands of trees.

"Most people wouldn't find fires this big pretty." Tallahassee pointed out.

"This is the way it should be, Tally. It's not going to change until it decides to change, meaning we're just wasting our time wishing it was some other way. Fire is just as much a wild animal as an exotic pet locked up in a cage in a millionaire's mansion; it's only tame until it sees an opportunity to take, and to hell with the consequences. Humans spend too much time trying to control things beyond the realm of control. This is just nature's way of proving a point." Columbus picked up his empty can of peaches and lobbed it as far from the building as he could. He worked his lower lip between his teeth for a moment before he stood up, dusting his hands off on his jeans.

Tallahassee rose as well and followed the college student higher in the parking complex, still looking for the perfect car to hot-wire. They eventually came across another Escalade, this one a brilliant red instead of black. It was only a matter of a few minutes before it was running and ready to take them as far as it could. Columbus rolled the windows down, folded his arms on the sill, and rested his head on his arms, enjoying how the wind whipped at his face. He could still see the tongues of flame leaping up the trunks of trees who'd survived multiple presidencies, storms, land development... The fire didn't care how old these trees were. The fire killed indiscriminately, taking the feeble saplings as easily as it claimed the taller, older trees. It scorched the rocks and singed the earth and brought everything back by thousands of years. Power lines screamed before they broke as their wooden supports were consumed by the ravenous flames. In a few weeks time, the only proof humans had ever inhabited this corner of of the world would be found in the twisted steel shells of buildings and the occasional metal carcass of some vehicle that managed to survive the onslaught.

Columbus reached into the backseat for a can of soda and sighed. He was strangely calm despite knowing that it was possible for these flames to bounce from city to city and destroy California and then set its sightless gaze on the next state, and the next and the next, forcing the survivors farther east, wiping out the infected too slow and stupid to run from a painful death. Columbus mentioned this to Tallahassee, who smiled and said something about hitting the reset button to give them a second chance.

"Starting new. Like taking the approach of a phoenix, rising new out of ashes and destruction." Columbus murmured.

"You got it."

"Like nothing before now was real. Our paper records that seemed so permanent just swept up in the blaze and reduced to ashes that mix with the dirt and become nothing all over again. It's like we're the beginning." The college student continued.

"Exactly."

"If this is really the beginning, a completely new beginning... Pull over." Columbus ordered. Rather than question the command, Tallahassee pulled over. He wasn't sure if the sudden revelation was going to send him into a panic attack and make him vomit, and he'd rather not spend the next few hours driving around in a car reeking of puke.

Once the car was put in park, Columbus jumped at him, kissing him quickly.

"If this is a new beginning, I wanna start it right." He breathed. He kissed Tallahassee again and it was like he was burning up from the inside out, like he was falling victim to the blaze just as much as anyone else and he knew that this was the start of his first chance at a renewed existence. It pushed him on, made him want _more_.

"If this is a new beginning, I wanna start it by telling you that I love you and I don't care how that makes me look." Columbus continued.

Tallahassee nodded and he kissed Columbus with all the gentility he'd been scared to show during their apocalypse. Because this was the promise of a new start. Just like their impervious homes and offices had been torn away and destroyed by a little spark that had the will to grow, he let the flames of Columbus's rebirth strip away his defenses and his falsified gruffness. They both found themselves hoping California would continue to nurse her flames, hoping the ocean winds would continue to push those flames east, like newly crowned adults pushed out from home to make their own name in new cities and states. They allowed their past to be erased by flames that hadn't yet seen their hometowns so that they could pick their lessons from the remaining ashes and move forward with their new lives no longer weighted down by things they could never change. The flames were a metaphor for their apocalypse, but nothing could touch what they would make of it.


	21. CHARITY

**A/N:** I ran the Seven Deadly Sins a while back. Now I'm moving on and I'm going to conquer the Seven Holy Virtues. This one is going to be more difficult than the last... Thanks to **Senko Wakimarin** for the idea. :)

**Taisi:** Glad you liked it dear. Both chapters. :)

**Ninny-na:** Haha. I understand skipping over stuff. I really do. Don't feel bad. ;D

**RoxasIsReal13:** Heehee. I know they're working on a Zombieland sequel, supposed to be in 3-D. :O haha

**Murder Junkie:** Haha. I like metaphors. I like pretending life is deeper than what's presented. Sorry to spook the sleepless. XD

**SaintFable:** :D Thanks

**YamixYuugiLover:** Columbus strikes me as the type of person to be so neurotic and paranoid because he looks at everything with an over-analytical view, like he has to examine everything in depth. So it makes sense that he would be so philosophical. Keeping them in character is sometimes a little more difficult than the final product alludes, haha.

* * *

When dealing with the knowledge that there aren't many people in the world who are actually _people_, but still just as many supplies as there were when there were plenty of people, it's hard to imagine there could ever be such a thing a a shortage of anything. But it happened. People believed they could just give up their cushy lifestyles and harsh it out in the wilderness and often were soon struck by famine and hunger and sickness because they were too stupid to know what they were doing and too proud to admit it. Of course, there were small pockets of remaining civilization, small pockets of survivors that had lived off the land before the infection and continued to do so during the apocalypse.

Some of these little communities turned outsiders away, claiming it was hard enough for them to support themselves, much less those who would gladly take everything for nothing in return. A few others would take in outsiders for small stints at a time, just enough to get them away from malnourishment and a little closer to healthy, sometimes keeping them around for the cold winter months, rather than letting them die out in the cold. Some kept the outsiders for a few months at a time, but made it a point to teach them whatever they could about survival.

One little settlement was a town that might've had an official name before the outbreak, but was now called "Jaynestown"(1). The people there offered food and medicine to those who desperately needed it, and offered tips for survival to all others who had grown weary of the nomadic lifestyle.

Tallahassee thought they were stupid for letting just anyone wander in, taking care of them for free. They offered up stockpiled antibiotics for the sick, canned and dried foods to those who were just passing through but lacking enough to make it far... Knowing that they wouldn't get anything in return. Florida had been only too happy to take advantage of that hospitality to sleep in a soft bed for a few nights, take advantage of the opportunity to sleep wrapped up around Columbus instead of having to take shifts on watch. His plan was to soak up the free hospitality, take a few patrols, do a raid or two, and then get the hell out of Dodge.

After their first night there, Tallahassee woke up to Columbus already dressing and raking his fingers through his hair.

"Where the hell you goin' spit-fuck?" Florida drawled, the suspicion evident in his tone.

"Hospital building." Columbus mumbled.

"The hell you going there for?"

Columbus paused in zipping up his hoodie and glanced over his shoulder at the southerner with an expression that said he didn't expect Florida to understand, but didn't hold that against him either. He shook his head and walked out of the room, out into the street, out towards the hospital building. Tallahassee shrugged, stretched, shuffled into the shower. Why would someone as neurotic as Columbus willingly go towards a mass holding cell for the sick and diseased? The question echoed around Tallahassee's head for a few minutes, demanding his attention, despite how reluctant he was to give it. It simply didn't make sense.

He was sent out into the woods with a few of the other survivors with the task of bringing fresh meat back while they still had the opportunity to get it. Even in the calm and the quiet of the forest, the nagging question continued, intensified even. He ground his teeth together. The only way he'd ever find out was to go back to Jaynestown and confront Columbus...

The neurotic student was still in the hospital building when Tallahassee and his crew returned to the town. The town's idea of a hospital was a small, two-story brick school building that had been re-purposed after the outbreak. They had their general physician with a small office for when someone had the sniffles or a broken finger before Patient Zero, but they had soon needed to build their own little hospital when the infection made it inconvenient to travel thirty miles or so to the nearest serious hospital. That devout isolation had saved their town from the worst of the infection.

Tallahassee approached the triage desk and asked the nurse if she'd seen Columbus. She searched through a stack of papers before muttering something about the children's ward on the second floor. Florida thanked her and walked quickly up the stairs, wanting to catch whatever story Columbus happened to be reading to the kids this time. Because it was just like Collie to read a story to the sick little kids.

"Can you take a breath for me? A real deep one? Just like that. One more? One more time? Awesome."

Florida paused. What was Collie doing dressed up in a lab coat with a stethoscope pressed to that kid's back? Ohio clearly didn't see his lover as he scratched something out on a clipboard and turned to the boy's mother.

"It's not as bad as you thought it was, but I'm glad you didn't wait. It's bronchitis, but with things getting colder, it could've become pneumonia. Take this to the desk downstairs and they'll get you some antibiotics." Columbus explained.

"Ewwww. Medicine?" The little boy made a face.

"It's either medicine now, or no soccer this summer." Columbus warned. The boy gasped and promised to take his medication every day.

Columbus walked out of the room and to the bathroom across the hall where he wearily washed his hands. So many people were coming in with colds and bronchitis and there had been a few cases of the flu. He worked the soap in even between his fingers and sighed. All these little sicknesses people didn't want help for... All it would take was one person to go unchecked and it could start an avalanche of sickness, and they would be hard-pressed to combat something like that. The door opened and Columbus checked the reflection.

"Didn't think you liked hospitals." He mused, running his hands under the hot water.

"I could say the same to you. What the hell are you doing here?" Tallahassee demanded.

"My job, Tally." Columbus sighed as he watched the suds slowly slide from his skin under the weak pressure from the faucet.

"Your job."

"We've been traveling the country together for three months, and you never once asked me what I was going to school for." Columbus chuckled.

"You were goin' to med school?" It seemed a little odd, someone as nervous and twitchy and paranoid as Collie, wanting to deal with angry sick people for a living.

"I was almost _done_ with med school. Yeah. Graduated high school when I was sixteen. Started going to University two months after graduation. I'm 23 (2) and I was almost done with what most people don't accomplish until they're 26. I had two finals to take. I was already shadowing a few doctors at local hospitals and small practices. I knew what I was doing, just didn't have the letters to put behind my name yet." Columbus shut the water off with his elbow and dried his hands on a rough paper towel. He turned to face Tallahassee and waited for some kind of response.

"So that's why you were never worried about getting sick." Tallahassee murmured. Out of all the things Collie had feared, getting sick had never been one of them. Bridges? Sure. Heights? Definitely. Clowns? Hell yes. But not sickness. He had never once feared for his health. And now Tallahassee knew why.

"This why you want to stay here so damn long? So you can play doctor?"

"I'm not _playing,_ Tallahassee. These people need help, and I'm the only person here qualified enough _to_ help. The nurses? Most of them are just kids with a good grasp on first aid and pleasant bedside manner." Columbus gestured toward the door as he spoke.

Tallahassee thought for a long moment. Columbus had been insistent on staying in Jaynestown once they had encountered another survivor who told them about the permanent settlement and the hospital, and now Tallahassee was beginning to see why.

"There are all these people, Tally, all these people with no hope anymore. Every day, more and more of them are getting sick, among them the town physician. The guy supposed to be helping people was the Virgin Mary's midwife and he's got one foot in the grave, meaning they have no one else to help them. If not me than who? So many doctors, even before the outbreak, were so burned out and jaded and disenchanted with their work that they wouldn't bother helping people for nothing. We don't even know if there's another doctor out there who hasn't gotten themselves eaten trying to help someone. They need help and I can help them."

"So you're feelin' obligated to help them because you went to school for it."

"I feel 'obligated' to help them because it's the right damn thing to do! We're no better than those cannibal bastards if we don't help each other and just live off of what was left behind or what we can get for free. This is the _only_ thing separating us from them." Columbus hissed.

"We ain't the ones out there eatin' people alive, either." Tallahassee countered.

"No, we aren't. But I fail to see how letting someone die from pure _negligence_ is any better than eating them for lunch."

Tallahassee didn't say anything for a long moment.

"I've got patients waiting for me." Columbus pushed the door open with his shoulder and left the bathroom with a scowl. Tallahassee punched one of the stall doors, watching it swing inwards with some sense of satisfaction. He'd never meant to start an argument with Collie. Looked like the kid was going to work late just to spite him and to avoid sharing a bed with him. Personally, Tallahassee thought a healthy dose of separation was better for all parties involved. And yet here was Columbus, putting his own health and safety on the line to help those who couldn't help themselves. Tally sighed and closed his eyes. He had one hell of a hole to dig himself out of.

Columbus _did_ end up staying at the hospital all night, but not to spite Tallahassee. Another group of nomads had managed to get themselves hurt tramping carelessly through the woods. One of them had stepped in a bear trap, another had fallen and broken his arm, and a third managed to burn her wrist, though on what no one was certain. Shortly after that had been settled a member of the Jaynestown construction crew was hauled in, reeking of booze and nursing several broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and shards of broken beer bottle sticking out of his skin. He was a notoriously angry drunk, and one of the male nurses had actually been knocked unconscious before Columbus could manage to get him sedated.

There were only a few short hours to dawn when Collie finally stumbled into the small apartment he and Tally had been given. He threw the deadbolt and leaned against the door for a second, trying to will his limbs to feel a little less heavy. He knew he needed to shower, to try to isolate the germs he'd encountered as much as possible, but he just couldn't force himself to do it. It had been a long 24 hours and he'd been ordered home, only to be disturbed if something major happened, something that couldn't wait or couldn't be handled by those who knew a little bit about something. When he fell onto the bed, he was still wearing his hoodie, still wearing his shoes, and too fucking tired to change a bit of it. Florida's eyes opened when he felt the doctor drop onto the bed and he turned to face him. Ohio was already almost asleep. Tally got out of bed and pulled Collie's Converse high-tops off his feet and gently pulled him out of his jacket before bringing the blankets around him. The former student mumbled something that might have been thanks, but he was too far gone to make much sense.

Columbus woke with a sigh sometime around noon. He shuffled into the bathroom and turned the water on, almost too hot to tolerate, and he stood under the hot spray for a few minutes before he bothered reaching for the shampoo. He was still dead tired, but he needed to make a round on the hospital, just to make sure everything was still okay. He shuffled out of the shower and back to the bedroom, where he pulled on clean, non-contaminated clothes. He headed to the kitchen with a distinct need for orange juice. He paused in the doorway of the kitchen, curious as to what Tallahassee was doing in the kitchen.

"Hungry?" Florida asked.

"Y...Yeah. Gotta make it quick though. I've got rounds." Columbus yawned.

"You ain't goin' nowhere any time soon." Tallahassee growled.

Columbus paused and regarded the southerner with incredulity.

"What?"

Florida sighed and tried rephrasing the sentiment.

"I talked to your buddies down at the hospital. You aren't going in today unless something happens they can't handle. I know you want to help all those people, but you can't."

"Wait a second-" Columbus sputtered.

"Not as damn tired as you are. You wanna make a walk through later today, that's fine. But I ain't having you out there beat like this. We have all the time in the world for you to help everyone eventually." Tallahassee continued.

"Wait... Wait what?"

"You're keen to stay and help everyone who needs it. I might as well stay here and help you, 'cause you sure as hell ain't in a condition to help yourself half the damn time."

Columbus could only smile as he sat down at the kitchen table with Tallahassee and lunch. The hospital could wait for now.

* * *

(1) Reference to one of my favorite episodes of the (discontinued) TV show: Firefly. Not really a huge thing, just figured you guys might want to know that the only significance of the town's name is that I love the show I stole the name from. XD


	22. FAITH

**A/N:** FAITH. Not a whole lot of emphasis on the slash in this one, more of how Talumbus and their outlook can change someone's life. And yes, Jessica The Intern, I'm free-writing this in the Edit/Preview portal. XD

**brokenwriter:** I am seriously hoping they bring Firefly back. That final episode just pissed me off. And there's so much missing between the show and the film that not even the comic books cover. TT_TT

**Ninny-na:** I like believing that Collie can be more than he seems to be when the occasion calls for it. He did, after all, survive the apocalypse for like, two months before he met Tally.

**Taisi:** Don't say it too loud, but it almost looks like our Tally is whipped. XD

**Tubular Fox:** Jayne was always my favorite character, with Wash and Mal tied for a close second. :3 I sort of always pictured him as doing majoring in something ridiculously difficult like med school. And he mentions not really having too many social interactions away from his computer, which really kinda describes the life of a med student. XD

* * *

When I was younger, I used to ask my mother how she could smile every morning, even after watching the news. She would always smile wider and tell me, "Allison, you can't just _survive_ day-to-day life. You have to learn how to make the most of everything. The key to that is having faith in humanity as a race instead of losing that faith because of one or two individuals. A single bad apple doesn't bode ill for the rest of the bushel."

She'd been dead for almost three years when the outbreak happened and I no longer had someone to comfort me when I began wondering what the point of it all was. There were no more good apples or bad apples; there was us and them, there was humanity and the inhuman. There was nothing to smile for anymore. I would walk down familiar streets with a rifle slung over my back and my hand resting on the pistol holstered at my side and I wouldn't see children laughing and playing, I wouldn't see lemonade stands in the heat of August, I wouldn't see little boys playing cowboys and Indians and building forts where girls weren't allowed because of their cooties; instead I'd see the half-eaten remains of the people I used to know, the people I swore to protect and serve.

It's been seven and a half months since the outbreak started and I couldn't tell you how much ammunition I've blown through killing those things that used to be people. Some days I climb into my old patrol car and I look at my badge and I remember the first time I came home and told my mom I wanted to be a cop when I grew up. I was in the third grade. I ran up to her screaming, "Mommy, a policewoman was in the class today talking to us and that's what I wanna be now! It's better than an astronaut!" She smiled and told me that I should do whatever makes me happy. She smiled more than anyone I ever knew.

My hair is longer on my identification card; long, black, and tied back into a thick braid. I cut it before my mother's funeral and refused to grow it back out. Everyone told me I had my mother's hair and my father's eyes. I can't change my eyes, and I don't need any more reminders of the past, not when the present is so hard to deal with as it stands.

I'd been traveling the country, looking for survivors with no success for six months when I found the two survivors who reminded me of my mother's smile and blind faith in humanity.

They were an odd pair; one of them was small, shy, timid, well-educated and sheltered. His partner was the opposite in that he was brash, loud, fearless, bold, brawny, and his speech hinted at a high school education at most. I found the two of them siphoning gas from a large truck in front of a grocery store that they had clearly just looted. The smaller of the two, one who called himself "Columbus, Ohio" had stuttered and cowered when he saw me, clearly expecting some sort of legal ramifications for his actions. The larger one, "Tallahassee, Florida" clearly wanted me to try doing something to stop them. I just asked if they'd hit any of the other cars so I knew which ones were empty before I tried refueling.

I'm not sure how the conversation started, I just remember the kid saying something to me and it started from there. I invited them back to the tiny police station the town we were currently in offered. It was the first place I'd gone, probably some sort of sick, subconscious hope that pushed me to the familiarity of that type of surrounding. It didn't really matter; the place was already made to keep the unwanted from getting in or out, so fortifications could be foregone as long as you didn't attract attention and weren't planning on staying for long.

I could tell they were in love the moment they started conferring over whether they should take me up on my offer. Columbus would say something and Tallahassee would try with all his might to tell him no, but it only took a single dejected sigh from Ohio and his companion suddenly wasn't so tough anymore.

They followed me back to the station and I locked the front doors behind us. They asked what they should call me, since Tallahassee was so against real names. I told them to just call me Tex (1) and they didn't seem to have too many problems with that.

We talked over our dinner of canned fruit and whatever else we could find and I found that there used to be four people to their group, the other two being sisters calling themselves Little Rock and Wichita. They had opted to stay in California while these two wandered the rest of the country. I thought that was just plain stupid, at first. There's always safety in numbers, especially in a situation like this one where the rest of the world was out to munch on your gooey insides.

"It wasn't so much that we couldn't stand each other as much as it was I couldn't stand her train of thought. See, Wichita liked to play the 'It's the apocalypse, all hope is lost, fuck you and all you stand for' game. I don't see the point. I mean, if you think about it, when we finally start to regroup as a species, we won't have time to play the political games. There's no time for sexism or racism or genocide or any of that. Who cares if the mayor is a Democrat? As long as he's not turning me into lunch, I don't care _what_ his political stance is. I'm pretty sure the rest of the survivors feel the same way." Columbus pointed out.

I couldn't help but agree with him. Most of everyone was dead, but those that weren't could certainly appreciate the change in the human condition. It was an interesting take on things actually. It was generally difficult for me to picture a future where humanity regroups in the wake of an apocalypse; I was more concerned with making sure I didn't get eaten at that particular moment. But the kid had a point, a valid one, and I wondered why it was I didn't think of that before. I shrugged it off and watched the two of them bicker over something trivial and mundane, something that didn't make a difference to anyone; but it was just the way they were arguing, like they _knew_ it didn't make a difference...

We were together for a few days, raiding the town, picking through the booby-traps left by previous survivors. Poor Columbus almost got snagged by a wicked improvised bear-trap. He's lucky Tallahassee pays attention and has the quick reflexes to go with that attention span. He scolded the kid and told him that he needed to keep his damned eyes open. Ohio just blushed and looked sheepish through the duration of the lecture. It made me start wondering if there were more forces at work here than just natural selection. Out of the six billion people on Earth, out of the billions of different personalities, out of all of the people who would've just as soon stolen my food and left me with nothing, I managed to find the two that were just concerned with getting by, finding their favorite food, moving on, dealing with the apocalypse as it happened to them.

I watched them leave, driving off on a pretty morning in the pale, pale sunrise of what would prove to be a beautiful day, and I realized Columbus had the right idea about things. Because out of all of the people in the world I could have been stuck with, I managed to find two that made life their own and took everything in stride, who managed to smile at everything, and I remembered being a younger girl and asking my mother how she could smile in the morning, even after seeing the school shootings and the suicide bombings. I remember she would smile at me and tell me that one bad apple doesn't bode ill for the bushel, and when it comes right down to it, humanity is beautiful at its core.

I became a cop to stop the bad in the world because I believed that was the best possible thing I could offer up to people. I think that maybe this new faith in humanity as a whole is something that we could use just as much. Because, really, with the world in shambles and burning around us, the only option we have is to rebuild and make the best of what we have before we move on to make it better.

* * *

(1) Not really a "random" selection on the name... My obsession with a web-series called Red Versus Blue is flaring up again because I haven't watched it in like... Over a year because I haven't had time to keep up with the story-line, and now that I am watching it again, I'm exploring the darker depths of Rooster Teeth and going so far as to become intrigued by their podcast with intentions of downloading that too, sooo... Freelance Agent "Texas" AKA "Tex" is a character from RVB, and her "real name" is Allison. That character is the reason my ex calls me Tex. Expect random references like that to pop up for a while until this obsession passes. They're showing up in all my fandoms lately... TT_TT


	23. FORTITUDE

**A/N:** FORTITUDE. Sorry this one's taken so long. I've been busy. Also, writer's block, Christmas, snowboarding, and a sprained wrist. XD

**kittit24:** I actually borrowed the outlook on the restructuring of humanity from the book "World War Z". It's a really good read and focuses more on what happens _after_ the zombie apocalypse, instead of _during_. :P

**Ninny-Na:** Touche indeed. :D And there are some things that you can just tell, ya know?

**VampiressKatasandra:** Hee hee. Yeah, I've been watching RVB for a few years now. I stalk the Rooster Teeth site relentlessly and I've been sponsoring them for a little while now. :) I'm glad you enjoyed the story and the reference. :)

**Taisi:** Well Tally's pushover-ness is practically canon in the film. The scene where Collie sprays him with the "perfume"? And Tally decided to hit him at "25% power"? Come on. :P Glad you found it enjoyable.

**PencilsLovePaper:** Sorry it took so long. Things here at Trish Industries have been crazy and left very little time for writing. D:

**Hardy The Monkey:** I thought the name fit, and it wasn't until after the publishing I realized what I'd done. I blame it on the fact that I've actually, for a while now, been entertaining a Zombieland/Left 4 Dead 2 crossover, with the clearly cannon Tallahassee/Columbus and Nick/Ellis pairings. :P

**Vithian:** I _love_ Johnny The Homicidal Maniac. Like, no doubt. His outlook on life is interesting and refreshing. Unfortunately, JTHM and Invader Zim are the only two Jhonen Vazquez works I've ever kept up with, but I'm hoping to pick up more of his works as time goes by and I get a little more money. :)

**KairiSama21: **Glad you liked the chapter, love. :D

**Sin Piedad:** The first time I watched through Zombieland, the only thing I was sure of was that everyone would've been better off if Wichita had never showed up. I didn't really entertain Tallahassee/Columbus as a serious pairing until the third time I watched it all the way through and I started picking up on the subtleties of their relationship. :)

* * *

"You know, a wimpy kid like you, I'd've expected to hear more whining about the end of the world." Wichita almost smiled.

I didn't respond, didn't give any indication that I'd heard her. I continued going through the rubble that remained of my home. There were no signs of my parents inside, no blood trails or unidentifiable corpses. Their suitcases were gone, most of their clothes and just about every picture they'd ever taken. What few things I left in my room before going to university were pretty much untouched. They either figured the things I left didn't mean much or they weren't planning on seeing me alive again to give them back to me. It didn't really matter either way, because knowing them and their blatant pacifism, they hadn't made it very far. My mother was the type of woman who couldn't cook a whole turkey for Thanksgiving simply because it still looked like a bird. And my dad? He couldn't eat Boar's Head ham because of the _connotation_. There's no way in any circle of Hell they'd be able to shoot a zombie that still looked humanoid in some way.

I brushed my hands off on the sides of my jeans and moved from the living room back towards my bedroom again. I honestly hadn't left much behind when I'd moved out. I get paranoid and claustrophobic when I fly and I wouldn't be able to drive back home without pulling over to call my mom at least once an hour, meaning once at University, I wasn't leaving short of a disaster. Like, say, a zombie apocalypse. I sat in the middle of my bed that was damp and coated with dust courtesy of a hole in my ceiling, thanks to the neighbor's oak tree falling over. I wish I could say that sitting there made me break down and cry, but it had taken us weeks to crawl from Pacific Playland east to Ohio, and in that time I'd pretty much come to the conclusion that we we got there, everyone would be dead.

I sat down at the kitchen table, running my fingers over the wood. I had an aunt that used to visit all the time. She'd sit at the table drinking a desert wine, telling my mom she should get out more, live a little. She'd then usually go off on a tangent about how they were actually making their lives worse by never leaving the house. She was the most interesting relative we had, given the fact that she was the only one with a sense of humor. Thinking about it, she was likely the only one who could survive something like a zombie apocalypse.

Wichita apparently didn't like being ignored and she stormed out of the house. I looked through the cabinets and smiled when I found a bottle of Aunt Adeline's wine. I dug around in one of the doors and grabbed a corkscrew. I'd just finally wrestled the cork from the bottle when Tallahassee walked in. I set the bottle on the counter and began looking for her wine glasses. After a few minutes I gave up and drank directly from the bottle. It was room temperature and not quite as good as it could've been, but it was something familiar. Aunt Addie used to sneak me glasses of wine, ever since I was seventeen.

"Wichita said you looked upset." Florida eventually said.

"Nothing here that I wasn't expecting." I shrugged. To be honest, I was expecting things to be worse. I was expecting blood and guts and neighbors snacking on my parents. Instead I got an empty house with a station wagon crashed through the living room and a bottle of good wine. I sat back down at the table with the cool bottle in my hands.

"I thought you didn't drink." Tallahassee frowned.

"I don't drink _liquor_. There's a difference."

Tallahassee similarly went through the cabinets and I knew what he was looking for. I smiled and told him that Mom's cooking bourbon was above the stove. He thanked me and pulled the bottle down. He sat next to me and didn't say anything for a long moment.

"You seemed pretty upset when Wichita said the city had burned to the ground. You in shock or somethin' now?" He eventually asked. I couldn't help laughing.

"It's not getting to me. I mean, the rest of the world looks _just like this_. Why would my home town be any different? Because it's where _I'm_ from? Doesn't give a place a free pass from a zombie apocalypse." I took another drink from the bottle and looked out the kitchen window.

"So you're tryin' to tell me that ain't none of this botherin' you?"

"I never said it wasn't _bothering_ me, I'm just not letting it _get to me_."

"So now there's a difference?"

"Always has been."

Nothing is said for a few long minutes and we drink in silence. I could tell he wasn't really that concerned with my actions at the moment, but more about the actions that could take place in the future. It's almost funny, how he's always worrying about the now and grumbling about the future.

"Thing is, I know I won't see them again. But some part of me has _always_ known I probably wouldn't. So, yes. I am upset that my parents are likely dead, or undead. But what good is sitting here crying going to do about it?"

The thinks about what I said for a moment before shrugging. I suppose he agreed to an extent. I took another drink from the bottle, not sure if I really loved the way it reminded me of things before the end.

"You're a hell of a lot stronger than me."

I almost didn't hear him say it. I almost missed it completely. To cover for it, I take another drink from the wine bottle and ask what he means by that.

"I left Buck with his mother for a few hours. I knew something was wrong when I made it to the house and the windows were broken out. I tried convincing myself it was no big deal. So when I broke in through the front door and found a few of them in the living room, I tried convincing myself that Buck and Jamie had made it out. Searched the whole goddamned house... Found a few corpses, plenty of blood trails. Told myself they were gone, not dead. Tried making the two options seem different somehow... I know they're dead, wherever they are, but I can't convince myself of that."

I don't really remember how I managed to comfort him, but I remember it took quite a bit of time and more than just one bottle of booze to convince him that it wasn't his fault Buck and Jamie had died. I remember Wichita had walked into the room and I silently convinced her to leave. Later that night, when everyone was back to themselves, she asked me what that had been about. I explained it to her as vaguely as I could, fairly certain Tallahassee would be pissed if she knew what had upset him. She just shrugged and said, "Some people are stronger than others, but only in a certain way". She walked off in search of cigarettes and left me sitting in the lobby of the tiny hotel.

A few days later, I realized how right she was. I had been attacked raiding a supermarket and had frozen when I realized how close the zombie was. I'd almost become a squirmy little snack, and then Tallahassee came in and saved the day. Later that night when we were holed up in a tiny little hotel with only a dozen rooms or so, he got rather _emotional_ and told me that he'd been horrified he was going to have to watch a repeat of the tragedy that happened to Buck and Jamie. He can stare his own death in the face and not cringe or flinch or turn away, but he can't entertain the thought of someone he loves coming to harm. Me? I can't think about my own death for a fraction of a second, but I can cope with everything I knew before burning around me. Tally's strong in his way, me in mine, and the girls in theirs, and between the four of us, as strange of a family as we are, we have each other to turn to when we're facing our weaknesses, and, really, that's all that matters.


	24. HOPE

**A/N:** HOPE. I'm taking a bit of a different approach and basing this one on the definition of hope that is "expecting with confidence". More POV work, this time from Tally. I know, I know. It's short and kinda sucky. But whatever. Life is crazy and I have no time for anything anymore. x.x

**Vithian:** Yes, Wichita is just trouble. But she's not really in this one. :P The copy of JTHM that I read I actually borrowed from a friend of mine. He walked up and was like, "Here. I think you'd like this. It's really funny in a dark way, and philosophical in a creepy way." And I was like, "Uh... Thanks Steve... But why are you in my English class? O_O" Haha. I'm trying to get my own copy of that one and SQUEE! and there's another one out there... I'm just drawing a massive blank on it. T_T

**Taisi:** I think that when you stick a group of people together and make them rely on one another, you pick up on who's good at what. Like it's obvious that Tallahassee is the one to go to when shit's getting out of hand. Columbus, being the nerdy shut-in, would be the one to see when you have a random question that needs to be answered. Wichita is the one you go to when you need someone manipulated to hell and back, and as a general reminder that you're not the most hated person left on the planet. XD

**Ninny-na:** I sucked so hard at snowboarding... I sprained my wrist and went down to medical to get an Ace wrap for it and they tried cutting my lift ticket so I could snowboard anymore for the rest of the day and I was like, "Pffft. No." I ended up not being able to snowboard for the rest of the day because I couldn't manipulate the bindings right and if I fell, I couldn't put weight on that hand, meaning I couldn't get up. I learned how to ski though, and I'm awesome at that. :D And yes, Hero Tally FTW. :P

**kittit24: **Happy New Year, love. And yes, Collie isn't pathetic. I mean, he's got to be strong _somehow_, because he survived the zombie apocalypse when all the rest of the population did was taste delicious! X3

**WickedWillows:** I'm glad you've liked the chapters so far. :D

**VampiressKatasandra:** I love coincidences like that. They make me hella happy. :3 Glad you liked the story. :)

* * *

I ain't ever really been one to put much stock in somethin' I can't see, just not the way of things. In my experience, if you can't manipulate it, use it, change it, make it work when it needs to work, then it ain't much use anyway. I reckon that's why religion never appealed to me; just a bunch of wishin' things were made better by somethin' we can't see. Don't mean I'm an atheist, just means I got no use for organized religion.

Columbus says that makes me more of a pessimist than anythin', but the 'metaphysical' is always getting people in ta more trouble than they can handle. Life's easier when you only rely on sure things. Takin' chances on somethin' that could blow up in your face just as soon as it could make the zombies go away by magic just ain't a gamble I'm comfortable with makin', especially considering it ain't just my life on the line.

"You've got to have hope in something."

I don't remember what we were talking about to make Columbus say that or how the conversation got started. That kid could talk forever and never run outta stupid shit to say, and it ain't that easy to keep track of everythin' he rambles on over. But that one comment o' his actually got my attention. I told him there's no point in puttin' stock in magical wishes. He laughed like he was tryin' not ta, but it didn't really work too well.

"Hope doesn't just mean saying a prayer and trusting that things are magically going to fix themselves, Tally. Hope is expecting anything with that level of assurance and confidence. You don't have to pray for something to hope that it'll happen. I hope every night when we finally find a place to sleep that you'll still be here when I wake up instead of back in Bum-Fuck Alabama or wherever the hell else you could end up."

I didn't really find it all that surprising for him to have a different outlook on things. He _is_ the 'brains' of the outfit with his almost-finished college and shit. I guess what shocked the shit outta me was how he kinda had a point, instead of rattlin' off random facts that no one gives a shit about. Honestly, who gives a gnat's ass how many calories are in a baked fuckin' possum? (1) We ain't eaten anythin' fresh in weeks, and he's tryin' to play the Weight Watchers game.

"If you didn't have some kind of hope, you wouldn't be as calm about the apocalypse as you are." That was the other thing he said that kinda made me think. But rather than let the spit-fuck know he'd actually done that, I asked him what his big hope was, keepin' him sane.

"For a long while I was just kind of hoping I wasn't the only person left on the planet. Now I'm kinda hoping you don't ditch me in my sleep to find someone who talks less and fucks more." Kid actually blushes when he says that. I can't do anything but shake his head and remind him just why I ain't runnin' off in the middle of the night to try and find someone else.

It wasn't until later that night when I finally started thinkin' 'bout what he'd said. It made sense, in a weird way. Everybody's got somethin' they fight for. Just kinda struck me odd that he just assumed it was hope keepin' me goin' and not boredom or revenge or a standard case of ordinary crazy. I ain't a fan of giving anyone credit for anythin', but the kid was definitely doin' some heavy readin' between the lines if he figured I was hopin' for somethin' and not just killin' for fun. The annoyin' little fuck asked me the next morning what it was I was hoping for at the end of it all.

So I told him that if hope were a magical wish, then I'd be hopin' to find Buck somewhere, safe with his missin' babysitter. But if hope is somethin' to 'confidently expect', then my hope is that we eventually find a place clear enough to stop worryin' with if we're gonna get eaten in the middle of the night and manage to stay more than just one night. He laughed and said our thinkin' was a lot alike. I told him he should be glad for that, 'cause there's no hope in this damn apocalypse that I'll find another scrawny spit-fuck to agree with on anything.

Though it just makes me wonder what it was Wichita was hopin' for when she and her sister took off in our car in the middle of the night when we told 'em we weren't goin' nowhere near Las Vegas. Maybe she was 'confidently expecting' ta get her way with someone else. Maybe she was just wishin' for somethin' she wasn't seein' everywhere else in the damn country. I wish she'd find it, but I don't have much hope that she will, 'cause that little spit-fuck has a point: there's a difference between wishin' and hopin', and hope ain't so hard as it sounds.

* * *

(1) This is a bit of an on-going joke with a few friends of mine from ROTC. We had to know how many calories were in a baked possum because it showed up on tests at random, even at competitions. So when we started talking about the zombie apocalypse an how we would survive, a friend of mine just laughed and said, "Well at least we know how many calories are in a baked possum, a boiled duck egg, and a salad made of dandelions." I'm a nerd on multiple levels. :P Also, the baked possum has something like 380 calories per serving or something like that. o_O

**_RANDOM-ASS DISCLAIMER!_** I do not own Zombieland, the characters, or the plotline of the film. If I did, things would have gone a lot differently, as clearly seen by the brazen displays of yaoi I've been putting on for the past twenty-odd chapters. :D


	25. JUSTICE

**A/N:** Yeah. This one's taken a bit of time, but it's hard to work a concept like JUSTICE into the zombie apocalypse. Pretty short, but you should be expecting that. IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON, AND I DON'T MEAN THAT AMERICAN SHIT! Yes, I am a soccer fan and watching the English Premier League. Get over it. I'm following FOUR teams this year (Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool, and Arsenal), and I'm following a little more closely this year (which may come into play in future updates). And I mean close. Like how Chelsea just bought Tores from Liverpool for 50 _million pounds_. After the Reds turned down the offer of _35 million._ X_x Anyway...

**Vithian:** No, I don't believe Wichita and Columbus go well together either, and I wouldn't put it by Wichita to ditch her sister either. Besides, with an age-gap like that and the way they act towards one another, they don't really seem to be sisters and crafted the story for the convenience of it. Yes, JtHM was ammaaaaaaazzzzzing. And maybe the reason I couldn't remember "I Feel Sick" was because I didn't really like Devi at all. I kinda think Nny shoulda killed her. XD

**Taisi:** I personally think all of the Virtues are tricky in their own way, especially given how morals and virtues are likely to be forgotten during an apocalypse. -nodnod-

**Ninny:** Glad you like it dear. :)

* * *

"There are all kinds of justice; Man's, God's, and even the Devil's."

"He's right you know." Columbus murmured, his eyes still fixed on the screen.

"Right about what?" Tallahassee asked. He reached for the lukewarm bottle of soda on the coffee table, still watching the film. After the first time Columbus had watched Silent Hill and gotten over his whole new terror of the dark, he had decided that the film intrigued him and he'd taken it with them for their adventures, closely studying the plot line, losing his fear and gaining interest each time it played.

"There's all kinds of justice."

Tallahassee just nodded and continued watching the familiar plot unfold. He knew that Columbus would continue that thought regardless of if he were prompted or not. Tallahassee couldn't call it the kid's most endearing quality, but at least it wasn't as annoying as his habit of throwing out the most useless and unnerving facts and statistics at the most inappropriate times.

"But the zombies have got justice down so much better than we do." He continues just as Florida knew he would.

"And how's that?" The southerner asked.

"Well think about it. Up until the Civil Rights movements in the sixties, Jim Crow laws were deemed perfectly Constitutional and the general societal consensus was that the laws were just. They were 'fair enough'. Completely partial and discriminant."Columbus shoved popcorn into his mouth.

"And how does that bring zombies into things?"

"Well... Zombies are perfectly self-sufficient anarchists with a complete lack of conformity to any kind of ideal. It's a completely fair system they're operating on, and it's all revolving around chance. Zombies don't care if you're male or female or black or white or any of that. It's useless. Food is food and they don't care where it comes from. They don't care if your a Democrat or Republican or a Communist or a Marxist. It's a perfect system. No bias, just fairness."

Tallahassee didn't say anything for a few scenes, operating under the pretense of paying attention to the movie so an immediate answer wasn't expected.

"It ain't a 'perfect system'. Their system ain't justified. Their system is just as fuckin' random as any other system out there. You cain't justify killin' a kid as easy as you can justify killin' a serial killer. They ain't just. They're just better at not givin' a damn."

Columbus thought about the argument for a second. He was looking at it from a point of view in which the system offered no outlet or room or possibility for bias, thereby making it completely just. But how could a just system allow such horrors to happen? Was justice so simple a concept it revolved only around sheer and blind luck? Or was justice ensuring only those who deserved punishment got it?

"Hey!"

Columbus's attention snapped away from the damaged and abused wood of the coffee table with the gaping hole where a glass piece _used_ to be. He frowned at Tallahassee, who seemed rather concerned.

"Huh?" Columbus almost winced at how ineloquent he sounded.

"Movie's over, spit-fuck. Don't tell me I fucked with your morals again." Despite his words, Tallahassee seemed more than a little pleased with the notion of having completely derailed Ohio's preferred methods of thinking.

"You'd only gloat if I did." Columbus pointed out.

"Silence is affirmation, kid. So what part of it got you all doom-and-gloom?" Florida asked. He let the movie credits play through and propped his feet up on the half-shattered table by the foot of the couch.

"There can't ever be perfect justice, can there? I mean, it would literally require a utopian society to pull that off, and even then it wouldn't be justice because anyone not holding to the ideals, no matter how constricting or ridiculous, would be killed for going against the thoughts and ideals of the society. So there can't ever be justice can there?" Columbus was toying with the strings to his hoodie again, and Tallahassee knew that it was only a matter of time before he started chewing on them in agitation. He had an oral fixation problem, but it got worse when he was nervous or anxious, so it was typically a constant problem. Tallahassee swatted the younger man's hands away from the ties and Columbus smiled apologetically.

"Somethin's always gonna be unfair, Collie. Don't matter how hard we try. More we try though, the closer we come. But you gotta point. Zombies ain't exactly partial to where their food comes from, and I guess that's more'n can be said for anyone still livin'. Hell, even that bitch you were so obsessed with was a damn vegetarian. Ain't nothin' more annoyin' than a woman who won't eat what's available in the middle of a damn apocalypse. So I guess they're just as fair 'bout things as anything humanoid can be." Tallahassee shruged.

"Now you're just trying to make me feel better about it all." Columbus pouted a little more.

"I never said you weren't right to an extent. You just ain't _completely_ right. That's the shitty thing about that 'virtue' bullshit; humanity just ain't equipped for it, not in any capacity."

"Wow. Thanks for making me feel better." Columbus rolled his eyes as he spoke, the sarcasm practically drowning his words.

"You wanna talk about bein' fair? You ain't even takin' my apology seriously." Tallahassee feigned hurt rather poorly, but it was enough to make Columbus smile.

"You're a real jackass, you know that?"

"Yep. Had it printed up on business cards and everything."

Columbus only laughed at the though. After a few minutes, he sobered up a bit and his thoughts began running in circles and chasing themselves around and around again, making him feel the slightest bit dizzy.

"You ever think that maybe _we're_ the most just people left?" He eventually asked. He studied Tallahassee's face carefully and tried to figure out what his companion was going to say before he said it.

"Yeah, I guess so. I mean, it ain't like the zombies are killin' each other for eatin' our families and such." Florida shrugged. They both fell silent for a moment. Outside of each other, they had no one left. Their families were dead, either really dead or undead didn't really matter, and Wichita and Little Rock had fled up to Canada to find one of the Witch's ex-boyfriends who, supposedly, could protect them. But did the fact that the zombies were indiscriminately killing and eating anyone they came across make the "murders" committed by the survivors justified for stopping what would likely be an endless reign of terror.

But... If killing a killer was all it took for a murder to be justified, then why were there laws against vigilantes and taking the law into your own hands? Was it because the killings weren't _truly_ justified? Or was it fear that the vigilantes would let the power over human life to to their heads and kill just as mercilessly as those they would kill? Perhaps because the punishment of death didn't always fit the crime? There were so many thoughts racing through Columbus's head that they were beginning to trip over one another and he was giving himself a headache. He closed his eyes and reminded himself that _this_ was why he hated talking philosophy with Tallahassee; because the southerner would usually say something to remind Columbus that he wasn't as uneducated as people liked to believe.

"You ain't thinkin' yourself to death again, are ya?" Tallahassee asked.

"Yes." Columbus groaned. He toppled over dramatically and ended up draped over his lover's lap.

"I don't know why you bother thinkin' over stuff that don't amount to shit anyway. Unless the zombies develop a conscience over night, there ain't no need to be thinkin' about "justice" or any of that other shit that only _living people_ can bother understanding." Tallahassee berated him.

"Yeah. I know. But these deep-thinking questions tend to make things feel a little more... normal, you know?"

Tallahassee nodded, but didn't comment on Ohio's almost lost tone of voice. The former student had told him that he'd been involved in all sorts of philosophy circles at the university, simply because he liked the notion of thinking bout complex things. The problem was, even if someone said something to rattle him or shake his train of thought, he always had normal life to distract him so he could think about it a little at a time and at his leisure. Now there was no real world to save him from the turns his thoughts took. He rubbed at his eyes and sighed. These abstract concepts were what distracted him from the zombies when they weren't around to fight. Problem was, then he needed a distraction from his thoughts.

"I don't know why you gotta think about this stupid shit at times like this anyway." Tallahassee muttered.

Columbus didn't answer. He chose instead to just shrug and dig the heels of his hands into his eyes with another irritated mumble.

"Hey."

Ohio opened his eyes and looked up at the Southerner staring down at him.

"Yeah?"

"Stop thinkin' so hard. We're all the justice left in the world, killin' things that don't care what they eat. Justice ain't just somethin' completely random and unbiased. Justice is settin' shit right. And shit ain't gonna be right as long as they're runnin' around and we're runnin' scared."

"Yeah. I guess."

"Don't fuckin' guess. I know what I'm talking about. Now get your ass up. Might as well get some sleep while we got a bed." Tallahassee ordered. Columbus smiled and did as he was told. Trust Tallahassee to be right _and_ smug. On the other hand, he gave it about five minutes before his headache went away, and he was no longer concerned with philosophical paradoxes _or_ zombies...


	26. PRUDENCE

**A/N:** PRUDENCE. This one has a little more play in this fandom than JUSTICE did. :P Abundant use of the F-bomb here, just a heads-up. More or less inspired by "Ohne Dich" by Rammstein. Yay German music. Sorry for the delays, but I've got hella writer's block lately, and my brothers are growing up so fast. One just had a baby, one just got deployed for the first time, and another just got married. :') Anyway...

**_DISCLAIMER:_** I do not own Columbus, Tallahassee, or Zombieland. Someone else beat me to the punch, and I am very, very upset with them on a deeply personal level. :D

**VampiressKatsandra:** :) I like making people accidentally think deeply.

**Ninny-Na:** Hints indeed. ;D

**Vithian: **They will be having a long discussion about the expiration dates of vanilla pudding in a few minutes! XD I think that whole trust issue is one of the main reasons I could never really board the Columbaha ship; she doesn't trust enough and he's too paranoid. It's one of those things where _everything_ is working against them. The only thing they have in common is being a not-zombie in a zombie apocalypse. I wouldn't be surprised if Wichita and Little Rock aren't related at all. Their relationship seems too much like two people working together for a common goal than actual sisters, if that makes sense. :/ I've flitted over to the JtHM side once or twice. As wonderful as it would be for Nny to settle down, he's got that whole thing where HE DOESN'T TOUCH PEOPLE. If he won't shake your hand, I don't think he's going to kiss you. DX I'm similarly finding the sins more fun to write, but the good in things are always fun to explore. :)

**Taisi:** Brains and brawn always have a hint of the other, ne? And yes, they are good for each other. ^_^

**Yatsuki: **Glad you like it so far, my darling. :)

**HeidiFox: **I'm so glad you like this! And I'm glad you like Poets of the Fall as well. :D

**hyperfuzzy: **The hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne! ^_^ Jayne is possibly my FAVORITE character from the entire series. I even found a website where I bought re-creations of the olive-colored BLUE SUN shirt he's always wearing in the show, and the yellow shirt he wears when they land on Miranda in the movie. :3

**RoxasIsReal13: **Thank you. ^_^

* * *

Columbus loved Tallahassee. That much was a certainty that defied logical explanations, and was, in itself, an irrefutable fact. So when he said Tallahassee was almost completely without prudence, he didn't mean it to be insulting or demeaning or belittling. He stated it for what it was; a simple fact, something that he couldn't change, and something that Florida himself didn't seem to keen on changing either.

It wasn't necessarily _carelessness_ that threw Tallahassee into dangerous situations, but rather his internal driving force that was almost a _need_ to feel the inexplicable rush that came with throwing himself headlong into a rush of gaping mouths and clawing hands. It wasn't something that he could explain, just something that happened, something that consumed him, something as vital as air, it seemed. He didn't bother calculating odds or trying to figure the safest way to get from point A to point B. If there were zombies, he was going to kill them, and he wasn't going to give a damn. They didn't have anywhere to be, and no time to get there, and Tallahassee would never put anyone _else_ in danger. He just didn't seem to be capable of caring about his own well-being if there were zombies that needed killing. If there were a store full of zombies and a clear path around it, Florida would run through the store, claiming it would save them time, completely ignoring the fact that it would take them longer to clear the store of the undead than it would to just walk around the goddamn death trap.

Columbus would often wonder if this complete disregard for danger was a life-long thing, or something that Tallahassee developed after the death of his son. In all honesty, they were equally likely, and equally troublesome. Tallahassee said prudence was a waste on his part, that there was no reason in trying to be careful about things when they zombies couldn't be bothered to show them the same courtesy. He said that's what he had Ohio for, keeping an eye on those sorts of things, making sure they had enough supplies to last them a romp out into the middle of nowhere without killing them. He had prudence enough for the both of them, so prudence from both of them would just be overkill.

So often on the nights when sleep was made impossible by the sheer volume of the moans of the undead, Columbus would try his damnest to plot out at lest their next three moves. He would try to think of the best way to keep them out of trouble and away from what would undoubtedly be high concentrations of zombies, but that would often times fall apart. Florida would inevitably smell danger and excitement and run headlong into it and all of Columbus's planning would be for nothing. They would be in the middle of danger and often times far removed from safety and supplies. Ohio would try berating him, yelling at him, scolding him, going so far as to withhold sex if he thought it might make a difference. But it never did. Florida would swear himself a changed man, and would later revert back to the same old habits, go right back to running into things headfirst without a second thought.

"Are you suicidal, or just incapable of thinking clearly to _any_ degree?" Columbus demanded. His face was cut in several places, and his ribs were cracked and bruised. They'd somehow managed to blow up a gas station, and they'd been caught and damaged in the aftermath. Tallahassee hadn't even seemed too worried with things.

"Dammit, Collie. I told ya to stay in the truck. 'S your own damn fault."

"It's _my_ goddamn fault that _you_ got us blown the fuck up? I went in there to try and fucking save you! And it's _my_ goddamn fault I got hurt? I guess it's my fault for loving you, huh? For giving a damn? Well fuck you, you goddamn backwater, inbred, illiterate, hygienically-challenged, alcoholic hick! Fuck you!" Columbus stood up and stormed out of the bookstore they were taking shelter in. It was his turn to throw caution to the wind and not give a flying fuck what happened because of his actions. He bent down and scooped up a handful of rocks and threw them out into the darkness with an incoherent yell. Pain exploded through his ribs and the scream choked off and he stumbled.

"Now yer just bein' stupid." Tallahassee growled. He stepped forward and tried collecting the former college student up, tried pulling him back inside, but his efforts were in vain. Columbus slapped at his hands and shoved him away.

"It's perfectly fine for _you_ to be an idiot, but _I_ can't do it? Get the fuck away from me you hypocrite." Columbus walked farther away from the safety offered by their little store and deeper into the darkness.

"Get back here!" Tallahassee ordered. He grew angrier as the younger man continued walking away and responded by flicking him off. Florida cursed loudly and ran after him, grabbing his shoulder and spinning him back around.

"Get your ass back inside, Columbus." He growled.

"Let me go."

"You don't get it, do you?"

"I think I get it just fucking fine. You can be as hateful and careless as you choose, but God forbid I try and rebel against your idiocies. You want me to plan shit out, to take care of it all, to make sure we don't get killed. And why? So you can ignore it? So you can get one or both of us killed? Just leave me be! If nothing I do makes a difference, then why do you tell me to keep doing it?" Columbus shoved him backwards as he yelled.

"Let's take this conversation inside. We'll be safer from all the zombies you're attractin', and you'll have more shit to throw at me."

Columbus pulled away from his grabbing hands again and stormed back inside, fighting the urge to slam the door shut and lock Tallahassee outside to think about his hypocrisy and stupidity. He settled in behind the register, kicking the broken bit of machinery onto the floor to make room for him to sit on the counter comfortably.

"You're stupider than you look." Tallahassee muttered.

"Get the fuck out of my way. I'm going back outside." Columbus rose and started towards the door.

"Sit your scrawny ass back down, spit-fuck."

"Fuck you."

"Shut up. I want you sittin' there plottin' everything out and lookin' for a way out of everything 'cause it ain't me I'm worried 'bout. I got a list of ways to kill a zombie with a plastic bucket and a box of crayons. You don't. It ain't me I got you plannin' for."

"Don't you fucking dare pretend to be selfless!"

"I'm not. You think I'm makin' sure you cover your ass for you? Goddammit, Columbus. I can afford to throw myself into these things as long as you're waitin' in the damn car, 'cause you're all I got left to lose. You got time and somethin' to look forward to. Don't think I wasn't listenin' when you said you wanted to find more people and maybe start a settlement. That's your dream. That's somethin' for you to look for. I ain't got that, Ohio. I got _you_. So it's your job to look for a way out 'cause there ain't no guaranteein' shit's gonna go right and we might need a good way out."

"So you're using my prudence to save your sorry ass from getting killed."

Tallahassee turned away from him and kicked over a bookshelf.

"No! I'm using your prudence to save _your _sorry ass from gettin' killed! Didn't you listen to a goddamn thing? I don't give a flyin' fuck about me! I got you doin' all that plannin' for _you_! Do you have the slightest fuckin' idea what would happen to me if you got killed? You got no fuckin' clue! None! 'S bad enough I lost Buck. I ain't about to lose you, too!"

"Oh, so it's all the fuck about you, isn't it? You are the _only_ goddamn person I have _ever_ loved, and in the middle of the goddamn apocalypse, that isn't going to happen again! You're an arrogant, selfish, conceited, pompous, self-centered son of a bitch! You're sitting over there, "oh poor me", and you never even once thought about what _you_ do to _me_ when you run off into a fucking horde practically unarmed! Do you _honestly_ believe I would be anything short of destroyed if you died? Or worse, turned? I wouldn't be able to kill you. I wouldn't run. I would _give up_." Columbus was in tears, and yet he continued screaming. Tallahassee was, for the first time, at a loss for words, and Columbus capitalized on the silence.

"Don't you fucking dare try to make a play on fear, make it sound like I'm not losing anything if you get yourself killed because you're wrong. Dead. Fucking. Wrong. I am so _sick_ of trying to keep both of us safe, just to have it be ignored and spend the rest of my waking hours wondering if this time you're actually going to get eaten or bitten or turned or bled out! I'm tired of it! I'm tired of hating how much I care, and I'm tired of being conflicted by it all! I can't force myself to leave, but I'm losing my mind by forcing myself to stay." His words were coming across as little more than choked sobs at this point.

"Do you think I went outta my way to make you like this? I was tryin' ta save you from this type o' shit!"

"Well it clearly isn't working! Just... Just stop making me wonder if I'm going to lose you this time. I know I'm not strong enough to save you if you ever get overwhelmed. And I'm so damn scared... I'm scared it's going to happen because you're too careless for your own good. You don't even try avoiding danger. You see it and run to it and I can't... I just can't. It's exhausting on so many different levels, knowing that if there's a zombie within a five mile radius you're going after it. You know the only reason I survived those initial two months was because I could outrun them. I need you here for so many reasons, and you can't respect that enough to stop actively trying to get yourself killed. I never realized that loving someone could be this fucking painful. And all because you're careless."

"Don't you try an' make it sound like I've been intentionally trying to put you through this shit. How the hell am I supposed to know you're fucked up like this if you never say anything? I don't read fuckin' minds, and you never tell me when something's bothering you!"

"STOP MAKING THIS MY FAULT! If you don't care enough to make an attempt at doing something other than putting yourself in eminent danger just for the fun of it, then I don't know why I care enough to stay here, waiting for you to die so I can _finally_ find it in myself to give up."

"If you wanna leave so goddamn bad, then do it!"

"I _don't_ want to leave you fucking idiot! I _love_ you! Or are you too fucking retarded to realize the only reason I'm so upset is because I love you and I'm scared of losing you?" Columbus stepped forward again and shoved Tallahassee as he yelled. Tallahassee grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him roughly in an attempt at shutting him up. It worked, if only for a few minutes or so.

"You're changing the subject." Columbus eventually panted.

"No'm not."

"You're a reckless idiot and you keep trying to get yourself killed. Kissing me doesn't change that."

"I'm proving a point. None of it was intentional."

"So you'll stop running into needless danger?" Columbus was clearly not convinced by the sudden proclamation of attitude change.

"I'll... Work on it. This shit don't just happen overnight, ya know." Tallahassee scowled.

"I guess that's going to have to do for now, isn't it?"

"Shut up, ya damn prude."

"_What_? What did you just call me?"

"I called you a _prude_. You wanna go on an' on about how "prudent" you are. The damn shoe fits, your scrawny ass is gonna wear it." Rather than be offended, Columbus chose to laugh. There had been enough needless arguing, and he was one step closer to fixing whatever had Tallahassee so broken, one step closer to keeping him safe.


	27. TEMPERANCE

**A/N:** TEMPERANCE. The last of the Holy Virtues, and then back to the regularly scheduled random. Yes, it's taken forever. I've been busy, sick, and as of Mother's Day 2011, concussed. Yeah. Happy Mother's Day! Hit my head, blacked out, had a seizure, and can now do very little without being stopped ever tin minutes to make sure I'm okay. More annoying than it sounds. -_-;

**Ninny:** Oh, we all have those days. XD I think that Collie has the right to be angry every now and then. ;)

**Taisi:** When you really care about someone and they're doing something stupid, then there isn't much you _wouldn't_ do to make them stop, thereby unlocking the inner BAMF. :3

**Vithian:** I can understand a certain degree of mistrust, like sleeping lightly until you're sure your food isn't getting jacked or you're getting tied down to be raped or something, but she just took it to an entirely different level of paranoia. _ Fuck you, Wichita. You suck. XD

**HeidiFox:** I'm glad you like it and I hope you figured out how to react to that last chapter. XD

**KariSama21:** Couples that don't fight are statistically less happy than couples that do. Just saying. P:

**Shadow Ryu Feather:** Yeah, they're all one-shots, except for the two about Rye. All the others can stand alone. And not _all_ fluff. ;)

* * *

The first year of the infection, or what Columbus liked to call "Zed Year One", was impossibly difficult on those who had survived the outbreak. Those not turned or eaten within the first few months often went crazy, killed themselves, killed those with them. Few could keep it together enough to really keep living.

Columbus, for all of his rules and obsessions and compulsions, had learned how to live during the apocalypse. He took the time to enjoy the little things, like fresh air, no traffic noises, and the fact that he could eat whatever he wanted without having to worry about strange looks from people. After all, Wichita had gone stir crazy and walked off with her sister, and Tallahassee had no room to talk; any man who put vodka on his Froot Loops immediately lost his right to make fun of someone for putting ranch dressing on pizza.

Ohio initially saw no reason to tell Tallahassee to knock it off with the drinking. Zed Year One had stripped them both of everything they had ever loved, and sometimes you needed a little help with coping some times. He, on occasion, found himself indulging in things a little stronger than the vintage wine he'd shared with Wichita at Bill Murray's house.

The start of Zed Year Two brought about renewed drinking vigor for Tallahassee. He said he would never forget the date of Buck's death, and it had happened right at the start of Zed One. Columbus hoped that, once the time passed, Tallahassee would spring back and return to his typical, violent self. He didn't. He continued to drink, and drink, and drink, and it began to worry Columbus. It was a shot with breakfast, two with lunch, four before bed... Things continued to get worse progressively.

"Would it kill you to use _a little_ self control and not stumble around like a drunken asshole for once?"

Tallahassee waved the concern off and opened a new bottle of bourbon. If he wanted to commit genocide against his brain cells and turn his liver into a brick, that was his prerogative and none of Ohio's concern. He said as much, though with words smaller and more slurred.

There was one day when Tallahassee was nursing a particularly heinous hangover and had been snapping and growling at everything all day. He sat down for lunch with Columbus in a large, penthouse, corner office in a city that had been mostly evacuated before the outbreak became a pandemic when he started listening to the nagging and griping.

"I had an older brother you know. He was the black sheep of the family. He decided life had too much to offer for him to spend his time hiding inside with books and neurotic tendencies. He said that there was a whole fucking world out there, and he was going to live it. He started drinking at thirteen because my mom said she'd never tolerate a drunkard in her home. He would stumble through the front door at two in the morning and you could probably smell the alcohol on him next door. He made Mom cry, and said that she had to understand he couldn't be controlled by her forever, and that living in a bubble wasn't living at all.

"He wasn't all that bad when he was sober. He taught me how to play Metal Gear Solid, and he would check the closet and under the bed and in the bathroom for monsters after I watched him play Doom. But drinking made him mean and angry. He would come home drunk and he'd just throw things. He broke dishes, chairs, anything he could get his hands on. Any_one_ he could get his hands on."

"You sayin' that bastard hit you?" Tallahassee raged silently to himself at the notion of someone laying hands on his Collie.

"Yeah, he did. It was his senior year of high school, the week before finals. He'd been saving up his sick days and spent the entire week drinking. If there wasn't a bottle in his hands, it was because he was too busy puking to hold on to one. A friend of mine brought over an updated Dungeons and Dragons rulebook and a group of us were set up in the basement, minding our own business and being good little dorks, and he came down the stairs and pitched a fit until everyone left. I told him he didn't have to be a dick about it."

"So he hit you?"

"I guess. I woke up in the hospital. Whatever he did had fractured my cheekbone, broke five of my ribs and gave me a mild concussion. My parents had him arrested for underage drinking and assault. They had hoped it was just a phase he would grow out of, but he never did. He was 18 when it happened. Tried as an adult, sent off to jail. He wrote to me a lot, apologized, said he was getting clean, got out early on good behavior. He stopped by the house to see Mom and Dad and told them he was clean, that he didn't have any intentions of drinking again. It lasted two weeks and someone threw him a party for getting out of jail."

"He hit you again."

"Mom and Dad were gone. They were at the grocery store. I don't even remember what I said that set him off, but it was probably something about his sobriety. He hit me. And then he did it again. And he did it again. Then he spit on me and made fun of me for crying. He didn't go to jail that time, because he stole the neighbors car and wrapped it around a telephone pole."

"That's why you don't drink? Because your brother had a problem?"

"Because I'm terrified that one day I'm going to look in the mirror and I'm going to realize I've turned into Anthony by accident. I don't want to get drunk and hurt the people I care about. You know how many people showed up to his funeral? Twelve, including me, my parents and the priest. It had to be a close-casket funeral. The police report says he was trying to light a cigarette and caught his jacket on fire somehow, and he dumped a bottle of what he thought was water on it, except it was more vodka from the party. They said that's what caused the crash, was his panic. He suffered third degree burns over ninety-five percent of his body. And the shitty thing is they couldn't tell how much peri- or postmortem. There's no way to tell how long my brother burned before he hit the pole and broke his neck. So excuse the fuck out of me if I don't like alcohol because of all it's taken from me."

Tallahassee didn't say anything as Columbus stood and walked away. He wasn't sure there was anything he _could_ say. He was known for being completely insensitive, but he knew first had what it was like to lose someone you loved, and that was just through the cruelties of Fate. He couldn't imagine what it felt like to know you'd lost them to something avoidable. He looked at the whiskey bottle laying on its side, dripping slowly on to the concrete. He normally would've called that alcohol abuse, but at that moment, he felt sick to his stomach just looking at it. He kicked the liquor, sending more of it spilling out across the floor.

It wasn't necessarily a gradual change, but one that might've gone unnoticed. Tallahassee had poured out all but the tiniest bit of his alcohol. "In case of normal infection. Or celebration," he'd said. Columbus didn't say anything, but was secretly pleased when Florida allowed him to keep it under lock and key. There were days when Columbus was disappointed to find Tallahassee with another bottle in his hands, but he never said anything about it. He figured his look of disapproval was enough to dissuade him from drinking further, and it usually was.


	28. Status Change

**_STATUS CHANGE!_**

This is really just one big Author's Note. All of my open projects here are going to be put on "Hiatus", but it isn't one of those "code for quitting" things. I'm working on some original content to get up over on FictionPress and I've decided that there's really no reason for me to keep making excuses on why I don't look for my camera to get back to photography. I'll keep lurking here, I'm not closing the stories or deleting my account or anything, I'm just not really gonna be active here so I can focus more on my original works. I'm sure I'll be back before long, but right now, there's too much going on at once and, unfortunately, this is one of the things that I have to step back from. But don't feel like you guys are the only ones suffering through this; I don't have plans on seeing my Xbox until the end of December when my ex and I get together and turn Call of Duty into a drinking game. :P

I'll be back before too long. Thanks for being patient/understanding. :)**_  
_**


End file.
